Should I be the rebound girl?

So, about a month and a half ago, I met a guy online. We met in person pretty much right away and went on a couple dates. Then I made the questionable decision of having sex with him 3 dates into it - I say questionable because, now, I feel we're in sort of a rut. We hang out, watch a movie, do it, I either go home or spend the night.

I feel like somewhere along the line we skipped a step in the dating process; I don't think we're actually getting to know eachother. Rather, I think we're kind of forging a psuedo relationship.

Anyway, that's problem one. Problem two is that he is still hung up on his ex girlfriend whom he had dated for 3 years (and lived with her), and just broke up with 3 months ago. Which kind of explains why it might be in this pseudo relationship phase - I'm probably just the rebound girl to make him feel better.

Problem two seems to have become a bigger problem over this past weekend. I was supposed to hang out with him Friday, but I canceled because I wanted to see one of my friends whom I hadn't seen in forever and wouldn't have had the chance to see for an even longer while. So, the boy and I decided to postpone till Sunday. I texted him Sunday and he said he couldn't hang out because he was exhausted from driving a couple hours from Maine - because he changed his previous plans and went up there instead. This sketched me out because his ex-gf lives in Maine.a couple hours away. Then, several cryptic, but worrying statuses popped up on Facebook. They were all saying things like 'i feel so empty' or "i hate feeling like nothing/i hate feeling expendable". The cherry on this trouble sundae is the fact that his aim profile now has these silly lyrics saying "Everyday, I pray a little bit about your love. Everyday,

you seem to be the thing I'm thinking of."

Basically, my current problem is that he imed me today and I told him I was surprised he was iming me - I called him out (not in a mean way at all) on the fact that he had some emo messages. I couldn't talk at the moment, so I said I'd talk to him later tonight.and I still have yet to talk to him. I just don't know what to do/say. Should I be the one to help him get over his gf? I feel like the answer is obvious.if he's "praying for her love". I don't know.should I give him a chance and maybe take a couple steps back to try and get to know him better and sway him from the other girl, or is it just not worth it with someone who's clearly still hung up?

Ps, when I said they broke up 3 months ago, I actually mean 4.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • you skipped the talking part, if you like him stay with him don't think of yourself as the rebound girl


What Girls Said 1

  • wowowowow. you have a very similar situation as me.

    it's so uncanny how similar it is.

    the guy I'm dealing with (met online) broke up with his ex of 3 years and whom he lived with, like 7 months ago. and I kind of jumped the gun on the sex part too >_<

    i think you definitely need to have some more communication with this guy. if you guys can't talk it out, or he can't admit the truth of his feelings for you or for his ex, then don't waste your time. if there's an honest and mutual liking between both of you, then try for it. it's gotta be a give and take.

    good luck!