So I haven't had a girlfriend in almost 5 years. Some of the factors include lack of interest, work, and distractions.. I've dated a few times but nothing really came of any of them..

I know I've been picky so I've really been trying to change that.. my question here is how did you guys/girls "get" girlfriends/boyfriends?

Dating hasn't ever been one of my proficiencies.. while everyone was dating/partying in school I was being a nerd. Now I guess things have changed and I attract much more girls.. I just am not able to read people enough to follow up with asking girls out.. I'm very good at making friends but nothing more.. Beyond "how do you get a gf?" I'm not even sure what exactly I'm asking for.. being that there's too many details/explanations/examples that come to mind..


Most Helpful Girl

  • It just comes naturally, I suppose. I see someone who catches my eye and usually looks attract me first. But then I try to get to know the person better and...if there's a spark, then I know.

    Usually it's the boys who ask me out first though.

    It's funny because...I'm not the kind of person who falls in love easily.

    I look at personality as well, and until I find someone who has both, I don't date.

    And well, I just know it, I can feel it if I feel deep attraction for someone.

    And not just lust but like actual affection.

    Boys ask me out because of how I look. I look for boys who actually get to know me before dating. Then I know that they're not going to use me for pleasure and just dump me the next week. Some of my best friends, who are male, have fallen in love with me. But I haven't felt attraction for them that way. I've been asked out numerous times but I usually end up declining.

    I don't know. I guess it's as you said. Someone asks you out, if they've got some kind of charm, then you agree. You're not being picky at all. Giving someone a chance is one thing, but after the date, if you really don't feel anything, then it's best to be honest and just let them know that it got you nowhere. I think that you only realize you're in love after some time, it doesn't come right away. Blind dates, in my opinion, are nothing. I'd only accept if I actually felt some sort of attraction to the guy.

    Just keep looking. Eventually, I'm sure, you'll find someone who attracts you, like, you'll feel the real kind of love, and you'll tell yourself, "Yes, this is the one I want!". Dating left and right is just stupid. Crushes are nothing, they come and go and it's just a passage. Find the one you want, the real one, then try to win them over.

    Sometimes it takes time. You might go through different relationships and even breakups but you'll find someone that you feel real emotion for in the end.

    Good luck and I hope I wasn't too confusing. :)

    • Not confusing at all. I guess a little insight would help too..

      I've only had 2 gfs in my life.. my first was my first serious relationship when I was 18 and lasted a year, after I already knew her for about a year.. I would totally say that that's the only time in my life that I was in love.. and to be honest she was right in the relationship, I was just too shy.. for starters I never kissed her.. this relationship totally changed me and kinda got me to where I am now..

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    • I'd say be friendly first. Drop hints, not too unsubtle but don't beat around the bush either. Then, if she actually accepts the invitation, get to know her better. If the first date goes well, then exchange numbers, emails, you know, to connect with her more. Ask her out on a second date if you wish and if you find the opportunity.

      I guess you can't realize whether you're in love or not straightaway. You've got to try. If you like her, maybe you might develop something more along the way.

    • You just scored points for spelling the word "subtle" (or in this case unsubtle) right. That's rare.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • Well, I think that you need to get out there and talk to a girl and show enough interest or at least start a friendship, invite her for coffee or take a walk. I can't stop thinking about a guy I like and who is a bit like you, not showing enough interest because of his studies, online sex and hanging out with his friends. He says he masturbates a lot thinking about me and misses me, yet he does not seem interested enough to contact me more and ask to hang out with me. Looks like he wants a virtual relationship, not a real one.

  • hmmm its all in your confidence. Love yourself a bit and be more secure with yourself and you will get he girls honestly. :)

    As for dating it is something that comes natural in time just have that self esteem and be yourself. If you catch her smiling at you laughing at your jokes and making a lot of eye contact then it could be your turn to ask her out to lunch or for coffee start out slow :) Show her that you are into her but don't be so crazy! There needs to be more good guys out there and not just going in for the conquest!

    I have always had this problem when guys chase me I am really not into them and when I finally get into one its hard for me to get him! I am working on this tho unfortunately I hate playin games but it is how you really catch and lock! woops I said that out loud :)

  • I met my boyfriend via internet, it's the best option for me , because I'm very choosy and via inernet I had a time to know about him all I wanted, without a date! My friends recommended me . I can see that it's very popular nowadays! I think you should try to meet your girlfriend online too! It will be perfect for you: time to know her, if you don't like her you can just move on! I think online dating is just for people like you!


What Guys Said 2

  • First, DO NOT take advice from any woman on dating.

    You are a MAN... You take what you want.

    Read my take on how to successfully get a date with a woman. Practice makes perfect. Turn yourself into a different type of animal, respect women, respect yourself, and fucking slay.

  • Keep it that way! In the long run there not worth the trouble? Seriously!!! Understand the laws of probability and you have a better understanding! Leave well enough alone!!!

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