How would you handle someone who just can't get over that you're in a relationship?

Now this isn't happening currently but this has happened to me in the past, where some guy I used to talk to or who barely gave me the time of day suddenly wants to pop back up in my life and "get at me." I won't be specific about who it was (not that any of you would know lol) but to save details, but I've had guys who went from being a casual guy I sort of spoke to, to someone I barely knew in high school who suddenly became determined to get with me, only to be shocked/disappointed to find out that I'm taken. They ask to be friends, but continue to flirt and talk about how they wish they could have been with me, they try to push sexual conversation, or even try to ask me out or ask me to see them privately without telling my boyfriend. I always try to be rational with them but they often disregard it or get frustrated which leads to be getting snippy back.

Note: yes, I end up blocking and deleting these people. The only reason I ask this Q is because a friend of mine inspired me when I thought back on my personal situations and I wonder how other people would handle it. So what would you do if someone you knew couldn't get over you being in a relationship and still tried to get with you?

Updates:
What's with all of the people giving the most random answers today?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • After a certain point, I'd be fairly bold and forward to them. If you've tried rationally talking to them and nothing is working, then your best bet is to just be as bold and as upfront as you can. They might consider this hostile, but you've tried any and all ways to get them to back off. Ignore their messages after awhile and block them from any and all social media. Hopefully, they don't know where you live πŸ˜…. Either way, try isolating yourself from them first and the if that doesn't work, be upfront with them and then isolate them from your life. Calling the police can be a solution if they're being creepers.

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    • Luckily none of them got that intense. Though one I was worried about, luckily he didn't know where I lived but he knew where I worked.

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    • Long story short: he was this creeper, mentally unstable dude my sister was friends with who was claiming he was in love with me since I was thirteen. He was... weird. Found me on FB and I barely remembered him, claiming all kinds of crazy shit. Idiot me has my company name on my personal FB profile. I blocked him and luckily nothing became of it.

    • Yeah, usually it never gets to the point where you have to call police. The option is there though.

Most Helpful Girl

  • From my perspective, what's afoot is simply a combination lock that is not in sync, e. g. when they are "taken" they are aloof then when shopping again and you come to mind as candidate #1, they enter the denial phase of disaster. To their credit they are not the feather another nest before dumping the one in the present nest onto the rocks below.

    No one has enough friends, so... if they have behave themselves as friends, not romantic flirts... they may stay. Sometimes the boyfriend has to remind them with intimidation this etiquette to remain in contact.

    Otherwise, it's best to realize that some candidates for The One are simply on another ocean liner, different schedules so are just passing by and to be enjoyed as only that.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 33

  • Interesting, never happened to me personally but I've heard stories similar to this concerning people I know.

    What I would is at least be civil at first, I've generally no reason to be aggressive at any point. Should it escalate, I'd warn them and stand my ground. Any further, I'd simply cut them off like tumor, it's clear they don't really care about how you feel, only about how they themself feel.

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  • I let them think what they want until it get's intrusive and stalker'ish.

    At which point they'll be savagely put down, with a list of reasons why I don't want to know them. At that point any manners or "niceness" go out of the window.

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  • "The only reason I ask this Q is because a friend of mine inspired me when I thought back on my personal situations and I wonder how other people would handle it. So what would you do if someone you knew couldn't get over you being in a relationship and still tried to get with you?"

    what i would do?
    Exactly the same as what you did lady RJ.

    "I always try to be rational with them"
    "I end up blocking and deleting these people."

    Except i never had a girl being so clingy to me like you described those guys are. There were only some debile and very annoying females in high school, who went on my nerves a lot and disturbed me and played some inappropriate pranks on me, so that i simply ghosted on them entirely and never gave them any attention. I haven't seen them anymore 😀

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  • I would block and/ or ignore them mostly out of respect for my current relationship but also because I don't need that kind of drama in my life.

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  • i never had that situation before, but i would try to resolve it peacefully, but if she tries to force it, especially the part of sexual conversation, i would be straight blunt and rude to her, and do the same, by blocking her from every social media

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    • Yeah that's pretty much what I do too lol. I always end up hurting somebody's feelings.

    • sometimes you have to be rude and hurt someone's feelings when they are being a asshole to you, besides, you are always gonna disappoint anyone, So fuck it !!! lol

    • you are always gonna disappoint somebody*

  • I Ignore them and just walk away if they continue being like that.

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  • Cuz some girls will dump the one they're with to go with one better. The one coming on to you doesn't know your current boyfriend so there's no reason to suspect he is better or worse.

    Google this: hypergamy

    Girls will fuck anyone they want any time they want. Just ask 'em!

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  • Telling them to "fuck off"

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  • Tell them directly

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  • They are not respecting your choices, hence they are choosing to be people who just buzz around you, not your friends. I know it sucks at first, but you have to ignore their existence.

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  • "bugger off". How's that sound?

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  • put a end too it right away

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  • Just ignore them.

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  • ignore them and rub it in their face <3

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  • I used to consider helping them get a partner so they would be happy and leave me alone themselves. But now that I'm just sick of the thought of people abusing my nice attitude, I at least inform close friends and maybe officials so I don't have to worry anymore. This is because when I didn't care once, the girl just went along and stalked me, of which I only became aware of due to the solidarity of male classmates who actually didn't like me but at least warned me of that weird girl.

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  • False.

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  • It's stupid male hormonal competition and it sadly has gotten the best of all of us once. Move on they are being stupid

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  • Hire some people to threaten him and tell him to fuck off , that's how I'd do it anyways...

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  • Is this real, why would someone do that to u

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  • Move on

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  • kill them

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  • Just do you and dont let anyone ruin a good thing with your man. they are probably so afraid to let go they dont know the other compatible people out there for them

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  • Why do you feel you need to deal in a different way?

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  • To your updated opinion... i guess it's the solar eclipse lol

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  • Tell them you had your chance but don't care

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  • you can't blam them you are hot and beautiful

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  • move on find a man who knows how to treat s lady that you deserve

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  • You look dominantπŸ˜€

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  • kisierakonosertemas mam8

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  • I like u

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    • I don't know if you figured out by my question but I have a boyfriend, pal. Lol.

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What Girls Said 11

  • One of my exes was like that. We dated about 7 years ago, the relationship was short, and he dumped me out of the blue via text message at 4am. Long since moved on.

    About two years ago he tries to pop back into my Facebook messages to tell me how breaking up with me was a terrible decision, he still loves me, has pictures of us from our relationship, etc. I tell him bluntly that I have a boyfriend and I'm not about to end my relationship at all.

    But for the past 2 years he keeps messaging me. I block him, he makes another account. I just ignore his messages now. Hopefully one day he'll get the hint.

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  • I only have a situation about my friends. She broke up with her ex who she talked for awhile. Then her ex try to keep the relationship, bother her for some period. He see that he can't bring their relationship back. He agree with her to be friend. She was okay but since then she blocked him...

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    • @RJGraveyTrain Do you know why she block him?

    • I still don't understand. She still doesn't talk to him. It 4 years now too much for a happy ending relationship. Nowaday she still complain about him to her friends...

  • ignore them.

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  • I would make it very clear and stop contact with him, you're doing all the right things however its just plain rude and disrespectful on their part.

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  • I'd tell them to leave me alone. If they don't, block.

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  • i just ignore them after explaining gently

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  • I honestly can't tell you what it is but when it rains it pours! I have been single for years but when I have one guy chasing me there are another two after me as well. Its a strange phenomenon that happens to many, my only suggestion is to completely cut those people out which you have done. Good luck!

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  • Them thirsty M effers. Yeah they don't care about you. Just block them

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  • I block them; make my voice strict; scold if they piss me off.
    I don't like anyone pressuring me to change my decision: in this case pressuring me to keep repeating myself that I am in a relationship/

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  • I would ignore them or avoid making contact with them.

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  • Depends on how they are handling themself

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