Frustrations, please help?

I'm 25 and am temporarily visiting my family in a suburb of NYC to which they just moved; and living at home before I head to law school in a few weeks. I'm really sexually frustrated, I am kinda isolated from friends in Manhattan, and its affecting my mood and life.

Can girls/guys give me any tips on finding a girl to date or hooking up? I don't mind dating a cool girl first but I have needs. I feel girls are flaky and, truly busy, in this area, so its hard to meet up even if I get a number at a bar. Maybe during the day is better? Also is it bad if I'm projecting sexuality? Not in a bad way, I've had sex a bunch of times but this is bad, lol. The thing is I have a ton of free time and I wish I could hang out with a girl during the day, as we have a big nice house, and so on.

I'm obsessing over a gorgeous girl I've known for a while . She has a serious Boyfriend though, and I'm not really contacting her, but, you know..

  • Should I be aggressive in finding a girl for an immediate hookup (how)
    Vote A
  • Should I try and carefully find a girl to date (and how?
    Vote B
  • Should I just relieve the need (by myself) with visuals, hah?
    Vote C
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Most Helpful Girl

  • Wow. We are *utterly* in the same boat. I feel your pain. I moved back home from overseas in a big city at the beginning of the year and the life I live at the moment is pretty isolated too (I live in a small town now and most of my high school friends are back in unis around the world so I only see them sometimes). You know, inaction is the worst thing you can do. You need to keep really busy doing lots of things. I got a job to supplement my studies and spend lost of time working out in the gym, I run errands for my parents, I've tried to get out to meet local people my own age - there's not many of us because the population here is er, ageing, but nevermind. Also I remind myself that it isn't forever - for me its only a yar and for you even less - two weeks. As far as sex goes, where I live there really isn't anyone desirable which is, at times horrible, lonely and terribly,terribly "frustrating", if you know what I mean. There's a guy from my past whom I've developed a bit of an obsession on too who also has a boyfriend as well but I know that if I email him I'm going to regret it the second that I press "send". (but he is gorgeous. Damn.) So, I know how freaking horrible this is. It's crap.

    From a female perspective, I'd say that a lot of girls really aren't into no strings attached sex because they're afraid of getting hurt, the risks are higher for girls both biologically and socially etc. Yet, Some are. Just be honest about what you're looking for first and you;ll be far more successful. You see, a lot of girls are reticent because they are afraid of getting hurt, but of you;re honest with them you;re more likely to find girls who are happy to oblige. Is there anyone you could call on a friend with benefits basis? Otherwise,if this doesn't look like it's going to happen maybe it's time to get more acquainted with yourself. Grab some p*rn or whatever you prefer and get busy. Sorry if that's TMI, but it's realistic. Hope this helps.

    • I'd date them.. it doesn't have to be random sex... p*rn is good, but I miss great sex, and I'm under stress, untill I go to law school, wehre is a good place to meet girls during the day? how about older women like 30s and 40s is that possible?

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • Are you still in the area? lol. I just moved home from college (to a different town) and I have been rather "frustrated" myself. I try to go out with my one girlfriend that I still see from high school but she recently found herself a man and has left me high and dry. Just this Friday I went out with her, her boyfriend, and one of his friends and ended the night without even a single number exchange. I'm modest and not very judgmental but I thought I looked pretty good in comparison that night. If I were a guy, I'd head to a strip club and then fly solo, but as a girl, its just not the same. Good luck both getting laid and in law school ;)

  • My advice is find a bottle of lube, lock your door, and "lessen the frustration" or check out your local strip club or street corner. Easiest way to find a hook up.


What Guys Said 2

  • Okay,

    3 ways you can go on about this.

    1. Dating

    2. Hooking-up

    3. Solo


    Dating, with no romantic intent, is not classified as "dating". No romantic intent means it can either be (sex-for-sex) in which case, it's a hook-up (or whatever name you want to call it). It can also be (sex-for-money) in which case, it's known as (indirect prostitution); which is great if that's what you're looking for. You (the guy) don't feel the guilt & shame of being that much of a loser that you have to actually hire a woman financially in order to provide the necessary motivation for her to sexually please you. Her (the girl) doesn't feel the guilt & shame of being an otherwise useless & unproductive waste of life, that she has to sell/rent her body out to some random man who happens to be the highest bidder at the time; in return for his money that will get her the goods & services she wants.

    If you plan on lying to the girl, and pretending there is romantic intent; well, that's not a great start to your law career.


    There are only one category of men who are truly exempt from ever finding a hook-up. (Ugly Losers). Ugly losers are both ugly, and they're losers. Which means, the girl has nothing to gain sexually, nor anything to potentially gain financially from him. And since she could care less about being with a guy "purely" out of emotions; this guy just isn't hook-up material.

    I don't know what you look like, but hypothetically, even if you're really ugly, you can still trigger the "omg! what would it be like if I was married to a lawyer? my family would be so happy. and my friends would all be so jealous. etc." response. Definitely in the day time, or if at night time, NOT a bar or club. Try a social event, like a lawyers association. As you'll learn in legal ethics, there's a difference in the morality of using someone sexually by pretending to have romantic interest in them (while they had no intention of using you); and there's a difference in using someone sexually & leaving, before they were able to use you financially.


    As you'll also discover in law school; there's no time for relationships, unless you already had a serious & stable relationship prior to law school. Law school doesn't change how you should view girls; as "a series of future economic sacrifices", which is the definition of a "liability". Your resources (time & money) are already committed to school. You simply can't afford to encumber your precious "time" (your effective currency in law school), by using it to maintain a quasi-relationship with a girl who your only intent is to have sex with.

    That's known as a waste of time. You're much better off going solo. It's to the point, it's free, it's fast, and you have nobody else to worry about. Plus, indirectly, you're also limiting the available number of guys that aren't ugly-losers that girls have available to them to have sex with. Good luck; in law school.

  • Man I give a epic tip that works 99% of all time for me.

    Tell girls what they want to hear its that simple if you wanna get laid that is , tell them little B.S and they fall for you or get fooled and next day they ar in your bed .

    Belive me I did this since I was 13 years old and now I'm 17 and it alwaaaaaaays worked for me belive me. and if this doesn't work get a whore but its bad because you have to oay and that sucks.

    Hope you get laid man good luck and remeber the important player tip :)

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