How do I come to terms with I might never have a boyfriend, get married or have children?

I'm 26 years old and never had a boyfriend. At my age their are people that are married, getting engaged or having babies and I'm hating life at the moment and feel so lonely. It also doesn't help that I've never been in a relationship and I am inexperienced. I am average looking, I have a sweet personality and I would do anything for someone I love like family and friends. My only facial flaw is I have a big nose and I am considering rhinoplasty, if thats why I haven't had a boyfriend I don't know. My family says I have a heart of gold, so why don't I have a boyfriend? I do everything solo these days, I have a small circle of friends and that doesn't help because I feel even more lonely and plus I'm an only child too so naturally I am more reserved. Sometimes I feel like I'm never going to find someone.


0|1
424

Most Helpful Guy

  • Sorry but if your 26 and never had a boyfriend that is on you.
    Either your requirements are way out of whack and you need to be more realistic, or your not going after men. You can't be one of these women that "oh, I am traditional and I won't make the first move" as almost all women seem to want to do. You need to go on the offensive. But with POF, Tinder, okCupid and all the other dating sites out there that are free to use, there is zero excuse for not having someone. Sure, it might not be the muscle bound stud (gross) that your looking for, but there are plenty of people out there.

    0|0
    0|0

Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm 28 and I've dated a ton and had plenty of 'seeing someones' etc and short term (like 6 weeks) 'boyfriends' which just don't count but I've never had what I would call a long term relationship... unless u count that thing in my 18-21 thing where we never actually termed it a relationship so I don't think counts. So I'm like 'why can't I find someone?' too.

    I also have a huge conk. I hate my nose in photos so much! But honestly I think we are our own worst critics and I doubt it affects my dating life any more than to the extent that it might bring my own self esteem down,

    But yeah, both of these areas, like u, cause me insecurities. And I've lately started to ask myself if I'm just 'destined to be single'. I'm not worried about children because to me, risking your life and health for a hypothetical person is totally illogical so I don't need a man for that nonsense thankyou very much xD and if I ever want kids I can adopt anyway, plenty of women do that in their 40s even.

    I think the problem is we are all brainwashed into thinking that if we don't do things that society expects us to do, we are somehow failing in life. Where as in actual fact, we don't stop to ask ourselves if its even what we really need? For me, I'd love a partner for the company aspect of things but I realise, I've come this far on my own, without anyone, and that's quite an accomplishment. One we should both be proud of. I won't spout stuff about how we should 'love ourselves before others can love us' tosh, I'm just pointing out that sometimes what we think we want isn't really what we want anyway, its what society tells us we should want. As for the stuff we do actually want, well sometimes its just not meant for us and we have to play the hand we are dealt as best we can...

    0|0
    0|0

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 23

  • I have seen many women in relationships with big noses. I know there are people who would allow a big nose to affect whether they approach the person or not. I have to believe it might be something else besides the nose. I'm an only child as well. It can effect you, but, hopefully, not that much. If you grew up not being around other kids and adults, it would do what you feel being an only child has done to you. What kind of experiences have you had with guys in the past. Did the kids you were around make fun of your nose? That can have a big effect on a person and make you think it's a much bigger problem than it really is. I would like to help you if I can. I'd rather do it on the private messaging because I have questions and the answers will help me understand your situation and give better advice. I do this with a number of women. I will not ask for any of your private information or your name. I know you are "anonymous", so if I don't hear from you, I certainly understand.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I grew up mostly around my male cousins. When I was younger I was considered a 'tom boy' because I would do boyish things like play Playstation and soccer etc with them. There wasn't many girls on my side of the family hence why I would always play with my guy cousins they never teased me about my nose, it was when I started primary school and some of the boys in my grade would call me names like pinocchio, big nose and ugly. I wouldn't let them get to me and I would tease them back. I was the class clown and trouble maker in highschool. There was a little bit of name calling in highschool but by the time I got to vce guys would call me hot and sexy I was happy I was getting attention. My experience with guys in the past has been really bad. One guy bruised me up pretty bad for no reason, he was a friend I used to hang out with. I had one friends with benefits or f buddy relo for a few years he treated me like crap and never asked me out. I did like him but he was a bad boy that has been to jail.

    • I also had so called friends that would vandalise my house because they were dickheads and cruel people from my highschool they knew I only lived with my mum and would vandalise my house. I have had the worst luck with guys and I'm only 26 to have had to deal with all that bullishit how unlucky am I seriously maybe it's best if I stay single. Do guys think I'm a joke or something? Why do they treat me like shit?

    • I'm sorry you have had to go through what you have. I have a small circle of friends and don't bother much with acquaintances because they are usually "so called friends". I believe you have put up a wall to protect yourself from feeling things if there hurtful. I understand this because I went through this sort of thing as well. Once I got rid of that wall, i found myself happier, more open to others and better relationships with people, especially women. Without more background information, I can't go into much more than this. I'm sorry and do want to help. I feel your problem isn't as big as mine was and that I may be able to with more info. Just know that you need to take a very honest look into your life and how you do things when you meet someone you might like, but don't take the risk to open up and give yourself a chance. Until you understand why you have these issues, it's very hard to do anything about them. I wish i could help you more because I can relate to this.

  • Well there's someone out there for everybody... but not everybody always finds that someone... I'm not quite as old as you are but I've never really had a true girlfriend either (I had a long distance but I tend not to count that these days)... but honestly... if you can't find someone to love... then find something to love... that is how you do it... you find something to do that truly makes you happy... and then you go for it... expand upon it... be so engulfed in that that you forget about even wanting to find someone... that's what I'm gonna do whether I find someone or not... but love comes when you least expect it... so if that is true then the more you look and search and want... you won't find it... it comes when you least expect it...

    0|0
    0|0
  • I'm an only child as well which isn't always easy. Are you not very forward? It's not your looks by the way. it's more than likely the way you act such as being shy or not confident. You need confidence which is kind of a catch 22 bc when you find someone you will get confident. have you been on dating websites?

    0|0
    0|0
    • Also I am 38 and would love to have kids but haven't found the right girl even though I've dated a million people. It only takes one guy.

    • I am straightforward I've had only one casual friends with benefits relationship that lasted a few years and I really liked him but he just wanted sex I feel like I wasted my time with him because I was hoping it would progress into a relationship but it never did.

    • anytime you have a friends with benefits it can turn into something and usually does. the guy got what he wanted and was done. Find a good guy. maybe do online dating, be more social and expand your friends which will introduce more guys

  • Listen, even the most fugly of people can find a relationship. It's not hard to find a relationship, not nearly as much as you might think.

    What's hard is finding the right relationship. And the only way you're going to get there is through sheer determination in putting yourself out there, learning a set of patterns, and eventually landing a good match.

    Use dating apps, put yourself in social situations, go where people are in places or events that interest you. Clearly, your small circle of friends isn't going to bail you out of this. All you have to count on is your own courage.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I know what you mean about being an only child. It does make it a little harder to find someone, but if you really want a relationship you'll find one IF you look. You need to be open to dating and kissing a lot of frogs first. It's a numbers game, but eventually you'll win.

    0|0
    0|0
  • My niece didn't find her man until she was 40, plenty of time left to find your guy. He should show up soon but help fate a little by being out there for example on dating sites. Personality wise you sound like a great girl that should deffinately find true love, looks wise i can't judge without a picture.

    What kind of activities do you enjoy doing?

    0|0
    0|0
  • well I have a big nose as well. I have never had anyone pick on my as an adult. as a kid sometimes.

    have you tried to hang out with girlfriend in groups.. always some guy shows up and can strike a conversation.

    you are an only child.. I have this in my life as well. my friends call me OCS (one child syndrome) as a joke
    believe me not a real issue.

    maybe try chatting on line..
    friendly people exist all over.
    you just chat you stop if you are not interesting..
    lol do they have private messaging here? I can even message you. :-)

    0|0
    0|0
  • Everything happens for a reason and at the right time. Don't become so resigned to what you perceive is your fate that you become unreceptive to possible love interests.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Yep, me too, same boat. Though I would like a girl instead. But you should try to learn a hobby or skill. It will help distract you from he crappy shit, and you will have something that people can be curious about

    1|0
    0|0
  • What have you done to meet guys? What places do you go? Have you tried online dating? I don't think your nose is to blame at all, you probably haven't done much to meet guys, and once you do you'll find someone, you sound like you could be a great girlfriend to someone 🙂

    0|1
    0|0
    • I've tried online dating and it's not for me. Majority of guys on those dating sites want is fun. I used to go out all the time before I got into the industry I am in now and I work mostly night shifts or long hours. I've only had one casual friends with benefits relationship for a few years but nothing else after that. I hate feeling so lonely.

    • Show All
    • I didn't want it, it just happend. I was new to the dating seen when we started hooking up. He never asked me to be his misses, I thought maybe he would ask me out eventually but he never did.

    • You could of sat him down and asked him if he sees you as his girlfriend, or just friends with benefits. That would give you a clear answer. Then it's all up to you after, if he doesn't want to date but you do, time to move on. If he does want a relationship, great, now it's out in the open and you both can work towards building the relationship.

  • I was single (the most recent time) right up until just before turning 25. Pay attention to your timeline, not someone else's, just because they are doesn't reflect on what you "should have" accomplished, and looking on at them will just make you impatient.

    Relationships are a combination of putting yourself out there, luck, and patience, even if you're a "catch" it can take a while, especially if you're just sitting around.

    0|0
    0|0
    • So many 20 somethings say this all the time just because their friends happened to run into love at a random bar or have been dating the same person since high school, and the more you compare your luck to someone else's, the more you're going to feel defeated, even though it could have nothing to do with you

  • You don't need to worry about it. As time passes the dating place changes and guy will start looking more for girls like you that want to start families. Also lack of experience never turned away any guy or at least none that I heard of.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I really hope so I don't want to be those 30 something years olds that have never been in a relationship or married and childless.

  • i find it extremely hard to believe you haven't had one encounter with a man and never dated and ur 26

    0|0
    0|1
  • Keaton henson will comfort you and your life journey young grass hopper. once you find the words this artist speaks for you will help you move forward in life

    0|0
    0|0
    • there is multiple love matches for each and every person in this world. your appearance is not to blame but your way of thinking is

  • You shouldn't come to terms with it, be more outgoing, don't expect people to approach you if you want to be in a relationship, approach them yourself.

    0|0
    0|0
    • When I do approach a guy majority of the time they're taken. I have the worst luck in love.

  • I feel the same way, it's all up to chance, some people don't get married till their fifties, sometimes people never do, it just depends if you meet someone compatible and you both find it worthwhile spending the rest of your life together. I wouldn't worry about it, being 26 you're still considered young considering some people live to be 80, I'd say don't worry about it and be open, never helps anything to rush something.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Why do you think you'er still single? List me your reasons and I'd be happy to try answering/helping you!

    0|0
    0|0
  • I don't know only you know the answer to that.

    0|0
    0|0
  • read how to enjoy ur life and job by dale carnegie for a new perspective

    0|0
    0|0
  • Approach a guy

    0|0
    0|0
  • If you want you can message me I'll take a look at you

    0|0
    0|2
  • I feel the same way I'm 19 and only had one girlfriend and i as well get that feeling sometimes

    0|0
    0|0
  • Dear dnt be so depressed.. even i am single child i knw how u feel. but dnt gv up on life.. there are so many people who would love to b with u n spend their life with u.. u will find love soon. jus dnt gv up. life is beautiful live it to d fullest till u hv it..

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 3

  • A lot of us are in the same boat, honey. I mean look at me, I had plenty of boyfriends and here I am single and lonely, being hurt and stabbed in the back so many times I lost count. The "experience" means nothing, all it gave me was a heartache, trust issues and paranoia, so yeah. Sometimes I wish I was like you and never had to deal with all that shit.

    0|0
    0|0
    • But if you want to go through all that shit, you have to lower your standards and give guys chances. And you also have to put yourself out there, to be flirty and open minded, to talk and make yourself noticeable. Wear sexy outfit and make flirty gestures. Don't be afraid to be a little slutty. Also, sometimes you have to approach guys and make first moves!

    • That must of been hard to deal with all that bullshit. The bullshit I have had to deal with is mostly rejection, the guys I go for dont want me yet two weeks later they're in a relationship with someone else. Which hurts me, because then I think is there something wrong with me? A casual relationship that lasted five or six years on and off, he didn't want a relationship with me obviously even though he knew I had feelings for him. I think his the only guy I have ever really liked. I wouldn't say 'love' because we were never together.

    • Yeah I have dealt with same bullshit, both being rejected right at the spot and being dumped after buying all of the lies they were selling me prior. Oh and lets not forget being ghosted and led on, damn those are the best, just makes you wanna jump of the bridge cuz it hurts less, lol! I'm waiting for the guy who's not gonna make me come here to question his actions. Life's a bitch.

  • you are not alone be paitent i am 21 never even had a. potential myself it does worry me but then i see people who have found the right person later on in life and are happy. patience is key and yes it can be quite draining waiting but the more you think and stress yourself about. it the less you will find that person

    0|0
    0|0
  • I feel you, look at my age. No one ever was interested in me and I don't think that will change anytime soon. I think the older you get the harder it is to start dating and meeting new people. It's easier when you are at school, university, college.

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...