My body was. numb while kiss. what this could be? never felt before?

Anonymous
I met a guy at college and even talking we've been seeing each other like no my friends know about this relationship that I have with him we've been hanging out and we kissed one time and after this Kiss weve been more and more involved but I don't want to have a relationship with him because he's kinda in a relationship so I really like him I'm not going to say that I don't because I do and everytime I say no to him like I don't want to hang out I don't want to kiss you I don't want to do anything because you are with another girl but i can't say no it's greater than me my will is greater than everything so I decided not to see him for like a month and then he texted me and I decided to hang out with him so I was so needy for his kiss that when he did it finally kissed me I felt like my body was numb I never felt this way before with anyone and then kissed me and I felt like my body was still and like I couldn't move everything just stopped and that kiss was only thing that matterd.
My body was. numb while kiss. what this could be? never felt before?
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