Do guys like it when a girl is independent?

Independent as in she doesn't always want to do things with you but has her own set of hobbies , her own friends. Not the clingy type at all

How do guys feel about it?

I feel like its a turn off because the guys I've dated dont seem too fond of it and my female friends who love doing everything or a lot of the things with their siginifcant other are in serious and loving relationships.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • define independent !
    there is a huge difference between an independent mature woman and an independent wild woman, first one can raise him up and would make life easy for him and even be his happy life partner, while the other type can drive him crazy, keep him confused and break his self esteem and make his life a living hell since in her opinion she doesn't need a man to complete her, and usually this type are the ones with daddy issues or early life stage heart broken, they look like a wild horse gorgeous, independent and full of life so she attracts you then she drops you of her back and break your neck !

    respect and honesty comes first in relationship, independence is a bonus feature !

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think it takes finding the right person who is ok having basically separate lives and coming together when suitable and knowing when independent becomes distant and aloof so they can reconnect.

    Personally it's not for me, I love doing things with my spouse and though we spend so much time together all of its treasured.
    But we have a friend couple and they're like this... it genuinely baffled me that they could do so many things separately and enjoyed being alone so often or doing bigger things with friends instead of each other.
    But they're so happy, they've been together almost 10 years and even marriage and a baby hasn't changed their independence. It's just what they need and they're completely fulfilled by it even though I can't personally relate to it - it works!
    Just have to find the matching person who feels the same way

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 25

  • When a woman is independent it means she has a certain level of healthy pride that comes from being without guilt or shame of yourself, and with a healthy type of love for yourself.

    This is actually the best state a person can be in. If a person isn't attracted to this, they are NOT in this state. A person can be attracted to a woman and not be in this perfect state of mind, but a person who not attracted to this type of woman will NEVER be in this state... ANYWAYS...

    once a woman realizes she's her own person despite what society or people friends even family tells her she "should" do and she starts doing what she wants to.. that's a pretty rare type of person and that woman has a beautiful soul.

    SO Of course I love that.

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    • Yes compatibility you mean right? Both have to be in a similar state. Clingy or independent. I'm sure an independent man/woman wouldn't prefer the clingy woman/man, and vice versa.

    • @Asad1ONE1 Hmm.. not to say clingy... per se... just without personal development (Will call that WPD)
      So a person WPD may or may not be attracted to independence.
      An independent person may be attracted to a WPD person

      BUT a person who is in that certain state of mind will not find any disguise or unattractive for another person of the same state... and so if yo find someone unattracted to them, then you know they are without personal development

      Not that, it's always bad...

  • Well... It's pretty simple really. Do I like having some alone time? Yes. Do I like to hang out with a couple of friends? Yes. I love it when my girl is independent, it shows that she won't use me as a crutch for anything and I won't use her as a crutch for anything but we both can support each other if needed.

    Sure it may not sound as loving or intimate, but at the same time it doesn't feel suffocating.

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  • Nope. I like a girl who's happy and content with other projects, interests, hobbies etc. I'm a busy person who wants to do stuff with someone but not be their reason for getting up in the morning. I don't want to have to text every hour about things because she's not doing anything and needs to be entertained.

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  • What you wrote about yourself sounds perfect. I like it. Although no two guys are the same I think that most guys will like it.

    I had a friend who had the same problem. But in her case I can clearly tell she is attracted to macho guys that want a woman to be very dependent. So that type of guy was the only type she would meet.

    I don't know you of course but could that be the same in your case?

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  • If you just mean she has her own life, then yes lol. I prefer that, because I want my relationships to augment my life. Not replace it

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  • sometimes its nice when a girl asks for help doing something that she can't do and needs a guy to help her with like opening a pickle jar or reaching for something on a tall shelf. it make ya feel like a man you, dig? But when a girls asks for too many favours, then all i want is a independent girl who doesn't ask for favours and leaves me the F alone. As for having your own life, good! i like to have my own life too. being independent is playing it safe.

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  • Yes. But not distant and asexual. I want intimacy and emotional connection. But. I kike financial independence. If you like that marry me.

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  • For me, I like an independent woman but at the same time like you said earlier, I do enjoy, appreciate, and Love a woman more that does a lot of things for the me (I would the same for her and more) plus I would definitely keep her as my lady.

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    • @lila4u Sure, here is my email as well kreneman835@gmail. com

  • A lot of guys will tell you that they *love* independent women. Most of them are lying. Most guys get insecure af with strong women. They need to be needed.

    When they aren't as much, they start low-level freaking out in a way that might not even be conscious.

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  • I certainly like it

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  • I'd say only if the guy was independent as well! Were the guys you dated have their own set of things to do without you? How would you feel if that were the case? Both have to be similar! Either clingy or independent. Compatibility.

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  • HELL to the YES!!!

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  • Sure. I don't want to be the only competent one in a relationship.

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  • You should have a balance of own and couple activities/interests

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  • well, i do want a girl who would want to to do everything with me

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  • Independent girls are my muse

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  • I will like a independent girl. I think they will be better companion and mutual respect and love amongst them will be strong.

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  • I love independent girls

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  • i feel great about it

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  • indepence in a relationship is awesome if you have the same goals. however if your goals are different and dont communicate well it can be your worst nightmare.

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  • You should leave space for each other, for a sucessful relationship

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  • i want her to have her own life but i do not want it to take priority over our life together.

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  • i love it when a girl is independent!!!

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  • yes they do

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  • Yes, independent, cuz i am independent and i don't give a fuck.

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What Girls Said 5

  • From what I hear guys actually like that a girl isn't too clingy and still likes to do things on her own.

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  • Yes guys love an independent woman regardless. But always have a balance with the things you wanna do like hanging out with girls, doing your own thing.. and let him also have his freedom. This way he can see your happy without him and that makes him miss and want you more. Keeps the feeling mutual !

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  • they will say yes but mean no

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  • The guys that I dated like that I'm independent

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  • My boyfriend does

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