Do you ever feel like calling it quits with your long term partner?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years and 7 months - so like super long. I know I care deeply for him but I don't feel like he's putting the same amount of effort into the relationship as I have been doing. It's like we're just together and we've turned into this old married couple who don't do anything fun or exciting anymore.

Sometimes I think about leaving and going after someone who'd give me a little more attention and adventure but I know I'd miss my current boyfriend so much and I'd regret it the moment I tried to end things.

Does anyone else ever feel like this?Do you ever feel like calling it quits with your long term partner?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The main reason why you, and most other people feel this way, is because the level of consciousness of the two people involved in the relationship is limited to a connection between two minds, rather than a connection between two souls or the higher self.

    Changing partners will end in the same way, but at first you will feel excitement, new adventure... and then boredom, restlessness, apathy, and then you, or the guy will want to split up.

    The relationship is not the problem, the limit is in the connection. When two people connect more physically, and egoistically, than spiritually, and from a higher self, then they suffer the fate that the ego often suffers.

    If you want to change this, both of you will need to change how you connect, how you think, how you relate. Mindfulness, being able to cease the internal chatterbox, and connecting at a deeper level through learning each others soul, life purpose, and internal energy.

    Also, as soon as you decide this relationship is not enough, or that he hasn't been putting in enough effort. Even if this wasn't the case, a part of you within, will begin to start checking out, finding more fault, and finding a reason to leave. Intent is very powerful, and you intend to move on...

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You both have to grow together in the relationship. The relationship does not stop just because the two of you may live together and been together for so many years. You still have to do things together as a couple to keep the spark alive.

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What Guys Said 24

  • Communicate this to him without arguing about it. He may feel the same and you two aren't expressing yourselves enough or speaking. Sometimes we get used to routines, but its not due to a lack of compatibility, interest, or love for the other person. Resparking romance and excitement is as simple as one or both people deciding to really just go DO SOMETHING. If in the end its stale and neither cares to reignite it, end it but relationships that last forever are not on cloud nine every single day either, thats impossible. This "struggle" could end up making you guys stronger, if you address it instead of not communicating your feelings.

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  • It happens. Why not talk to him. Let him know how you feel, that you don't want to continue this way. Give him some of your ideas to spice things up and ask him what he thinks would be good? Commjnicate well and try and work collaboratively isy advice. ... of course that comes from a place of having failed at it, but you can learn from my lesson. (c:

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  • You feel like the relationship lost the spark? You know routine kills relationships?
    Once the exciting things from a relationship that are present in the beginning are gone, you have to look deeper and see whats currently wrong so you can overcome it and grow together.
    Is it him, or is it you? Does he ignore you now or do you crave more attention than before? Have your needs changed, is the problem coming from outside or inside?
    Yes it has happened to me and thats why I said all this. If you truly love him, maybe its worth looking into it.

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  • a certain habituation never goes out. We are 45 years together. It is always the question, whether it is really boredom which one can prevent or weariness at the partner. Then the other can do what he will. It will never be enough. It is the task of both to talk and listen to find out this

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  • Definitely. Been with the same guy for 4 years. Getting married was a bad idea. I'm stuck between thinking "we act like roommates, not lovers. I want a lover. I want a partner" to "I've put so much time and effort into this relationship and no one has such a sweet beginning story as ours. The sheer randomness and romanticality of it all should it mean it's meant to be." And then like "I'm not even gay why am I married to a guy?" I don't know it's just hard. Not wanting to throw everything away that you bled to build, but not feeling like it's worth keeping and you're not valued. Yeah. It's a crock of shit.

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    • I don't know if I caught that right. You're married to a guy, but you're not gay?

    • Yea. It's confusing for me too. I guess I'm bi. I don't know. I've only really ever seriously dated and been with women until I met him as a roommate and things just sorta fell into place weirdly. We clicked better than anyone I've ever been with and he liked me romantically and I didn't want to lose the weirdly perfect relationship so i wound accepting the situation and dating him. Then 3 years had passed still living together and we got engaged. It used to be like we were in a movie and all the stupid labels and shit didn't even matter. Like we weren't two guys in love, we were just people. But things have been strained for a while now and it's just hard and most of the time it feels like we've been jettisoned back to homophobic reality where everything sucks and it's tearing at us cuz him introducing me to his parents made them disown him and now that's like my fault and it's really hard and sometimes I can't help wondering if it's worth staying when I'm not even gay.

    • I mean, if you think you're bi then you still have some type of thing for him, right? I mean, if you're just settling, I would try to figure out what you want because if it's not him then it's a waste of your time and his. :/ If his parents disowned him then they were going to disown him with any other guy, so it's not your fault and it's not something I would lose sleep over. They're obviously bigots and they were not gonna accept him with any other dude, so don't take that kind of blame.

  • Communicate... COMMUnicate... COMMUNICATE..."COMMUNICATE !" It's easy to give up & hard as fuck to stick around and make it work. If you both want to make it work, it will.

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  • I've been with my girlfriend for almost 2 years in November and I feel the same way sometimes but it'd be best to talk to them cause we all just need some reassurance sometimes

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    • Did you say anything to your girlfriend? If so.. we what did you say and how did she take it?

      I think I'm quite vocal about being a little dissatisfied but I don't think he's listening. I feel like he's too comfortable with the way things are, if that makes sense?

    • Everyone is going to take things differently just the way people are. I just asked her if she still wanted to be with me she didn't take it wrong she just told me how she felt.

      So he basically doesn't try at all? How much do you guys text/ call every day

  • And that guy was me lol

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  • 2 years is not long and nowhere close to forever. You are at the turning point where the honeymoon is over and now you really get to know each other.
    Also. 2 years and you pretty much have been everywhere and done that. Now its time to see if you can look at each other for 5 minutes without saying a word. If not its over. If you can you both will be ripping each othets cloths off.

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  • Your just stuck in the Comfort zone honestly...

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  • Yea it happened to me 3 times now. I called it quits with all 3 of my past girlfriends because they became boring in bed

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  • If I was in your shoes I would leave. Obviously it's not as simple as that but I'm just answering your question.

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  • If you're not willing to have this conversation with him it won't change, you need to tell him what you want

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  • 1. Think about what you want from him, what you expect him to do.
    2. Talk to him, ask how he feel about it.
    3. Remember that you can't expect anyone to be perfect all the time. He's not, and you're not (And that's fine)

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  • If you feel like that your relationship is doomed.

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  • I am happily single for this reason. But that's me. Only you can speak for yourself. Maybe just take a break and see how you feel after?

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  • 2.7. Nope you aren't an old married couple. still in the honeymoon. Stage. Its, tough once complacent but if you love him then start suggesting activities that you think would interest both of you

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  • talk to him about it

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  • Every fucking day

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  • You can only appreciate it for what it is! Does he think its better for you than it really is?

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  • How old are you if I can ask?
    It's happened to me and a lot of people I know

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    • I'm a month and a bit away from being 22, my boyfriend is 23

  • Enjoy moments. Forget and move on. No need to feel guilty for past.

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  • Hell no

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  • 2 years? HA!

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What Girls Said 2

  • If you would regret it then you already know your answer. If I knew I would regret it, I would try to make things work until our problems were no longer fixable.

    Two years isn't too long, you're not 10 years invested into something that isn't going to work.

    I'm sure you'll figure it out the more you think about it.

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  • Its better to end it than marry a guy who isn't right for you

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