i can't even believe this...

my boyfriend of almost 4 years and I broke up, and it hasn't even been a month. now all of a sudden he's suddenly friends again with a girl who he used to like right before he asked me out. oh and here's the best part: she's newly single too. great. I can only imagine what will happen with two people who are rebounding, and used to like each other

seriously?! after almost 4 years of my life this is what happens?

guys, why? why does this happen?


Most Helpful Guy

  • :( so much more am I seeing instances of this pop up. This happened to me not 2 months ago. Granted she and I were together for only a year and a half compared to your 4 years, but it hurts no less. As it turns out the DAY after she broke up with me, she was back to trying to get this guy she's been flirting with for four years to sleep with her. And of course she talked him into it, and she even had the nerve to tell me this among all her new dates(4 at a time, seriously, unbelievable).

    It's not just a guy thing, it's a type of person thing. There are more guys that can distance themselves easily, but girls can too. It has to do with what his view of the relationship was that defines how he reacts to the aftermath of the breakup. Did you break up with him or he break up with you?

    Whatever the case may be, it freaking hurts nonetheless to hear about what an ex does with someone that is not you. Your body literally has become biologically and mentally used to him being in your life and when it realizes that what it has become used to isn't there anymore, you will go through withdrawl and intense mental anguish.

    I think the best thing for you to do is to build up the anger and focus on his faults to cushion your recovery and focus on yourself. Remind yourself that he is most likely rebounding and that you deserve so much better. Spoil yourself, nurse yourself back to happiness, and go find that guy out there just itching to make you happy!

    • It was kind of a mutual thing, in the end I think we both resented eachother. it was a pretty nasty break. I can't believe your ex did that, but even told you about it too! it makes me feel better that I'm not the only one who has felt like this though

    • Yea it sucks finding out about what an ex is doing with other women/men after they are no longer in your life. It's why I now have a strict no contact rule with ex's for at least 6 months after the breakup. I refuse to let this happen to me again. I hope you make it through yours ok. 4 Years is a long time to lose on someone you felt strongly about. Hit me up with a message if you want to talk.

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What Guys Said 1

  • this has happened to me. only it was only a 1 year relationship, so I guess its a bit easier, maybe, but still.

    what I figured, when you date for that long, its a big deal to break up. so the person doing the dumping would have probably taken some time to ask themselves if it was what they really wanted. they probably took some time to prep themselves, which isn't fair I know, and I know it doesn't make it feel any better, but that is just what happens.

    it sucks to be on the wrong side of a break up, but it happens to all of us.

    good luck!


What Girls Said 1

  • because he was ready to move on...that sort of thing always happens when you break up. You think of all the possibilities that were passed up.

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