Dan is shy and usually doesn't say much. I can get him talking and laughing, and he flirts with me. He knows I had several long-term relationships, and I know he had one long term girlfriend. We're both single now.
I'm attractive. I get hit on a lot, and told I'm beautiful. Dan is one of few people who has never commented on my appearance.
I catch him looking at me in class all the time. He also finds reasons to be close to me. He often asks me to look up things for him on my phone he could easily do himself. Several people have asked if we're dating. When I say no, they assume that I either haven't noticed, or that I am not interested.
This is a relationship I want to pursue, and just assumed he was attracted to me, too. We've been alone a few times, and just before we part ways he sometimes said something like, "Holy fuck." stares at me for a minute, offers a fist bump, and then walks away. I interpreted that as him losing his nerve to make a move.
I've never asked a guy out before, but I wanted this to happen. Last week I asked him out by text, and he immediately answered, "Sounds interesting." I tried to set a day, but he took a long time to answer, and wouldn't commit. Never mentioned it since.
Earlier today I texted him, asking if he was attracted to me or not. He said, "No, I'm not, and I'm not looking to get attached to anyone at the moment." Yet he sometimes talks about getting married or having a wife someday.
He quickly followed that up with, "Why would you be interested in me?" and "Sounds kinda unreal." When I saw him later on, it was like nothing had happened. One of the first things he was talking about was being nervous about an upcoming presentation- even talking about how he was "nervous about his performance". That's an odd choice of words for school work- but not for a potential sexual relationship. I don't know if I'm reading into that too much.
Any opinion is welcome, but I especially want to hear from shy guys. What is going on here?
Most Helpful Guy
Hmm... Well this sounds somewhat interesting.
Now, I'm not particularly shy. But people who are, do not react well to direct conformation, they need to be eased in, hence, the secondary purpose of dating.
So what I have as an idea (although you have have already done this) is to go out with the guy, like twice a week or something for 2-3 weeks, see if he relaxes a bit or something. And then depending on his reaction to the whole bonding act, you can make an appropriate decision.
Beware though, he may actually NOT like you regardless of how godlike your beauty may be. And these interpretations of his actions can be wrong. So just keep the possibility of failure in mind.1
- Show AllShow Less