Bringing up heavy stuff with a partner or boyfriend/girlfriend?

Anonymous
So, I've had a bit of a traumatic childhood to say the least. My father unwillingly left when I was 3 to serve in the US military in the Iraq War and my mother spiraled down a path of cheating (with multiple abusive boyfriends a year), alcoholism, and drug abuse. Her boyfriends would often engage in sexual or suggestive acts in front of me and my siblings when we were young. I basically fed and raised my brother and my sister. My mother would often verbally abuse me and had a very short, violent fuse, and she made me feel worthless. I was bullied at school too, which didn't make it any better. Unbeknownst to my parents even today, I tried to kill myself several times in middle and high school and I used to cut my arms and thighs. I still struggle with suicide sometimes. Anyway, eventually, my mother got busted with meth at a motel and now I live with my dad. He, my sister, and I all suffer from PTSD, so everyone is always on edge. My sister still loves my mother despite what she did to us, and conspired with her to throw my dad in jail for abuse (which failed because he's not abusive!). My sister also threatened to kill herself and my family. She then got put in a mental hospital for a week, yet nothing changed. She feels no remorse for almost landing my other brothers and sisters into foster care or almost imprisoning my innocent father, who has been nothing but merciful to my mother who racked up over $100k in debt when he came back from war. My mother continues to manipulate my little sister, and I can't stop her, I've tried. I'm smarter and older, so those tricks don't work on me. And that's not even half of my childhood. I'm trying to separate myself from my troubled past, but I feel like it will come up someday with my future boyfriend or partner. I'm not uncomfortable talking about it for the most part (some days it gets me and I've cried in front of my friends), but I'm just afraid it will drive people away. What's your advice? (sorry for rambling...)
Bringing up heavy stuff with a partner or boyfriend/girlfriend?
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