Is the hookup culture ruining future relationships for women? (Page 2)
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No. Plain and clear. Women are actually learning to respect themselves by respecting their own sexuality and needs. "Is alcohol ruining people's lives?" In some cases, yes. But as always, it's not the alcohol's fault: if you abuse anything, it's gonna ruin your life. If you're not emotionally ready to sustain the downsides of sleep around (since everybody knows the implications of it) you shouldn't be doing it, it's not the system's fault. Blame the player, not the game. Of course this kind of culture brings a lot of problems, but ruining relationships isn't one of them. If you can't handle it, don't do it. As with literally anything else in life.
i guess it depends on what you mean by 'ruining'. This suggests that having a relationship is some sort of necessity. Back 100 years ago when women couldn't survive on their own because no one would take them seriously enough to pay them a living wage, yeah, it made a ton sense for women to do whatever they could to be companionable to some guy so he would take care of her. But we're past that silliness, now. A relationship is no longer a necessity, but instead is something you should only consider doing when you happen to stumble across someone you genuinely like. And that's fine.
But people still have sexual needs. The reluctance to get into unnecessary relationships doesn't stop that. This is how a 'hook-up culture' starts.
So, you have it backwards, the way I see it. It isn't a hookup culture that ruins relationships, it's the low demand for relationships that started the hookup culture.
Relationships have never worked. Like, in the history of humanity. The only difference is that now, both men and women have a say on what their relationships are going to be like. There's not just one kind of relationship where you respectfully hold hands until your most likely unhappy marriage, which you cannot undo under any circumstances. Women are not as pressured to get (and stay) married. Men neither. Divorce is okay, not being in a relationship is okay, we have much more freedom to choose.
I agree thanks to modern medicine, labour saving technology and social welfare men no longer have to marry or stay married as women can work and support themselves, also thanks to DNA testing a guy doesn't have to raise a kid not his own. Men are no longer yoked to the plow of work or shackled to chain of responsibility for a woman.
Let me guess, feminist?
Nope, I just observe things.
And you genuinely believe that people can't be happy in relationships?
Your reasoning gave me suicidal tendencies
Divorce is rising since there is a strong correlation between number of sexual partners before marriage and divroce. Also fiscal matters as well. The pursuit of pleasure and greed doesn't work.
Yes hookup culture is killing relationship for both sexes but mostly for women. a lot guys out there just want to have fun non serious relationships, It doesn't help that there are women willing to throw their cookies and cremes out for those type of guys, and girls who don't get down like that getting pushed aside for those type of women. It makes it hard for women who want a serious committed relationship cause if the guy doesn't get what he wants sooner or later then he just gets up and leave cause bored and tired of waiting.
So you can't just give sex to one man and stay loyal to each other? Of course if you give a man nothing he will leave.
@ComputerScientist it's not about getting sex ever, it's about him only wanting sex to begin with and once he realizes he's not going to get it as fast as he use to getting it then he gets up and leave. Some women don't want to have sex immediately, some want to wait until she knows him and are officially dating, or wants to wait til marriage.
Can't that be used as a litmus test?
@BrittBratt2416 So a guy should wait for 2 years with no sex before getting married? He will spend tons of money on dates and she can just dump him for another guy at any point. What did he get from that? Nothing.
@ComputerScientist if she does dump him after 2 years of relationship for someone else, then it clearly means that she was not the right one to hold on to for the longer run
@ComputerScientist then if you don't think she's worth to wait for sex or marriage then just dont date her. You know what women get who do put out and still get dumped or ghosted afterwards in even if they were in a relationship or not? Nothing. So what you're saying is a 2 year relationship went down the drain but your more upset about not getting sex.
@TheFriendlyOne There is no right one anyway. And the same thing does happen in marriage, but it is even more expensive to the man. The whole dating system is a fraud created by women.
@BrittBratt2416 No, you keep trying to put words in my mouth? How do you know the reasons I was upset with the ending of a relationship? Did you ever think I might have loved the person so that is why I was willing to put up with the ABUSE of her denial of sex - and in the end it still amounted to nothing.
@ComputerScientist ugh why are you assuming that I'm putting words into your mouth? I'm not talking about you, it was just saying if a guy don't want to wait then he can he find someone else. Okay dating isn't a fraud plenty of people men and women are doing just fine when it comes to dating. Also denying sex isn't abuse, you are reaching and to say not having sex is abuse is totally messed up compared to people who do actually go through abuse.
@BrittBratt2416 Yes it is a form of abuse to willfully deny needs of someone who you supposedly love. Anyway I would never put myself in that position again!
@ComputerScientist no it is not abuse, you are being disrespectful towards people who have been through abuse. Getting choked, slapped around, or beaten is not the same as not getting sex for you to put on that same level is disgusting. Sex also isn't a need, it's mostly a want/desire the only time sex is truly needed is for reproduction but other than that humans could live just fine without sex. Ain't nobody dropping dead from not having sex. Now don't assume I'm saying sex is pointless and we should only do it when making children, I'm just say in women want to do it at the right time and with the right person.
By saying it mostly kills it for women, you are indirectly saying women want romantic relationships more than men -- which in my opinion is false.
@Svennedude2 I'm only talking about guys who don't want anything serious
@BrittBratt2416 Actually men do physically suffer from lack of sex. Of course you would not understand it since you are a woman. Men and women are not the same biologically! Men do have a need for sex on a psychological and physiological level, and it is more intense than what any woman could imagine. Persistent denial of sex does create deep and lasting psychological trauma for men.
I did not say a woman being beaten or mistreated is not abuse. There is different forms of mistreatment for different genders. Again, men and women are not the same!
But there's a lot of women out there who who are just messing around too. They are just not as vocal about it. I think you might be surprised to find the number of fuckboys and sluts to be even. I think both sexes are probably killing it evenly.
@ComputerScientist I might be a woman but trust me I get it. By side that, it's also due to living in society that glorifies sex too much, it's constantly mentioned in music, songs, tv, and movies. We are in a hypersexualised society so it's no wonder why sex gets put on a pedestal by some men. Again I'm not saying sex isn't important, what I'm saying is that a lot people jump to fast when it comes to sex before getting to know someone. I'm not saying that it's okay to never want to make love with your partner cause it can cause problems and make them feel unwanted. I also I understand that men and women are different.
Anyone who sleeps around for fun is a subhuman to me. They just disgust me. Anyways, yes sleeping around is ruining relationships for everybody not just women. However, I expect my mate to be independent of the social norms that make it OK to have premarital sex with an unworthy individual for fun so I guess its fine but the thing is its really frustrating waiting for the right girl to show up.
No, if you have that type of history don't meet a guy and immediately say, "By the way I've had sex with X amount of men." Your past is your past and it is up to you if you want to tell him or not. Men hook up all the time, do you expect him to tell you every detail of his past sex partners when meeting? Let him get to know you for who YOU are. Not what you did however many years ago. The only time you would be required to disclose all that up front is if you have not been checked or have been checked and have an STD. I suggest you do at least get tested with that history.
Your past is not your past, I have absolutely right to know what her past is. I will not date somebody promiscuous period. If she didn't want to tell I simply moved on. How exactly is it working out for promiscuous girls your age?
@Oram52 Just because the girl was "promiscuous" in the past doesn't mean that she is today. If she isn't today, what's it to you. Attempt to insult my age all you like, but I look 1000X better and younger at 30 than you will look at 23. I'm not "promiscuous" but even if I was at my "age" of 30 who gaf? It's not you so don't worry about it. If you think 30 is so "old" you should do yourself a favor and just off yourself at 25, bc one day you'll be 30 too child
So suddenly she's not promiscuous it doesn't matetr anymore? So those numbers are magically erased? It always matters otherwise promiscuous girls wouldn't whine and come up with crap like history doesn't matter.
You're pretty I wasn't making any negative comemnt on your appearance or age. What I meant was how being promiscuous affects now that you're older and want to settle down, and guys refuse to date promiscuous girls.
Past and history is not erased.
Well, Who says the woman have rights in 21st century HAN !
We can effectively fuck multiple woman and still no responsibility of Kid cuz government will pay abortion bills and we can fuck others too and still
If we fall for that love thing, Then you can effectively enjoy the whole thing up to the marriage part and enjoy first 2 years. Then contact court and pay her to get rid of her for Good, no tension of kids, no responsibility of being father, no customs to bear her when She will no be beautiful anymore and stinky old lady. Just dump her and move on,
Hunt for more and if you can't find a prey. Go on and buy one from stripper club this is What males wanted all along !
It's pretty naive to blame your personal sexual conduct on 'the media' or 'the left' or 'the times'. Everyone has their own personal values, if you feel sleeping around will diminish your self-esteem then maybe your not really approaching sex from the healthiest mindset.
Plenty of people still want relationships, I think the important thing is to just be upfront with your 'partner' regarding your intentions.
The pursuit of pleausre is at large in America and I blame this on the sexual Revolution and other events.
Yes it is an issue, however if women on a collective level raise their standrads, not give themselves away so fast, men will have to raise their stanards too!
Such a shame though, takes majortiy of women to do so. I think people should wait for marriage.
The more sexual partners before marriage leads to a higher chance of divocre.
No I don't think so. In me and my friends experiences, men didn't want relationships. They just wanted to have sex. My frienf was taken advantage of and she didn't see it coming until he disappeared. He did everything to show to he had feelings for her. Then got what he wanted and left. And thats most guys in their younger 20s.
So are women supposed to wait around for a perfect man to come along, or can she have her fun too? Women went from being used to meeting guys head on with the behavior.
Also some people just aren't at a point in their lives where they can be in a relationship. They're moving around, get new and bigger job opportunities, need to focus on self-help instead of trying to be with someone and generally just trying to get themselves together. I'm going to move after I graduate to find a job, and probably move around some more after that. I'm in no position for a relationship at this point in time. It would only hold me back. Other people probably feel the same.
This is part of it too...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CuD8aVqaBSMHoly balls, this was hilarious 😂
.. And this..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n0yShJVOSjk
I don't know.
I thinknit can be hard for women to shift from hooking up to a relationship in a way that it isn't for men though. Generally speaking men have to drop their standards to go for casual hookups while women can hookup with hotter/more fun guys who would otherwise be out of their league. That means when a guy who was hooking up wants to settle down, he can probably settle down with a girl who was the most desireable of his hookup partners or perhaps even more desireable. He is trading quantity for quality. For a woman she actually can't settle down with the sort of guys she might have hooked up with. She's trading quality for commitment. That's a more bitter pill to swallow.
i agree with you for the most part.
i don't think casual sex is good for people, especially women. it's the mindset.
however, one thing i have noticed about most guys is, if they really like a girl and want to date her, they don't focus too much on her past.
Honestly I think it has ONLY ruined relationship for men... And not any men l, but specifically those who are more insecure, because knowing that women have now the possibility to fuck around without any effort, makes it easier for the to find a partner in therm of quantity, hence reduces even more the probability for said insecure men to be chosen. Just the other day I was overlistening a conversation about this guy who's mother is not happy about his son fucking women around, and a girl said "I would be happy if my son would be like that, that would mean that he is not a loser."
That is another unhealthy misconception though. Just because a guy is having tons of sex doesn't make him better or more worthy of a loving relationship over a man who is a virgin in his 30s. Same goes for women. Perhaps the virgin man is a late bloomer, has anxiety, only gets aroused when he has emotional attachment, etc. Maybe the inexperienced man is the most sensitive lover who actually cares about his partner's pleasure and is willing to listen, learn, take his time, would make his woman feel comfortable, and is willing to give his woman room to express herself sexually too rather than just being macho dominated in bed.
It hasn't ruined relationships for shy or anxious men, shyness and anxiety makes it harder for them to form relationships though. If anything, it has made women more aware of what makes them feel good, which either A) makes them judgmental of inexperienced men, OR more often B) are able to express themselves enough to allow the inexperienced man to learn.
@freakyzeaky Well if that's a misconception or not, doesn't really change how it affects them, as you clarified in your A and B points.
KEEP IN MIND! I do not mean that this is wrong for women to do it. They of course get the best results out of it and are not hurting anyone directly.
" I hate it when I see women breaking down emotionally for not being able to find the right guys after years and years of sleeping around, hookups, friends with benefits."
I don't have sympathy for those women. It's their fault. They chose to be sloots.
Yeah. I lost a lot of these 'friends' and got into a lot of conflict with parents for doing whatever I had to necessary in order to stay away from the entire hookup culture ultimately to avoid associating with the people involved in it, which is most if not nearly everyone in my age group or people who would have otherwise been my coworkers had I not decided to stay out of the workforce because of this reason.
What is the hookup culture other than a form of prostitution where popularity is the currency? Paying for sex is probably more legitimate because it promotes actual economic value.
Of course, marriage would be preferable, but this system has already been ruined by the laws and courts.
It's the new norm, you need to get used to it ladies. Many women today have no idea how to be a desirable long term partner
Agreed
"do you think that hookup culture or the culture non-relationship sexual arrangements is diminishing the future prospects for women for having a relationship?"
It is, but not for the reasons you provided.
Men are reflective of women. If women are easy to get into bed without a relationship, then men will take them to bed without a relationship. If one woman holds out, he will just go to the next one.
i don't believe it is and if hookup culture was ruining relationships it would seem to ruin relationships for both men and women
but the reality is the rate of marriage is increasing, the rate of divorces are decreasing.
i think hookup culture in many ways benefits men and women as it allows for people to sort of go through a bit of relationship self discovery rather than feeling like they have to commit to one person early in their life before they are perhaps truly ready
Yes. Feminism has ruined women's lives. You can't expect to have everything you want in life. Life isn't an "I want this so I'm going to have it" kinda thing, especially when dealing with other people. You can't expect to fuck around whenever you want, and one day just stop and find a great man. Life doesn't work that way.
It's sad that so many young girls are taking this path of self destruction. It's big reason to why depression in women has high rocketed in the last years, and why there's more single women who have never experienced a relationship now than before.
You can't go against human nature and expect to live a happy life.