What does this mean? - LONG.

I was in a relationship with this kid for only a month and a half, but we had talked and were kind of dating without a title for a while before that. At first he was ecstatic and everything was great.. but after a little bit he broke it off and said he couldn't give me himself 100% and it wasn't fair to me. When we broke it off, I acted fine with it, said that I was me and it wasn't enough and there wasn't anything I could do about it. We decided to stay friends because we had made pretty good friends. It's been about 3 weeks and we had been fine, texting like we did when we were friends.

The problem lies in this. This past weekend was the first time we had seen each other since we broke up. On Friday, we were texting while I was at a wedding and when he said goodnight he included a "<3". I figured he was drunk and just ignored it and went to bed. On Saturday during the day, I was getting ready to head out to the camp where he, and all of our friends were. I texted asking if he needed anything and at the end of our convo he said "<3 'll see you soon". He hadn't sent any hearts since we were dating and after we broke up, I stayed my flirty self and he would always just dismiss any kind of flirting or anything towards him. So this confused me, but I ignored it again. That night, when I got to camp, he was already trashed. He actually took a step back when he saw me and said "Wow, you look really cu.." and stopped. That night he was very touchy/feely with me. Kissed my forehead a few times, and just basically acted how he did when we were together. He'd go off his way and talk with friends and find his way back and talk with me. He even started massaging my neck at one point and said how he owed me a massage. And later I was taking care of this other kid who was feeling pretty sick when he came in and starting talking to me. I asked why he wasn't outside with everyone having fun and he said he'd rather be inside talking with me. I kind of ignored that as well. I guess throughout the night I was a little rude, because I was frustrated with the whole thing. The next day, when he was sober, he was friendly.. but it was just a little awkward between us. I left Sunday afternoon and we hugged and said goodbye.. but we haven't spoken since. I don't know what this means.. if he was just drunk.. or if he is regretting the break up. We usually text almost everyday if just a little while we're at work. I don't know if I should text him.. and ask him what's up.. or if I should just wait for him to text me. I really wish I knew his real intentions.

Thing to keep in mind.. we're both 24 and I was his first girlfriend since high school. He'd dated, but never had anything with a title. He's also close friends with lots of girls, and I sort of get the feeling he's afraid of the commitment, and the possibility of losing all of that.

Is there a chance he'd want me back? And if so, what can I do to make him want me back.. if anything.

Thanks for reading!

I broke down and texted him. Told him I was confused and uncomfortable by the way he was acting towards me the other night, and that I eventually just avoided him. He said he noticed Sunday morning that I was avoiding him, and that a mutual friend had..
..to tell him how he was acting. And that there were 2-3 hours where he couldn't remember, and that he was sorry. All I said was "k" and he hasn't replied since.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I'll be honest, in that whole story I think I only needed to read the first few sentences leading up to the conclusion, where he says: "he couldn't give me himself 100% and it wasn't fair to me. " This is a common male statement for people that age.

    You are both 24 which means he probably has a hard time having one on one monogamous relationships. If you are in college, he most likely has the desire to be single and date around.

    He probably does like you, but his urge to be out prowling around is greater. I wouldn't blame him for this, because when you are that age, that's pretty typical. With him liking you though, he wants the benefits of your affection (verbally, physically, emotionally) but does not want the restrictions of a monogamous, one on one relationship.

    Your suspicions that he has a hard time with commitment are true, but he will not want to let your affection go. I would say you need to move on, and if it's meant to be in the future, then it is meant to be, but there is no way you can force it.

    • You're probably right. His closest friends are girls, and I'm thinking he wasn't ready to change anything. Like I said, I was his first girlfriend in 6+ years, so I can't blame him for that. We definitely make good friends, so I'm going to stick with that route. Before we actually started our relationship, we were pretty much together anyways. We'd always fall asleep together and cuddle and we did hook up once. Maybe that's where he was trying to get back to. We'll see. Thanks for your input.

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What Guys Said 2

  • It could mean that he wants you back, or it could me that he wants you to be one of the close friends to him. I wouldn't over-think text messaging icons and things, especially if he's drunk.

    As for the act at the camp, it strongly shows he wants to get back together with you, but it could also be his drunk way of trying to be friendly and secure your friendship more. If things were awkward the morning after, than it was probably the latter.

    However, bring it up with him, if he wants to get back together with you and you want to get back together too, then why let the possibility slip away? And if he doesn't want to get back together, at least you'll understand your friendship better. Just text him something like, "Hey are you okay after last night(or whenever the camping was)?" That way you are showing that you care for him as a friend, but also shows you know something was up.

    • When he was acting like that at camp, I kind of ignored him most of the night. I guess you could say I was being sort of rude. I didn't know how to act, and all of our friends knew the situation between us so it was extra awkward. At one point, one of his best girlfriends even mentioned how he was being very touchy/feely with me. I don't know if that would contribute to his awkwardness the next day or not. In the morning when he first saw me he was like "hey you!" all cheerful..

    • Well definately talk to him about it. Just know that to a guy, when a girl brings something up from the past like this, it doesn't seem desperate or anything negative as long as you keep a good attitude, it only seems like curiousity. If you want to get back together with him then confront him about it.

    • After I said "k"... later he replied and said "I really am sorry".. and I have a pet peeve of that. It doesn't make anything better. So I just told him how I missed him and that I never asked to be his girlfriend and kind of let the word vomit out. He told me that that all proved that I didn't know him at all, and that he began caring for me so he decided to try the relationship out in order to make me a little bit happier. Said it wasn't anything I did, he just COULD NOT give me what I was looking for.

  • when a guy tells you that he can't give you 100% is two things. his life is too busy for you. What I mean is, if you need a lot of attention and require a lot from a relationship. He just may not have the time for a "relationship".


    he is not sure if he's digging you as "wifey" matterial and wants to keep his options open.

    guys don't like to go back sexualy-thus why he was still touchy fealy as before.


    girls don't like to go back financialy-n/a


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