Boyfriend finds comfort in other females when we fight?

I've been dating this guy for about 8 months now. I will admit I struggle with trust and insecurities & I have a tendency to pick fights & "break up" with him sometimes and I know its wrong & Im always trying to handle my emotions better and not be so irrational. Needless to say we've "broken up" a few times and at first my boyfriend was very understanding and always handled the situation well & we would come back together a few days later. Well during our last argument that ended in a break he reached out to an old friends with benefits. When I reached back out to apologize he was very hesitant & told me about her but we still ended up back together. I now need him to stop talking to his ex but he says "why would he stop talking to someone that never switched up on him for someone that constantly leaves" referring to me. He says he will draw boundaries but I still wouldn't trust the situation. He speaks a strong case with my inconsistency & i see where he's coming from but with him now having contact with her , it adds more worry on my part. I'm promising to handle our arguments better but now all our arguments are about her and I just don't know if I'm right to ask him to cut contact. I truly wanna be with him but the fear that he has feelings for her and will eventually go to her is causing a lot of confusion on my part. I would really just like an outside perspective on this situation. Thank you.
Boyfriend finds comfort in other females when we fight?
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