So let me start of by saying I'm a mom myself. I started dating my boyfriend a few years ago and when I met his son (a year younger than mine) he was 4 and still in diapers. Caught me off guard. As time progressed I realized he wasn't behind other kids because something was wrong with him, it was because no one was teaching him anything. Like you know how your mom used to sit you at the table you drew pictures galore. This little boy never did. He drew on his tablet that he had from the age of 2. When he went to Kindergarten I had to teach him how to hold a pencil cause he had no idea. When I met him he also didn't know how to put clothes on. I fought with my boyfriend for a year before he would let me teach him. The reason was his son would cry and my boyfriend would yell at me to leave him alone. He learned when he was 5. He's 7 now, and my boyfriend still gets him dressed. When he was learning how to read, I asked if I could read with him. His son said he hated reading, so my boyfriend told me to leave him alone and that's what schools for, not the weekend. When I insisted we get him his own drawers in the room he shares with my son (he lives with his mom but he has his own space in our home), my boyfriend insisted it was unnecessary. After fighting several times, he finally gave in and his son loves his drawers. When I met his son, he would cry hysterically and reach his hand out for a towel if water got on his face (even a drop on his cheek and he would hyperventilate). After insisting I could help him overcome this fear (I had it when I was his age), he finally let me help him. Now he can take showers and wash his face in the shower. After years of fighting it has become so frustrating. I feel like I'm fighting for a child that isn't mine, whose life I have no say over, but who I fear for constantly. Anytime I even mention that he should let his son do something on his own... BAMM argument. What can I do? I don't want to give up on his son, but I'm tired of fighting for his independence all by myself.