What do you think is the worst part about being ghosted?

I think the worst part about being ghosted is the lack of closure or explanation more so than just the fact they lost interest.

I mean how can you learn from your mistakes and learn to improve yourself when you don't know what went wrong in the first place?

It just makes you over analyze and second guess yourself if you keep getting ghosted but never find out why. Makes you feel like you're the most flawed/undesirable person.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I agree! If someone ghosts you then they leave you with endless unanswered questions. The most painful goodbyes are the ones unspoken and unexplained. People often lose self-esteem after being ghosted. They wonder what's wrong with them, and it can cause trust issues in some people. They fear it will happen again when they build a rapport with someone else

    I only ghost people if I discover they've been disloyal to me , or if they're trying to manipulate me. People that like deserve nothing but my silence

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Completely agree. That really is the worst part. They seem to feel like they're above having to tell you. And then when it happens to them they don't like it.

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 16

  • Feeling like I'm not worth an explanation or even a goodbye. Not knowing what the reason is such as me or something else. Missing talking to that person and feeling like something is missing (depending on the person). Wondering if you'll ever hear from them again.

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  • That you are not worthy of any explanation why they just left.

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    • Yeah, especially when it's out of the blue and everything seemed fine up until then. It makes you feel like you're walking on eggshells.

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    • yes that one too. to them you are just a number, on cue.

    • Same and on the flip side, I feel like I have to multi date just due to uncertainties with each person. Not that I'm trying to rush into anything, but I've had dates say let's hang out again, text me, or even "you're not just looking for a hookup, are you?" Only to ghost. It's like why even bother with this any more. It's like no matter what you do, you can't win.

  • Wasted time.

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    • And money... possibly

  • Wondering if everything was a lie.

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  • The scare. The shivers in the spine. The sleepless nights. The rattling during the night. The cold areas in the house.

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  • I agree, lack of closure and not understanding why. It's a terrible feeling and it's happened to me.

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    • Yeah it's never fun, but when it repeatedly happens, it makes you wonder what you're doing wrong.

    • I don't think it's necessarily you personally, it's more a case it just seems to have become more commonly acceptable to do that now unfortunately.

    • @Sienna-Rose yeah I've read some articles about online dating and ghosting and they all seem to say the same thing

  • The best part about ghosting is the lack of confrontation. I've done it before and I'll do it again.

    Yeah, it's a dick move. But everyone is a dick in a different way.

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    • Yes but what were your reasons for ghosting. Were the guys weird or creeps?

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    • But it seemed like we did... I'm not getting drunk like your old boyfriends, what great judgement you seemed to have. We were talking an equal amount, she talked more than I did. She was laying on my shoulder and putting her legs on top of mine, then we cuddled. The next date we went out to get drinks, more good conversation, then nothing. I know when dates go badly, and those kind of things suggest otherwise. I'm just saying sometimes girls don't show that they have much logic. It's pretty hard to put trust into a romantic relationship when a girl can show affection for you one day and not talk to you ever again afterwards. That's all I'm saying

    • @NewEnglandDude I can tell you exactly why: it's this ceaseless whinging about how your life is so unfair and that you're just so hard done by.

  • Finding out that the person you were somewhat interested in is actually an immature twat.

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  • the fact that you don't actually get an answer as to what happened? where did it all go wrong? was it you? was it him? .. there are just so many questions left without answers

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  • What you said plus wondering if something bad happened to that person. Which makes you feel bad for thinking that you've been ghosted.

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    • A terrible thing for a person who tends to overthink.

  • yeah definitely no constructive criticism :/

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    • If people would give that, it'd make things easier. Of course you have those who can't take any kind of criticism though.

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    • I'm sure there's others who can't. Those were just my examples

  • why i like a sex fantasy

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  • The wonderment of what I did wrong

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    • Yeah that's what drives me crazy.

      And the thing is when I ask about it, people will say the same Tired advice like move on, there's other girls, etc and while those are true, it does me no good when the same thing happens constantly.

      It's like you're damned if you do, damned if you don't when trying to find out what went wrong.

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    • Same, it sucks

    • Not for me once i come to the realization. Also talking to other people (even though I don't like them as much or at all in more than a friend way) helps a lot to get my mind off of him

  • I completely agree. It just makes you feel like you weren't worth the respect. Plus if someone tells you straight up it's far easier to move on quickly. I can respect that much more. It surprises me that adult men sometimes still do this too. You'd think by now they have learned to communicate a bit better.

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  • The wondering and not knowing is the worst

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  • If someone does that to you, it's on them, not you. You can't blame yourself for other people's shitty actions. I know this as someone who's ghosted friends before- it was all to do with me and my issues at the time, not anything they did.

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    • Yes but if it happens repeatedly, with many different people, wouldn't it worry you?

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    • Yes and I would never change who I am or put on a front to impress anyone. If I have to hide who I am then it's not worth it either.

      The thing is I've had tons of dates and a few hookups/flings and generally play things by ear but it just seems to really end before it starts.

      Like I'll know when a date is bad but when it's frustrating when a girl insists on seeing each other more only to flake/ghost.

    • I feel you, it sucks :( . But you can't let those experiences make you think you're flawed or undesirable

What Guys Said 13

  • Worst part is lack of closure. I've had it happen to me. Once a lady who I really liked ghosted me and no explanation given. Probably a couple of months later I found out through some mutual friends that she had reconciled with a former boyfriend during the time I was dating her. It really sucked at first and I was sad she was no longer part of my life.

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  • Totally the lack of closure. It makes me feel like I was just a placeholder until someone better came along. Just so disposable.

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  • I've been ghosted a handful of times by "good" friends. It took me reading this question to think about them and realize we don't talk anymore. Not for a couple of years. I stopped sending the first message one day and then nothing. They're just not meant to be a part of my life. I'm cool with that. My recommendation, just keep on keeping on. One day someone will walk into your life and make you forget about every person in the past. Don't change for anyone unless you want to change to "better" yourself. Whatever that means to you.

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  • The worst part is that young people come up with the most absurd fucking names for "being rude"...

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    • It was basically for lack of a better term

  • It's childish. Why not block the person and tell them I'm blocking you because ******? The ghosting is letting everyone know you're ghosted except you, childish...

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  • Closure or an explanation isn't important to me. I just need you to have the human decency to say " hey this isn't working out for me lets end things" .

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    • But if you have it happen repeatedly with no explanation, then you start to second guess yourself and feel like you're walking on eggshells all the time. And not to blame one party or another, but that's no way to live.

    • I understand that, but I don't think closure will actually help because the person is only telling you why you both aren't compatible with each other. Eg the girl says you're too sensitive... that's not necessarily a bad thing, because another woman may appreciate that quality... so you changing who you are or a personality trait based on what an ex didn't like isn't gonna help you in the future with dating
      Just be yourself and hopefully you find someone that loves you for you.

    • Yeah I mean you can't please everyone and while beauty is in the eye of the beholder, it does get frustrating being 27 almost 28 and not having had an official girlfriend or relationship. It makes me feel like there's something holding me back that isn't holding anyone else back or that there's some flaw that everyone else sees but me.

      And it's like yeah I've dated and had sex, but quality is more important than quantity in spite of the double standard.

      It's like I've been able to attract a lot of women initially but none of them led to anything. Longest "relationship" I've had is 2-3 months and I don't put it out there but I feel that at my age, never having had past relationships is a red flag.

  • the lack of respect and courage to tell someone you don't want to see them rather than just disappearing

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  • Not knowing what you did wrong.

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  • Never hearing or knowing

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  • You have covered most of the raw emotions in your question - Maybe it is something that comes with age instead of worrying what you did may have done wrong and worry about meeting someone who likes you for who you are - I honestly don't think there is a formula that makes you more desirable to other people or else that self help book would constantly top the best sellers list - You are who you are and it is up to the other person to like the real you or not - You can't make someone like you.

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    • Yeah but this isn't aimed at one person, this seems to be a recurring thing so I must be doing something wrong on my end.

  • The sad thing is these days people find it much easier to just stop talking to someone they don't want to be with or aren't interested in anymore. (Be it instantly or gradually) I see that as immature and cold. It's the easy way out. Everyone deserves honesty and people respect you more when they get it. Closure makes it a lot easier to move forward.
    It's selfish and people that ghost aren't worth your time.

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  • Not knowing why.

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  • When the other team knows your position, how are you supposed to kill anyone when they're ghosting and giving away your position... oh wait...

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