Sometimes i feel very lonely, the people i have to hang out on a daily basis are no REAL FRIENDS at all, sometimes they judge me because i'm a complete virgin, and even started speculating i could be gay, which is not true at all.
I always felt atracted for women, probably never had a girlfrienf because i'm kind of "selective" i want to meet a girl and say to myself "that's the girl, she's the one i'm looking for", i don't want to date just for dating, i want something real. To be honest there was a point of my life where i thinked about commiting suicide, never been close of taking my life, the most far i went was just thinking of ways on how to kill myself.
I'm also very needy, i can't do a lot of things by my own, i need people to show me how to do it, once or twice, but as soon as i learn it i do not forget it. I also lived my entire life without my father, as soon as i was born he didn't give a fuck either to me and my mother, he only cared about smoking and drinking. I need opinions. My motivation right now is thinking that i'm still very young and that in like a couple years everything could be different, and i also thinked about the big mess it would be for my family and loved ones if i took my life.