Can attraction fade?

Is it possible for attraction to get lesser and lesser even though you are meeting regularly and texting everyday?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Attraction fading away?
    Yeah that happens.
    If it is love love doesn't fade away like that.
    May be sometimes it happens that a person wants attention and is alone (not like loner) so starts to find someone to talk everyday.
    then gets a busy life like you said so they don't have time to spend so They don't think much about person they talked before.
    And thats why it feels to have fading of attraction.
    Another thing is if you like to eat apple and you start eating an apple everytime do you like that much after eating everytime?
    no right?
    so where attraction towards it is gone?
    Not all people fall in love easily they just need someone to talk.
    so ask him if to stop doing all that things for one time which keeps him busy.
    and tell him you won't talk with him during that time too.
    if he thinks he misses you tell him the attraction is not gone anywhere.
    he's just got busy with life.
    I am sure when he will get some time he will miss you.

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    • Understand what you mean, I think there's a new need for striking a balance between his commitments and me and I'll need his willingness to work it out with me, also to know whether he's still attracted I should give him space and opportunity to miss me too. I don't know how to go about it when he's just starting to get busy though, but I'm sure it's possible with the right person who's willing to communicate. Thanks for the input 😊

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    • Thank you! Wish you all the best too

    • thank you too.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes absolutely. That is why relationships ends too.

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    • Then do you think there are certain actions that make the attraction fade?

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    • I really agree and am learning a lot from your words! Thanks a lot!

    • My biggest pleasure <3 Means a lot to me <3

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 14

  • Yeah, it definitely can. What attracted you to them in the first place could slowly become less attractive now. It could be their personality that you start to not like as much as before or could be their looks that start to slowly turn you off. Could be anything really

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    • Seems like relationships are really complicated isn't it 😞

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    • I thought so too but this guy is the kind that hardly meets his close friends because of how much he likes to spend time alone. I'm afraid I don't have such a strong friendship established between us to keep that going. Future looks bleak if I wanna look that way lol 😂 but yea there's many things we can't just force or hope to happen right away and time will tell. I'll need to have more trust in that it'd be okay :) thanks again Sam, it's really a reassuring chat. I've gained some clarity :)

    • Anytime 😁

  • I kinda need to listen to my own advice here, but if you're not dying to meet him/her and feel butterflies it's probably not worth pursuing. Some of that goes away over time, but that's why you always need to be looking for new ways to win their heart.

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    • don't feel butterflies*

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    • This can be risky, but maybe try giving them some space and see if they miss you.

    • Thanks for the advice, I see where you're coming from and have been contemplating how I can do that too. Risky yes, but better than forcefully holding on to someone and smother whatever attraction they have left towards me right? Meantime I can better myself too

  • Yes happens all the time so don't text too much and give each other some alone time so you can both miss each other

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    • I think it's a bit too late for me tho, the guy has alr said that he wants to remain friends. Do you think it's possible to reverse that by spending time alone?

  • it's possible. It happens to people all the time. For me, it's only getting stronger as time goes on.

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    • For me it's like I'd "forget" about the person but all the attraction/whatever feelings comes back when I'm in their company again so it sort of baffles me how it can slowly fade and what would make it fade too

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    • I can't say I've had that happen. My feelings for the person grow when they're away. Do what you guys did when you first got together. It might bring the feelings back

    • Okay understand that, thanks for the advice and the sharing

  • Yes that will happen to everybody that's why its not good to be a fake ass self absorbed piece of shit.

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    • Hahahaha I wasn't one and it still happened though! What has it got to do with that!

  • there's a thing called new relationship energy, look it up

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    • I just checked on wiki, but it's a new term to me.. does it happen to all? Or is it a name for one kind of situation that can happen to people in new relationships

    • I think it happens to everyone in a new relationship. Some people like it so much they keep breaking up with people and starting new relationships

    • Thanks for the explanation. It seem that things can go any way with this depending on the person.

  • It is possible, it's also possible that the honeymoon phase is waning too.

    There's not enough information for me to say anything with certainty.

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    • Hmm we're not actually together is that still honeymoon phase? Actually the situation is that I knew a guy online since a little over 2 months ago and we started exclusively dating soon aft. Our chemistry was great and we find that we can talk about anything with each other and are very communicative with one another also, a trait that both of us really appreciate. However recently he got busy with school that started this week and career talks in the evenings everyday plus gym and he admitted he felt like his attraction towards me has faded a little but he has no idea why. The whole time we were texting every single day and have gone on 4 dates, have kissed and held hands too and we have talked about sex as well. I'm just pretty confused why he'd feel that way and whether I have done anything to cause that.

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    • Thanks!! your response is really quite reassuring and I can feel more at ease with just letting things unfold naturally 😊 all the best to you too!

    • Thank you and I wish you luck! :)

  • Yes. It might be a whole thing with "the same old thing". I have felt like that plenty of times. It's usually when it's hard to keep a decent conversation because there's not much I have in common with people.

    Or you find out more about someone, and find out that you're not liking this new stuff about them.

    Or you start forming this image of them, and they reveal more about themselves, and the image just doesn't live up to your expectations anymore.

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    • Okay, but what about the old stuff that attracted them in the first place? Does the new unattractive things negate that?

      Yea it's always dangerous to make up a false image of people. Guess time will tell

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    • Don't worry, weird it's a compliment for me. :D

      But I hope you either find that spark again, or realize the truth. Everyone deserves to be happy.

    • Ahh that's good then 😊 yea thank you! I too believe that everyone deserves to be happy 😊 and I believe I am strong enough to see the truth (eventually hahahahha) thanks again for your sharing

  • It can but to me towards a girl it won't.

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  • It most certainly can.

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    • Have you gone through that before? What are usual reasons why it'd fade?

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    • Exactly. I wish you success :)

      Please note, however, that if this is only an excuse for him, then it won't work out.

    • Yes I will keep that in mind! Thanks for your well wishes too 😊

  • Attraction diminishes as expectations arise.

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    • What kind of expectations?

    • When someone starts to have expectations towards a person they're acuaintantly attracted to , this diminishes the attraction when expectations aren't fulfilled.

    • Ahhh that's very true

  • yes...

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  • yes its possible

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    • Have you been through it before? Care to share how and why you think it happens?

  • Very capable

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    • Have you been through that before? What would make attraction fade though?

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    • Still a work in progress. I'm a little confused at the moment. Whatever will happen will happen

    • I guess we're on similar boats although on different ends and it'd probably do both of us good to avoid overthinking or over analysing the situation and enjoy the company instead.. thanks and all the best to you

What Girls Said 11

  • Yes but I also feel it can be reactivated by doing something.. Like when someone has a crush and the crush doesn't know you eventually lose your attraction but if that crush kissed you, you'd be right back in the same situation.

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    • How is the attraction lost though? Because there isn't reciprocation?

  • Yes, it happens actually a lot.

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  • Yes, it happens every day.

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  • what kind of attraction are you talking about?

    sexual attraction? cos thats definitely "fade-able".

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    • All kinds of attraction in a relationship, be it emotional or sexual

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    • sexual attraction can fade if i guess the other person just stops taking care of them physically.

      emotional attraction can fade if my partner became extremely needy or become extremely distant from me.

    • Thanks for sharing 😊

  • Yes it can fade to an extent but that's part of the journey where it's not based on physical levels but emotional

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    • Is it like the end of the honeymoon period? Then is it normal for people who has only dated for 2 months

  • Yes it can of course.

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  • You need to see each other in person in my opinion.

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    • You mean instead of texting so much?

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    • Oh. Meanwhile, both my girlfriend and I can't get enough of each other xD

    • Hahahahha good for you two 😊👍🏻

  • Yes, can be possible.

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    • How does it happen? Just suddenly feel turned off by someone without reason?

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    • If I'm in stress, I don't feel like eating, talking, etc much.

    • Ohhhh understand. Thanks for sharing :)

  • Yea it does happen esp if you are not getting the "instant emotional connection" . That's what is most important than just physical attraction.

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    • My situation was that we got the instant emotional connection so fast and so much that both of us feel baffled by it, and then a few weeks later the guy felt that his attraction has faded and I'm just a little more than a friend. It's really confusing and sad how that can happen and it makes me wonder if the emotional connection ever happened

    • I doubt it was emotional connection. If it was, he wouldn't feel his attraction faded.
      Or maybe everything happened really quickly so he step back and maybe is thinking of this whole thing.
      It happens with guys sometimes that when they get caught up in intense connections, they retreat and think over it and analyse the situation and their feelings.
      Maybe he's doing the same. See if he comes around.

    • Yea maybe but I'm also feeling like he's analysing and finding that it's only novelty and the attraction isn't really at that level anymore. Guess I'll find out in time to come

  • Yes for most people it lessens my time and sometimes for some people it has more and more of my time

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  • I can see attraction fading when you do the same thing over and over again, that happened to me. But shouldn't really fade if there was mutual attraction? I don't know sorry if that didn't help haha

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    • Hahaha no don't apologise I appreciate your opinion! What do you mean by doing the same thing over and over again?

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    • Aw no! That's no good :( I hope you meet someone fantastic in the future who isn't a questionable soul haha :)

    • Hahaha ikr~ Thanks! 😊

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