Texting First, How Important Is It?


Well, I had a relationship and the girl distrusted me and didn't believe that I actually loved her. Her loss, anyway we are friends now and she has always been complaining that I don't text her first. And we talk almost everyday; she texts me.

Anyway for me, I just don't do that period. It's been my lifestyle for a long way and works when I am single... However for relationships it seems it doesn't.

I want to know some girls opinions to someone you are attracted to not texting you.

It's so hard for me to believe that not initiating conversation makes the girl thinks "It makes me feel like he doesn't want to talk to me or interested. He doesn't want to be with me"

If it is, then wow... Give me a helmet and pull me in a wagon because that is some retarded idea. It makes it seem that when we hangout, all of that is negated; just because of the fact I didn't text you first. WOW!

Anyway, give me your input


Most Helpful Girl

  • Lol well you basically already said that anyone who disagrees with your opinion is wrong and ignorant for thinking that way. But you asked for input anyway? Hmmm.

    Anyway, I definitely think if a guy isn't initiating conversations with me then he's not that interested. Mostly because I've never in my life come across a guy that was really interested in me but never texted me. None of my friends have either. Plus it makes the girl feel like she's doing all the chasing. A little chasing is fine, but being the only one to chase makes women feel bad because it's not instinctual for us to do so. Even if you're hanging out with her, she'll ultimately think of you with a negative vibe attached because she's trying harder than you are to keep contact.

    As for my personal honest opinion. If a guy I was attracted to didn't text me, I'd wonder about it for a day or 2, and then forget about him. I've had experiences with guys like that and we just don't end up getting along in any aspect of a relationship because I expect more. I end up feeling emotionally unsatisfied. So long story short, I wouldn't be attracted to that guy for long.

    I'm sure you're going to complain now and tell me how stupid that is. But quite frankly, if you need women to do all the texting, you're showing that its important to you as well. What if a woman you were attracted to never texted you? I think you'd forget about her as well considering you need a woman to do it or you just never speak.

    • Eh? I said I didn't want to change my ways. So don't assume that I am bashing people who feel different views. Hmmm. I am curious to what some girls think about it, otherwise why would I put this up?

      If I was with a women and I was attracted to her, I most definitely wouldn't text her first. If she doesn't and, as you said, move on then I suppose I would to because I don't deserve it and there are plenty of people out there. Weirdddddddd huh? Weird that it almost never happens, super wierdddd.

    • Don't assume that you're bashing people who feel different views? lol well you included in your post, "If it is, then wow... Give me a helmet and pull me in a wagon because that is some retarded idea." Interesting, that seemed like bashing to me.

      Either way you're entitled to do things your way. You just wanted an opinion as to why some girls you're with don't like it, and I was just letting you know why. And if it almost never happens, then what was the point of you asking this question?

    • The point of asking the question because it rarely happens, meaning it does happen once in a while. Otherwise it wouldn't be rare, it would be non-existant. Anyway out of the 240 people that viewed this, one of them might either oppose or agree with my terms and wondering the same thing.

      No need to argue or get upset girly. I understand sometimes people can get that way out of sheer boredom. It's OK. I appreciate your input, even if its not helpful and/or biased for a strange persona. Cheers.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 4

  • Initiating conversation with someone shows them that you're thinking of them and you care about what they have to say. If you never text your girl out of the blue (that is, when you've already shown you're perfectly capable of responding to texts from them), that indicates to them that they care a lot more about you than you do about them. That's a really bad thing, because it can lead to them thinking that "you don't care at all/don't want to talk to them/aren't really interested, so they should just move on and find someone who does care".

    There are a couple of remedies to this:

    1) Get over yourself and text her first once in a while. Yes, hanging out is great, but if that's the only time you show you care, then she's going to think something's wrong.

    2) Don't text at all, ever. Get a phone that doesn't support texting or a plan with no messaging. Problem solved! However, you'd still better call her or write her letters or contact her some other way, because even if she understands you're not texting, she still wants to know you care.

    Relationships are a two-way street, dude. You've got to put in more effort, or you're not going to get much out.

    • I am not looking for a relationship, one just popped up out of the blue. I am single and I like my way and I don't plan on changing. I just wanted opinions on the subject.

    • Well, sorry, dude. You sure seemed like you were asking about relationships, so that's the way I answered. Still solid advice for friends and other platonic relationships, though - it's not just girlfriends who want to know you give a sh*t about them.

    • You have a good point, this is just a question for the readers and just me wondering. No need to get all potty mouth about it doll.

  • It's not retarted. It just shows that you were thinking about us and you decided you missed us enough to text us. What's so bad about that?

    The reason we text a guy we like is because we're thinking about him. That makes sense right?

    So, if you never text a girl you like.. it comes across as you're not thinking about her or missing her to contact her.

    So let me get this straight, if the girl NEVER texted you first, you would just never text her? Even if you didn't talk to her for months? Of course not! At some point, you're going to miss the girl (if you really like her) and text her first.

    We just wanna know that you're thinking of us. I don't know about other girls, but I hate ALWAYS having to be the one to text first. It makes me think that I'm the one putting in all the effort and he's just talking to me because I only texted him. That annoys me so badly (because it's happened).

    Guess what? The guy really wasn't interested after all, so you see how it makes sense when a guy doesn't text you first? So, if you really like her, text her once in a while first to show her that you miss her.

  • Texting first, definitely a good idea. Girls panic and think they're just annoying you when they text first, since we tend to over think everything. I know, it's stupid. If this were actually the case, then the guy texting first would probably annoy us too, but we see it as a good thing. Also, girls will play the "you're not making an effort" card too, even though by not texting you first, we wouldn't be making an effort either. I'm guilty of this, I know it's stupid but I am. So yeah, I highly suggest texting anyone you're interested in first.

  • ok. you want to talk to us=you text/call/whatever us. you DON'T want to=you DON'T do those things. soooooooo simple.


What Guys Said 1

  • Its just the way our modern-day culture operates. Its 2010 man. These days, girls are complaining that a guy isn't saying anything on "facebook", or "isn't texting me back" or even "doesn't text more than 3 words"

    A lot of people take a lot of things in consideration. Me and my buddy were discussing these as well, and we noticed that people get emotional over the smallest of things. Things in which shouldn't have to be considered. But what do I know...

    But, again, its 2010, what do you expect...

    ...Teens will be teens...