I was a separate bank account from my significant other, what do you guys think?

I want a separate bank account from my boyfriend so my extra money that I work over for can go towards paying things off instead of wasted. But he acts like I'm taking something away from him. He thinks I'm taking away a commitment away from him. May thing is I don't like my $200 extra going to beer and cigarettes, mostly cigarettes. He thinks I'm being unreasonable and irrational. And I think he's just being a self centered ass. Then he acts like I'm putting him down by saying it. What you all think.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Nono don't let his bs foold you. That's his addiction talking so he can get access to more funds

    You are doing the right thing 100% not even a shadow of a doubt. He's your boyfriend not your hubby. And even then id be skepticle

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Most Helpful Girl

  • There's nothing wrong with have separate accounts. If you're not even married why tf do you have a joint account. Even after marriage I know lots of couples that have multiple separate accounts in addition to their joint main account. Your boyfriend is a moron. You should tell him this.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 25

  • I think it's smart to have a separate bank account for each. I would understand if he feels you're being a little untrusting, but if he's mainly using the funds on things that are obviously useless, like cigarettes, then he has no right to feel like you're untrustworthy.

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  • he is an idiot.. let me tell you, I'm married, we both have joint accounts, but her money goes in to her account, my money goes in to my account, we don't touch each other's accounts unless asked. there is nothing wrong with what you're asking for. I see red flags here like he wants to take advantage. on top of that you aren't even married.. stand firm don't do this

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  • Joint account for shared expenses (rent/maintenance, insurance, utilities). Separate accounts for everything else.

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  • This is an important necessity and ground for a break up if not granted/understood w/o blowback.

    Once you gain control over what you earn, know this
    my gal hated cig smoke but not only allowed me, mostly outside, but bought them for me until I made the decision to quit
    bad for kids
    taxes too high
    taking last of pocket change, then large bills all the time
    using up my hands that could be doing other things
    feeling better

    but she bought them out of HER checking acct.

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  • Having your own separate bank account is sound financial sense. As a person who's had a bad experience with a partner cleaning out the joint account I will never again put all of my finances into one place again

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  • 1# Money will not pop out from cigarettes smoke so he need to understand the waste and stop it.
    2# Tell him that you will open a separate acc if he won't stop being irresponsible. Warnings are good and they release you from the responsibility.
    3# If he doesn't agree about terms he need to work to earn those 200 and you will stop working for it.
    4# Cigarettes will not help as much as if their cost goes to something else more useful (say what you're saving money for).
    Good luck.

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  • There should be a joint account for joint expenses such as bills, groceries or vacations together, and both partners should have their own accounts for their own stuff. That said if one of the partners earns less (esp. if it's a lot less) the other one should support them.

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  • Think you need to find a better boyfriend. Unless you enjoy a mam who wastes money on beer and cigs and would spend over $200 on it and he's in his 30s and acts like a child.

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  • Each person should pay their share of expenses (house, utilities, and food) any money after that is their own to spend or save how they see fit.

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  • Yup. break up with him. He seems to be controlling. He gets mad, that he gets less money to spend it on cigarettes and booze. It's a natural reaction, that has been observed in children and let's face it: Nobody likes getting less at their disposal.

    Trust me. It's for the better.

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  • Make a separate account. Save the money. Dont even think about it anymore, just do what I said. You will be glad you did.

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  • Well the way I see it is if he earned that money by working then he can do whatever he wants with it.

    But if he's taking your hard earned money and putting it in that account then that's not right.

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  • Yeah sounds like a perfectly sound thing. But someone who wants cigarettes will go to great lengths to get them,

    Separate bank accounts can actually be very healthy

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  • No ring; no joint account.

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  • You should be entitled to have a separate bank account
    i support you 100 % on this idea. I think joint accounts
    just created arguments. I think a couple are better off
    having separate banking accounts. If i had a girlfriend
    or wife i would support having a separate bank account.

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  • Im guessing you both live together ms?

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  • You have every right to want to keep control of your own money. I had a joint account once and I fucking hated it.

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  • I agree with you 100% I would only have a joint account after marriage and even then I would probably not do it.

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  • I insist on it in any relationship. Never had a joint bank account with anyone and never will.

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  • how about we go over your expenses then figure out the $10-20 a day housing, insurance, vehicle costs, taxes on house, child care, clothing,
    food, etc. where your $200 (a week I'm seriously hoping) goes.. lets not for get the entertainment costs.. (my dad drank an easy $200 a night,) what's that look like for the 2 of you?

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  • You are correct, donot listen to him

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  • You're completely justified in having a separate account for the reasons you stated

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  • I think it’s smart to have separate accounts.

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  • Yeah, you're putting him down by saying it. And saving $200.

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  • Who's place is it and who pays all the bills?

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What Girls Said 11

  • Me and my partner have already decided when we buy a house we will open a joint account. Into that we will put mortgage, bills, etc payments into it.
    We will keep some in personal accounts for ourselves. When it comes to savings we haven't decided yet whether to keep separate or combine.

    We both want to spend money on very different things and that's okay. But it should be the money we make, not money we take. Money we make is to spend how we choose. We still spoil each other when we can but it's not to fund habits as you've mentioned.

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  • He's probably thinking you are using an account for secret money, but you are wise to want to have your own account. Just so that he's not feeling as though you are stashing away money to make a sudden dash to Jamaica, you can just tell him it's a savings account that you can't easily take money from (dinged with fees if you try), or something so that he understands that you are saving and not taking it out.

    If you both bank at the same institution it makes it easier if you have to move money around. If he has his own savings, and you have yours and it's on one main account, then you both can see what's going on with your money online - but have the accounts set up where you can't transfer funds online. Then you can pool the rest of the money together in one account for your bills and living expenses.

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  • He's probably mad because he was used to having access to your money to feed his habit. Like what some of the guys have stated here already, I would suggest you not only find someone better, but in the future, keep your bank accounts separate unless he puts a ring on it.

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    • Even when you're married it think it makes sense to still have your own spending accounts. Joint accounts are for joint expenses.

  • I definitely believe in separate bank accounts, even if both people are responsible with money. Even for a married couple I think it's good for both people to have separate accounts in addition to a joint account. It's just ridiculous to have a joint account with someone you're not married to. YOU earned that money and he has no claim on it legally or otherwise.

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  • if he's using it for ciggies and all, i think you have a valid point.

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  • I think it's silly NOT to maintain separate accounts... sounds to me like he's a bit of s sponge and that's why he's upset. It is absolutely NOT unreasonable for you to want to keep your post-bills cash instead of letting him blow it on junk.

    My boyfriend and I set up a joint account when we moved in together that we both pay a certain amount into each month and our shared bills come out of. Apart from that we both maintain our own individual bank accounts. It's works nicely.

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  • Make a separate account. That $200 shouldn't go into that joint account for beer and cigarettes.

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  • It works out if you both agree,
    My sister has her own account than her husband but her account is for saving, and she uses another for spending on her stuff, but whatever money goes to saving, she doesn't touch. Meanwhile his accounts are for paying bills.

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  • Its a good idea, my parents have separate accounts and still help with bills. I have my own account and my boyfriend has his. Its just another way to avoid getting into pointless fights about money.

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  • You only have 1 checking account and it's joint?

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  • Nope. You're being reasonable. Don't date a smoker. It's gross, and expensive.

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    • As an ex smoker, I have a bit more empathy for people who are stuck in that addiction- it's hard as hell to quit. But it's his sense of entitlement toward HER money that is bullshit. Agree that she is the reasonable one here.

    • I am one too.

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