I met this guy on Tinder. I let him know I am not interested in one night stands, he was ok with it. I live in EU, he is from USA & works in military. He is stationed in one of the EU countries close by (3 hour drive).
Chatting was nice, he is interesting. He came to my city to meet me. Complete gentleman. We had a great time. Things got hot, we ended up at my place having the most amazing sex ever. He slept over, was really caring, cuddled a lot. He stated many times he likes me a lot and wants to keep seeing me. Next day we spent the whole afternoon and night together again. He was very affectionate and sweet. He said he wants coming back again and continue dating me. Than he had to go back (work).
We kept in touch. He texted me every day, asking how I am. But only once per day and rarely anything more than "Good day, how are you". Couple of times he suggested some activities we should do sometimes (but not setting a date on it). He doesn't initiate any deeper conversation. He stopped writing adjectives like "sweetheart, beautiful...".
It is been a week now since we last saw each other and he had not asked me out again. Yesterday I wrote him I had a bad day and he never replied (was expecting some compassion). I also noticed he changed his Tinder bio yesterday. :(
I know we are not exclusive, cause it is too early for this. But he seemed interested in me (a lot of statements expressing his affection for me). Now I am not sure if I was overwhelmed by his charm (guys from my country never behave that nice). Or maybe just dating styles are different in USA and in my country? Dont know.
Should I ask him when we can see each other? Should let him initiate a date? Should I only hint I wanna see him again (something like "waking up next to you was so nice. would like to see that again).
Should I just stop talking to him as communication seems fizzling out slowly? (I dont understand why though).
Should I just be straightforward and call him out? Or is it too early?
- Ask him out / to come over0%(0)50%(3)Vote60%(3)
- Let him know it would be good seeing him again (and wait for him to ask you out)100%(1)50%(3)Vote40%(2)
- Stop overanalyzing and just wait for him to ask you out again. dont hint.0%(0)0%(0)Vote0%(0)
- Stop talking to him, he is playing you.0%(0)0%(0)Vote0%(0)
- Let him know he became distant and call him out on it0%(0)0%(0)Vote0%(0)
He also asked me if I am free for a weekend getaway on a specific date. Unfortunately I am not and still gathering my courage to tell him that. :D
So, since my last post couple of things happened:
1. I am trying to be more open and direct about my needs/wishers and also emotions. Figured out I am far more "cold" (or closed off) than he is. I think this is another cultural difference.
2. There are so many cultural differences that I haven't even think about. Sometimes situations are funny, sometimes they cause misunderstandings.
We`ll see how it goes.
Thanks everyone for your input! :)
Most Helpful Guy
I find your suggestion about cultural differences to be interesting because I would say that the behaviors you described are pretty typical of an American guy who is trying to woo a girl. It makes me think back on a question a few months ago where this American girl started dating this French guy and she noted that at the end of the date, she asked him if he was going to walk her home and he said something to the effect of "You're a big girl, you can walk on your own" and I was both humored and shocked. She seemed very convinced that this behavior by him did not mean that he was less interested in her, but I was skeptical. Maybe I shouldn't have been...
That said, with regards on what to do, it depends on what you want. It's very clear that you're just a hookup to him and because it's common for guys to talk like that (I mean, I talk like that to any girl I go out with even if I find her revolting), you shouldn't put too much stock in the things he said. But if you want to continue the hookups, then I would go ahead and be more forward. Just understand that you're probably one of many and it sounds like you're not a very high priority to him. In fact, your text hoping for sympathy sort of shows that to him, that level of intimacy is probably a bit too much.1