What objective reason is there for men to pay for dates when modern women earn as much money as men do?

Other than "tradition," please.

What objective reason is there for men to pay for dates when modern women earn as much money as men do?

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What Girls Said 33

  • Why are people still bitching about this on here? You don't wanna pay, then don't. The girl expects you to pay, then don't ever see her again, you wanna split or go dutch then do it. Omggggg shocking new facts, right? Smh.

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    • The only problem being that most girls are like that and are not inclined to change anytime soon, apparently.

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    • It's more about are you like that? And if you are, this type of question is suppose to change your mind about asking guys to pay...

      The question, will you adjust and change that or will you still demand that guys pay for you?

    • Men should just stop dating women and stop being walking dildos for women.

  • Sex. We can do that ourselves and, frankly, better than a man sometimes. Because she can probably have sex with any guy she wants, why not get some added perks?

    Seriously though. We all know you want to have sex with us ultimately, but we don't know how quickly you want it or if that's all you're interested in. If a girl is serious and looking for a serious boyfriend, she is going to want to see if you will invest in her. Whether that be time, effort, or monetary material things. Girls that just want hookups rarely complain about paying or splitting bills --if you even go in a date, because they know that is what it's about and there's no need to determine interest. As a new suitor, with unclear intentions, you are on her time. She is letting you prove your interest. She can easily pay for the date, but if you just want sex, she essentially is paying for her own sex. Yes, sex is bought--but not just with money. It is bought with effort and time and trust. Those things come after she can tell you are serious and have taken sex from the equation-atleast until there is a real connection.

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    • Doesn't that make her a prostitute of sorts?

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    • Still can't argue that I'm wrong though. Women...

    • @Tasos96 πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  • I keep saying this over and over again. It's about investing. Women need's actions NOT WORDS. His actions show's if he is investing in her or not. NOt buying her time. Or buying her. A lot of men are overall selfish and what want they want which is basically sex. A woman in her selfish often want's either money or his material possessions he's willing to offer and sacrifice for sex and her time. But when you come across a woman who just wants a man in her life and want to start a family with her and get married, he doesn't want it nowadays, unless sex is exchanged. Outside of marriage, dating goes against the woman. But because marriage can be against the men, now it is a power struggle. If you don't want to change then don't expect women to change either. You put on the table what you want to put on the table. If make my promises for marriage, etc. I mean what I say and I expect no less than what I am willing to provide. I don't need cheapskate, and neither would I do that to that person.

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    • I like this reason, it makes sense

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    • @SuperEunuch Then what explains it to you in your own words? I'm not going to say anything to fit your fancy. What are your intentions for dating and asking women out? What is it? And why? Women need's answers through actions as I said before. If you can't provide that, then why ask random strangers instead of being friends and then see if romance is possible? Because if all your thinking is having a sexual relationship is getting you anywhere, then you're wrong.

    • Are you saying that women will only have sex with me if I pay them or something?

  • Not much.
    But, like with most other dating 'norms' (like who is interested in getting physical, who is 'allowed' to initiate the relationship, etc.), people love getting stuck in justifying shit that doesn't even make sense NOW for no reason other than 'well.. because that's how it's always been done'.

    The herd mentality and failing to question norms is a truly fascinating thing.

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    • You seem like you might be a very interesting person :)

  • Modern women doesn't earn as much money as men do, that's very far from the true (in my country at least).
    It's said that the one who ask the date pay and like only men ask for date, they happen to pay most of the time.
    In my country though I know that a lot of guys pay just because they want to have sex quickly and think the girl would give it to them faster if they pay on the date. This obviously doesn't work.

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    • What country is this?

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    • Can you tell me one job you know for a fact it's that way (name of the company) because all the economic studies i have read speak of the money gap... it's real. But as to why it's has nothing to do with someone trying to pay less, rather it's simply put "a tendency in mens chosing higher paid jobs" and nothing more. If not, take this into acount.. if society it's that shitty and people so f**ers then every company would try to only hire or at least 90% womans, because if its like you said, they work the same and you can even paid them less! thats heaven for any company manager

    • @Arcari I can tell you for a fact it's true since I've worked as a secretary for some company and I had access to all the personal information of the employee as well as their pay check, I had access everything and women were paid less (most of the time).
      You won't find anything on internet (why would they put their personal info on internet, seriously? think of it.)
      They can't hire 90 % of women because they have to respect the gender equality or some stuff like that (50 % women, 50 % men) though the society I worked with were mainly women with men boss.
      As for the name, it's forbidden in my country to say it in public because it can harm the reputation of the company. On this one it's either you trust me or you don't. Just know that 96 company in France have been recognized of paying women less than men, the name was never give in public since it's forbidden to do so.

  • You ask, you pay. That's how I've always viewed it. I've asked guys out before and thus paid. However, I also think that after the first date you should take turns paying or each pay for a portion of the date or something like that. I do think it is silly to expect guys to pay for every date just because of tradition. I've never thought that was fair.

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    • Strange that you get to negatives thumbs. I agree with you, thats the most healty way. Also, your avatar rocks 😍

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    • @bekkesmash if it bothers you so much to treat someone who you invited out, then don't ask people out OR ask them on dates that don't cost a tonne. You don't have to take every girl out to a fancy dinner... a stroll around the park with a cup of tea, or meeting up for a beer or two are perfectly fine dates.

    • It's the principle. Trust me girls who ask the guy out aren't expected to pay.

  • I don't like talking things from people. It makes me really uncomfortable. I'd definitely offer to pay especially for my meal. That being said I wouldn't feel like I was talking care of a guy if I bought him food. I'd rather cook it. Anyone can pay a chef to provide a meal. My cooking it would show that I can actually take care of them. I really put effort into providing them the meal. I like talking care of people in general. I am very maternal.

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  • I always offer to pay on the first date. Guys hardly ever take me up on it though. If the dating continues it's usually paid for by the person who planned the date, which we generally take turns doing.

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    • Now, you, are a person with the feets on the ground :). I completly agree with you

  • Nothing at all. Maybe they think it works. It does help you find the gold diggers out there

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    • Hell yes β˜ΊπŸ‘ this woman gets it πŸ™‚

  • Objective reason is no matter how much women can earn , how she can strong etc., man always who she want his attention to care and protective. Care I mean not just money can buy , everything can be impressive her just say , keep in touch , buy somethings special etc., so more value for her.

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  • I want to share this video about precisely this post and what this male speker says about "Who pays for the date, men or women". The guy answer is very wise and I agree with him.,

    This is the link, Watch it

    https://www.facebook.com/upsoclvideo/videos/1575326185823764/?hc_ref=ARR5iEeOHipzwLqwZ-ilQsSuDTlTj19GdbBAdo_9Xcxkh2Grx_O3azukxdTXPS8lA9w

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  • There is no "objective reason" to do it. Do it if you want to. Don't do it if you don't want to.
    At the same time, you can't stop women from picking men that do more to impress them. You also can't stop other men from trying to impress women and therefore being better options than you.

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    • You also can't stop men from passing on women who expect him to pay.

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    • @ OP ignore the troll. he's lives in distorted fantasy world where he believes that any woman who accepts anything from a guy, including gifts, is a prostitute. You're absolutely right. If someone doesn't want to pay, there are plenty of men who will. That should give the troll an idea that courtship is not prostitution. It's a gesture of chivalry.

    • @babylips14
      I know he's nuts. He also keeps continuing the conversation even though I already gave up. Ugh.

  • Because women still generally hold positions that earn less. There's less female CEO's etc. And before you start saying women "choose" this to start families or be at home more.. there is no reason men can't do that. But it's not happening. So if you know what job your date has, regardless of gender, i think the one earning most should pay the most dates. At least, if the pay gap is significant.

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    • Post a picture of a woman scaffolder or a woman sewerage worker or a woman on a road crew. Women get the cushiest jobs coz that's all they want

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    • @Dale1982 You're fucking annoying and i just can't. Blocking you.

    • @Dale1982
      Because we're delicate. You want someone touching you with some dry, rough hands with thick callouses?

  • I don't pay for dates because I am a housewife... I have no income lol

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    • Most housewives I know do enough for the family to claim rights on the house income. When he takes you on dates you're really paying for half. ;)

    • @djowl to be honest I prefer cooking my own food :-) lol it never tastes as good

  • I don't know if chivalry is tradition... but the reason I want a man to pay for me is because it comes under a trait of chivalry in my opinion, it shows that he wants to take care of me.

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    • But shouldn't women be chivalrous too? I would also like it if women showed me that they want to take care of me

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    • But just because we prefer someone else to pay for a date, doesn't mean they should. And that's easy for you to say, you're a woman. Men are used to paying for a date, but where am I going to find a woman who's willing to pay for me?

    • I guess you have to date and see for it yourself.

      I always offer to go halves on a date anyway so the part I look out for is where he shows me that he wants to pay. And that's not always guaranteed so it's a gamble either way.

  • As a nice gesture I would assume if you are really interested and have been dating for awhile maybe a month or so. I never make someone pay and I would not care if someone does not pay but apparently it shows "interest" according to some people.

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  • The one who asks someone else out should pay simply because you're asking the other part to take some time out of their life to spend it with you.

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    • They are not obliged to accept the invitation (well most men know that very well). So in my opinion if the girl doesn't want to be with me then she can fuck off. I wouldn't want someone who doesn't want to be with me. So is that why women don't ask men out? So they don't pay? πŸ˜‚

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    • @Grouch225 not truly. I do t pretend to trow flowers at myself but i have been invited on a date many many times. Its just that usually we rush and invite them first, but if you wait and give the chance it sould happen

    • @Arcari Well I'm shy and don't have the guts to ask girls, so obviously girls have had many chances to ask me out and that has never happened. So what is it? Am I ugly as fuck? I even used to think that but many people have told me that's not true. So it's just girls being super lazy and passive

  • Funny thing, there is another topic about women taking her husband's surname, and most guys there are so negative towards girls who want to keep her name, because it's not what tradition says it should be. Double standards I guess :P

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    • whiny little men on this sight. Thank goodness the real world isn't so fucking stupid. at least for the most part lol

  • There is no objective reason. Gender roles are rarely objective.

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  • I would like splitting the bills or wouldn't mind paying everything.

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What Guys Said 40

  • I pay for all the dates because that is the tradition to which I am accustomed, and I want my girlfriend to do all the traditional female things in our relationship. Th millions of guys who have gone before you and who engaged in those traditional behaviors were not all stupid!

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  • I don't pay for dates. Solely because as a student I'm also broke af. And if a woman can only see the monetary side of what i have to offer then that makes her a gold digger and not worth my time. She'll be the type of woman to marry me when i am earning quite a bit of money, then divorce me and take half my earnings.

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    • By saying i don't pay I mean it's either split 50/50 or I just pay for what i orderee.

    • Indeed. Paying for what you order should be the way to go, methinks.

  • Just because they earn the same at a comparable job does not mean that that is who you're dating. If the girl makes more she's likely to spend more on entertainment for the two of you.

    If you're a REAL MAN you lead, pay, perform, game your woman or she loses respect for you and bails for someone that can and will.

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    • Ah yes, the old "You're a REAL man only if you're the walking ATM"

    • If you're rich what difference does it make?
      And if you're not, then get busy. LOL

  • Who doesn't love free meals?
    Or showing off, that you - as a man - can burn 50$ in one night to a female without worrying about how you will manage your finances afterwards. Minor Gold diggers love this.

    Now you tell me about it @thisdudehere.

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  • I think people just grow up with that being the norm. I've only had two serious relationships and while I did pay for the first date, both women said I shouldn't have and then went on to pay for the next one. So I've yet to go on a date with a woman who just assumes im going to pay and actually that would be a real turn off for me

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  • I like to pay for the first date as a traditionally kind gesture. But keep in mind I pick a cheaper first date (coffee, smoothies, breakfast/lunch, etc.).

    Girls buying girls $30+ outings for a FIRST date, are fools. Get to know her with casual date, converse with one another and get to know her BEFORE you feel she is worth spending on.

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  • There's no objective reason that the man SHOULD pay for the first date. But there are objective reasons for him to do it of his own accord anyways. Like if you invite her out and really want to see her, but she says she doesn't have any money right now. That's an objective reason to offer to pay for her. Can make the offer and tell her she can cover the next one.

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  • Personally I think it has to do with projecting that the man is a good provider, has a stable income, can home them both.

    In a sense a new form of competition between men for a mate. Not trough some dance or battle, or any physical form of peacocking but financial peacocking.

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  • Me personally, it has nothing to do with who gets paid more. It has everything to do with showing they are interested and to show you he has the ability to financially support you. To show you there not bums, they have a job, and they like you enough to spend some of there money in order to show you they are willing to persue you as a potential relationship.

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  • That's not true , or ever has it been true. The whole idea that men and women now should pay equally for a date is about as stupid as the date it's self. Why all the finacial issues during a date? Men beware , women want you to wear and bear the pants , so they can control the zipper.

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  • Calling the shots, being the man... When you're the man you put her in her place lol
    I's a race to the top, and they're catching up... we have to keep it there - with the right girl it's not a bad thing to show her who's in charge hahah

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  • Women still don't earn quite as much money as men. But I still don't think it's fair for men to pay for women when they're still just getting to know each other. Paying for a stranger makes no sense to me

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  • There are none really but it's probably due to hypergamy. If women want me to pay dates they better know how to cook. Chinese women expect men to pay for dates and Chinese women are cooking and cleaning without being asked to do these things.

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    • πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ I bet you're single af

    • @assley Yes I'm single because I don't bother dating and actually avoid women as much possible.

  • women donΒ΄t want to be "equal". they want equal "rights" not equal "obligations". thatΒ΄s the whole point of feminism xD

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  • Well women hold the power when it comes to dating and sex because they are the ones being chased 90%of the time. The majority of women have dozens of men asking them out on a weekly/monthly bases so they have loads of options compared to men. So, its really up to the men to do the "impressing" by paying for dates, buy her flowers, pick her up etc...

    So even though women are making more that a lot of men, they still hold the power of having more options, so its up to men to go above and beyond to impress the the woman. Obviously this doesn't apply to everyone, but its the bases where the whole "men have to pay " actually comes from.

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  • There is no objective reason. Its one of those things that women feel like men should do because that's what their mom, friends, and media have all told them.

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  • For certain kind of shallow women it would be seen as a negative to not pay.
    So if this is the kind of women you wish to attract it would be a reason to do it.

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  • There is none, yet a few girls have separated from me because I'm "cheap"

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  • Sweden is top rated in gender equality. When you go on date split the bills. Such thing is too be accepted everywhere in the world. Why man only pay for it. I don't find reason for it

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  • Politics can't change human nature, hard as they try. Women still want taken care of and pursued and men like doing the pursuing and providing

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    • Not everyone wants to be a walking ATM

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    • @assley does he know how you think deep down? You don't need him and he's just a deeper voice lol. I wouldn't marry you.

    • He brought more than a deeper voice.

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