I don't want to like him?

Anonymous
I have a crush on this guy, I don't know if he likes me back but he shows signs that he does and then shows signs he doesn't. I have a sneeking
suspicion he likes me back but the thing is; I'm not a good pick. I'm the bruised apple among the pretty, bright red ones that are ripe for the picking. I have a lot of mental issues (PTSD, social anxiety, depression, etc) all because of choices in my childhood that I never made and bad decisions i DID make growing up. I've been abused by people I love/loved and have even been self harming since I was 7 or 8. I like him a lot but I want to stop because I don't want to get hurt again and I don't want to hurt him. He seems like he has a bright future ahead of him and I'll only slow him down with all my insecurities and problems. I'm a mess and I don't even know why I would think that a guy like him would like me back but I can't help but feel like he does and that scares me. How do I stop liking him so that I can save both me and him? I'm going to be spending time with him for a few days and I need to know what I need to do in order to make sure he doesn't like me and that I don't like him, without being mean or rude or acting weird.
I don't want to like him?
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