Why does it seem like men don't put in an effort to understand women?

I've been in a relationship for close to 3 years now. I've always been a giving person and I can undoubtedly say that I've stood by my SO through thick and thin. We are also looking to eventually get married. Recently I've been facing a tough time with things at home (my dad suffered a heart attack) and work and studies (I'm also studying with work) and I want him to be there for me. I tell him my problems and want him to spend time with me to get things off my chest. However, he thinks I complain too much and that talking about issues isn't going to take me anywhere. He's stopped calling me as much as he used to earlier and I'm finding it hard to tell him things without getting into an argument. Work and his friends are always a priority. I thought we were friends before we were "people in a relationship" and I thought I could tell him anything I feel. I've retreated now and I don't contact him much. He has noticed the difference but he told me that I must feel good by distancing myself from my problems but that's not the case. I'm just focusing on myself and my life. Tbh it hurts because I was expecting support and companionship. I know he loves me but it's not unconditional and call me lame but I really want something of that sort. I know the easier step is to leave him and move on but I can't be selfish. I thought love is about putting the other person first.
I want to get insights from other men whether it is so hard to understand women and their emotions. It's the little things really that matter and I don't know why he wouldn't want to be there for me the way I want him to. Is it too much to expect?
Why does it seem like men don't put in an effort to understand women?
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