I ask these questions because people always talk about and at black women, but never to or with us without being overly critical or douche about it. Since it seems people always have something to say why say something that helps instead of tears a group of women down for once. (Recently came across a GaGer with some dumb mess to say.)
What did they tell you about their experiences?
What have you learned?
Did you give advice in a friendly way?
What was that advice?
What could a dark skinned Black woman do to improve her position in the dating world?
What could she wear that you think would make her look amazing in your eyes?
Most Helpful Guy
I haven't but I've read a bunch of experiences online. I try to do my best to keep as up to date and understanding about social issues as I can. I feel like it's best for humanity to try to understand each other and most of us have access to the internet so it's easier than ever before. There's no excuse for ignorance nowadays. There was a time that people could claim not to know better but I buy that less and less as time goes on.
One of the major issues I've discovered from doing research is how pervasive colorism is around the world. Beauty standards don't favor dark skin especially as a result of colonization. Another problem is black women aren't painted in a good light throughout the media and entertainment. They paint the picture of having an attitude or being difficult to deal with when in reality everyone is an individual with individual personalities. The problem with this is that it kind of makes it so if you defend yourself you're immediately seen as having an attitude so you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.
There's also the problem that if you find a guy who is interested he might treat black women like a fetish and dehumanize her. There's an extra layer of screening involved in order to protect yourself.
This is why the women that don't fit into eurocentric beauty standards who can still look in the mirror and think they're beautiful are all the more admirable to me. I think there's an added layer of strength there because the world of beauty isn't kind to women to begin with.
That's all I really have to say. I saw the exchange you had with someone who seemed pretty misguided so I had all of this in my mind and I'm glad you gave me a place to spew it all out.1