What are your thoughts on keeping someone as a "back up", while you date around in order to keep your options open?
Most Helpful Guy
I'm against it.
I won't judge others who perform this. But i am personally so against it. I would not do it to anyone and i would be somehow turned off and feel upset if someone done this to me.
According to my values and principles; i believe when i am dating someone; i must dedicate my full time and focus to the girl i am seeing at the moment. For me it's respecting the boundaries and valuing her present. I can not and i ever won't see people as an opportunity or option. She is not a tool nor objective to me either. If i accept to see someone is because i am interested in them, it's because i want to know them and that willingness fuels by a passion. It's because i am trying to take my chances to establish a relationship with the girl i am dating. I can't like several people at once. my heart is not a garage that everyone fits in.
It's somehow a confusion state. If i like that backup, why he is a back up from the first place? if i like the one i am dating/seeing, what is the backup then? i find it disrespectful. I guess it's the best if we make our mind. If you like someone or have someone then be it, if you're single, then date. I don't believe in a stage of somehow single. People are not shirts that you mark a brand in a store then say; we'll go check other stores, if we didn't find something better we'll get back and purchase this one. People are much more than that. Our values are higher and we deserve to be treated by respect and dignity.
Most Helpful Girl
I've bee non the receiving end and I didn't like it. Especially as we had history. I made it clear that I didn't want to be apart of this and if he wanted to continue sleeping with me it's me or nothing. I wasn't going to be upset if he chose dating someone else but I just didn't want to be messed around.
It's one thing to have a few people you're seeing but when you start sleeping with one in the hope to keep them for just incase it's cruel. (Unless agreed)1