How would you feel if the girl wanted to pay for dates and such?

Not like in an overbearing "I must pay!" way... but more like, she always offers and sometimes pays for you anyway because she wants to... and what about if she sometimes gets you gifts or buys you food that she knows you like or asks you before she gets food so she can get you something? I know, odd question. XD


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Hesitant.
    That whole moment is painful even if it's me paying with no contest from her.

    In principle it's fine, I'm sure it could be nice. In practice however, it's a minefield.

    If I could be convinced that you actually like me and are *totally* cool with paying and want to do it then that's when it's fine. The problem is that for every girl like that there's at a girl who is willing to pay but if the guy doesn't offer first then she's pissed and it's a dumpable offense. Then there's the girl that will offer to pay but not really because on the inside she will insist that you, as a guy, should always offer and should overrule her even when she offers. Not to mention the girl that simply straight up expects a guy to pay. I truly wish that we could just let girls pay half the time and not fuss about such crap, but the safest route is to always offer and be insistent as a guy and it's super annoying. Dare I say I'd prefer a time when a guy would just pay and that was that, it'd be simple and we could be honest with each other. Instead girls have to play these games where guys only have one real move anyway. It's a silly dance. It's jumping through hoops. I'd love to not have to jump through hoops but there doesn't seem to be enough of the sort of women that are straightforward, honest and are *completely* cool with paying in order for me to feel comfortable not paying for a date. And all this being understood, it makes me kinda annoyed when I do pay, no matter what the circumstances. I just don't want to deal with such crap.

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    • so what if they just payed? like, no issue with you having to offer or anything. No requirement to pay her back. She just wanted to pay for you from the get go and it wasn't arranged previously. Like, say you're going to a movie. she's in front if you in the line and she just instantly pays for both tickets. she even smiles at you when you look at her strangely and offers to pay for snacks too.. in a genuine way.

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    • i see. XD I honestly do this with all of my friends and probably would do the same if I dated. i just wanted to get different perspectives. it's the person that I am. I think it's a way of showing affection, but I tend to legit just show up with food.. and I did at one time buy a movie ticket for my male friend (that I had a crush on -_-) without asking and then said I'd pay for popcorn and drink as well. I almost always pay for my friends' food, movie, sometimes even clothes or such.. and I will also buy food and videogames for my little sister.. if I have the money.. I don't know why, but I just have this feeling of wanting to over-indulge anyone that I have affection for- friend, family, or other. So in short, I was curious haha

    • why tho because i do this a lot and he told me i thibk i run the relationship n he feels i feel im too good for his money but im not. i just like to cater to my guy i want him to feel my love n appreciation for him

Most Helpful Girl

  • Its not even about how guys feel, its how other girls make you feel if your guy isn't paying for you. Luckily I no longer care about societal standards and I have a mind of my own so I know if I want to pay then its no big deal, but still js. If anybody was wondering, girls are most impressed if the guys actions can also impress other girls.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 72

  • i would be flattered :D

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  • To tell you the truth I wouldn't mind it. If she wants to buy me gifts and food, because she wants to. I'll allow it, same thing if I want to. I do nice things for people because I want to, not because I'm expecting something in return.

    I think people sometimes make a too big of a deal of who should pay what and when.

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    • i feel exactly the same way :) what should it matter if someone wants to pay sometimes.

    • But if a girl doesn't want to pay for whatever reason. I'm not going to complain. I'm fine paying, I'm nice that way. I just don't want to feel like I'm being taken advantage or anything, but communication is key in relationships.

  • I'd think she was a girl who is prepared to contribute to the relationship. Definitely someone who's gonna last long- term.

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    • I'm glad I'm hearing positive things as well. XD honestly, I do this for my friends and would probably do so in a relationship as well... it's just the kind of person I am. perhaps it's an odd way of showing affection? I don't know, I just wanted to know if people are okay with it

  • well i wouldn't let her spend on me but sometimes she might buy gifts and stuff without letting me know so i have to accept it. but i would never let her pay if im around

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    • i see. yeah, some people are like that. thanks for your opinion.

  • Not odd at all!

    As somebody that believes in true equality, the act of chivalry is all but dead and a woman offering to pay for a night out or buying gifts would be just as welcome as a man doing the same.
    I say this sort of behaviour should be progressive and more the norm.

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  • That's perfect. You can stop worrying about being used for your money/free meals, which is a concern for most men when dating.
    I would still offer to pay anyways, but I'm happy when she offers. Getting small gift is nice too, but not necessary. Gifts aren't really what I need to feel cared for and loved, but they're always appreciated, obviously

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  • Equality is great. It would say a lot of good things about your character.

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    • really? :) yay! another nice comment ☺😊

  • Seems pretty normal to me, so any girl I've met who has expected the man to pay for everything I didn't bother seeing them again. The only time I'm gonna pay for everything is if she's not working because she's staying home to look after our children.

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  • Even at your age we all just shared what we had. There was no yours or mines. Everytime we met we just combined the what we had and did whatever we wanted to do lol. Things were easy when you're young

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  • I always try to pay for first dates, regardless of what we do or what it costs. I just think that's what a gentleman does.

    With that said, I like it when a girl offers to split the first date. And I also love it when she insists on paying for some of our subsequent dates, even if it's not 50-50. It makes it feel like we've got a partnership going when we're both contributing.

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  • My jaw would hit the fucking cobblestones.

    I would most likely wander home in a daze, thinking it was a dream or a hallucination.

    Oh, and I'd start quietly shopping around for engagement rings.

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  • I think the woman shouldn't pay for the first few dates, because there's a myth out there that if a girl pays for the date she doesn't like you, so I'd be a bit worried if she insisted on paying for our first or second date.

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  • Wow... in my opinion every girl should be like this. I would most likely pay in the end out of respect, but I think all girls should at least offer to pay for dates. It's only polite and I wouldn't feel used. If someone doesn't even offer to pay on a date, I would probably not continue it much longer.

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  • it wouldn'tbe a big deal, but on the other hand I was raised that the man is suppose to pay, just like. man holds the door open for the lady

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  • I'd be fine with it. But I'd make sure she knew I would be willing to pay. And if she ever tried holding it over my head I'd remind her that she requested it

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  • It wouldn't bother me at all. As long they both have money, one of them can pay. Equality is a good thing.

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  • I wouldn't mind. It might get a bit weird if she ALWAYS paid for EVERYTHNG, but in general I would appreciate it, especially if she made a lot more than me.

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  • It's awesome when things go both ways. In my ideal relationship I would like it if we both took each other out on dates.

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  • a relationship is 50/50. including food. if she asks me to get her food since I'm out I'll pay. but if we're doing whatever and she's like i got this. that's OK. as long as ur not a bum

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  • Sure why not
    My girlfriend sometimes pays and she sometimes gives me gifts
    She noticed my keyboard is a total crap and she got me a good mechanical razer one. Incredible gesture i liked it a lot.

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  • NEVER on the first date. But yeah sure if she offers. Either way it wouldn't matter because you can just grab the next one.

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  • flattered though if it was a date then a bit of this isn't some sort of test is it i'm perfectly happy not to pay (not one of those no ill pay pepole ) but i know some women do that?

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  • I would let her. Not all the time but sometimes bc it is a sweet gesture and I dont feel that men should ALWAYS have to pay for every date or little affectionate thing

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  • she is a keeper and will make some man or woman lucky

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  • It's normal that girls treat back after the first couple dates.

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  • I expect the girl to pay for about 50% of the expenditure of dating, if she wants me to pay for a disproportionate amount of things, Im out.

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  • I'd be flattered. But only if she genuinely wanted to pay and not because she felt like she had to.

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  • I'd enjoy not having to spend money. but would also be appreciative of it and thank her

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  • That would make me happy. I like progressive women... meaning, I like women who:

    -Pay for their own stuff
    -Don't mind splitting the bill on the date
    -Don't mind paying for me

    It shows that she has her own. is not after my money and that she cares about my wallet.

    I'm currently seeing a woman like this. Sometimes I will pay for the entire date. Sometimes she will pay for the entire date. Sometimes we will split it. We talk beforehand to see where our budget is and we plan accordingly.

    That's how it should be.

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  • I would be really happy, but I would probably still insist on me paying

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What Girls Said 10

  • this is totally me all the time i never let him pay we fight at windiws n dtores over this lmao becuase he use to females using him.. i feel kinda weird gettin gifts from him because i love to cater

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  • Meh.. not a big deal. I was going to pay sense I ask my boyfriend out first but he was very sweet and paid for me anyways. Aww <3

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  • I have been the one who has paid for dates ( his and mine) on the last couple of guys I have seen. I would love to meet a guy that pays his own way!

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  • I always pay.

    He hates it, but most times he can't afford to pay for me and now and then not even for himself.

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  • I pay a lot of the times cause I love to splurge on him : )

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  • i think the person would appreciate it

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  • Awkward after awhile

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  • I tried that once and the guy was mad at me. He felt insulted as if I emasculated him

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    • Well that guy is an idiot. He probably thought it was a "friend zone" move but even if it was... it's the best way you can do it.

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    • I called her out on it a few months later when we started talking again. We actually got together for a while longer but she was STILL a gold digger. She complained about how she had a very controlling boyfriend (who bought everything for her) for a while. Well that's what you get when you sell yourself.

    • @somewheresomeway oh gosh πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  • its a trap! its a trap! these dont happen in this universe.
    but in all seriousness that would be insulting for the man and even the woman deep down would look down on him... .

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    • Please dont EVER talk for all women ever again.

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    • yeah seriously, if women are going to look down at men because they dont want to pay for you all the time, that just shows how money hungry women are and how much they love to hide behind their vagina

    • I hope to God the OP isn't a "feminist"

  • So like when the hell are people gonna stop asking this same dam question. Simple who ever ' set the date is paying problem solved !

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    • But men set the date 90% of the time so... that's not fair at all

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    • @bekkesmash both sides are now too scared of rejection these days.

    • Yet men still do the overwhelming majority of the asking.

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