What's the #1 reason why a person can't land a partner?

What do you think is the #1 reason a person can't land a partner?What's the #1 reason why a person can't land a partner?

  • Not good looking
    Vote A
  • No personality
    Vote B
  • Not independent
    Vote C
  • Not intellegent
    Vote D
  • Not making enough money
    Vote E
  • Lack confidence
    Vote F
  • Doesn't know how to pick up someone or doesn't know how to get someone to pick him or her up
    Vote G
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
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Most Helpful Girl

  • Some people naturally have a very easy time finding partners, and for others (probably most), it's more difficult. It's normal to have to search in order to find the right person. But I think if someone consistently has trouble finding a partner, over the course of a long period of time (years), then there are two possible reasons why:

    1. They are simply not putting themselves out there, not meeting people, not giving themselves a chance.

    2. There is something off about their personality or social skills which prevents them from properly connecting with people or makes them unappealing. Stuff like arrogance, an inappropriate sense of humor, rudeness, cruelty, etc.

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    • I think most guys who say they are shy or not confident, regardless of how they look, their intelligence, personality, humor, and salary, are going to fit into reason #1. That is because they sell themselves short. A LOT of guys do this. A lot of guys, even ones who are usually confident and outgoing, are afraid of rejection or have approach anxiety.

      Most guys who are bad looking can repackage themselves to improve their chances.
      Most guys could lower their standards If the types of women they go for keep turning them down.
      Most guys who keep being treated like friends could learn to turn on some sexual energy.
      Most guys who are insecure can still find a woman who proves them wrong.

      For me, it is obesity combined with introverted shyness and insecurity. I don't put myself into enough social situations or jump on opportunities enough. I am working on it though. By this time next year, I will look and be a completely new man.

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    • I am just giving my perspective, as a man who is shy most of the time. It takes a little bit for me to warm up to someone. I think tons of people of both sexes when then imagine a shy person, they think timid, shaky, shuttering, sweaty palms, just an overall anxious person. I used to be that person, but I evolved and I am still evolving.

      For me, is more about being introverted and being easily drained in certain social situations. For many introverts like me, we avoid social situations sometimes, and socializing is a skill that can get rusty if you don't make use of it.

      I agree completely though. Guys and gals like me need to get into warm situations to meet people and possibly escalate to a date. I know me though, even at a party with acquaintances, I'd be so shy to carry a convo unless the other person was very warm to me and made me feel comfortable.

    • @freakyzeaky I'm shy and an introvert as well. So I totally understand where you're coming from. I never said this was easy, or that it is something that comes naturally to every person. But, realistically, you have to come into contact with lots of people if you want to have a chance at meeting the right one. If you are not meeting new people, then you can't expect to find a partner.

Most Helpful Guy

  • - Being overweight

    - Being ugly

    - Having a small penis (for a guy) or having a hallway-sized vagina (for a girl)

    - Being the wrong race in a certain country or area of the country (East Asian male, East Indian male, or Arab male anywhere in America, black male or white female in East Asia, white male in Minnesota or Detroit)

    - Being a beta male (until the slutty girls that have tons of casual sex want to settle down and sucker a nice guy into marrying them and helping them raise their three biracial kids)

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    • Hallway sized vagina? Wtf is that?

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    • @Ellaki I'm already not interested in anything. I am a nihilist, and the only thing that keeps me mildly interested in existence is low-brow dark humor and provocatively trolling the uptight. You're rather uptight, by the way. It warms the cockles of my cold, dead heart knowing you are upset. Uptight snowflakes such as yourself are as fragile as china shops, and you desperately need a bull to run through you and dislodge the stick which is firmly entrenched in your nether regions.

    • @Ellaki You aren't going to change peoples's minds. People are extremely tribal by nature. Almost everyone protects their ideas even if they see they are wrong. It rarely matters to the warrior for their cause.

      Vaginas can't bring life without penises though right? The penis can therefore be similarly protected against undesirability given similar logic.

      Things are "fucked up now" due to a few reason. First people have the internet as a platform to voice their annoyances and opinions. Second recent generations were motivated to question establishments more and to try to use their own logic to question the tradition. People have always been humans. Genetics haven't changed. People are just more outraged vocally.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 16

  • Not sharing similar values or the same beliefs. Everybody has a personality, but it's about character. Looks should NEVER be the base reason why you chose to have a dating partner. But in this shallow and lustful world, that's how others want's it, but complains about what they can't get or have. Plus, independent can cause a lot of issues. If your too independent, it becomes a turn-off. Plus, who WANTS to be 'picked up'? That is a something that appalls me every time. It's like you don't even want to value who you're talking to.

    Not making enough money is something that gold-diggers concern about before dating.

    However, lack of confidence can have a factor. But again, it really depends on if who they have communicated with already knows who that person is. Lack of confidence, in my opinion, comes off to me in many ways: 1. he is not ready to lead or be a man, 2. He is not able to speak up and make his own mind. Women take's notes of these things, as guys do.

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    • This breaks my heart. I am working on it, but it reminds me of what I lack.

    • The confidence I mean. Although I think it is more so shyness and introversion.

  • I don't really know why it never works out for me. I get asked out on dates and I go but I can never like them enough to go on a second one.
    I've asked out two guys in my whole life. The first time was in high school. We ended up together but only lasted a year and a bit. Half of it had to be long distance because he had to leave.
    The second time was recently. Hopefully he'll be willing to go on a second date when I see him again in December, but I'm not sure. Even if we do, I don't think it could continue.
    Otherwise I've just had short-lasting relationships or flings.

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  • It's a combination between the last two: they lack confidence and/or the social skills to make a move on someone.
    The other attributes are important, certainly, but they're secondary to confidence and interpersonal skills. Think of it this way: no matter how beautiful, functional, or interesting an item is, if it doesn't present itself on the market, nobody is going to buy it.

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  • I voted for intelligence. Because I think in order for a relationship to work you need communication, trust and compromise. I think a lot of people aren't intelligent enough to realise that it is more important to come to a sort of an agreement/arrangement (even if it's an agreement to disagree) then be right. You also need to be intelligent enough to know which problems will go away on their own, and which ones need to be worked out through good communication.

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  • Not independent, or not intelligent. I cannot date someone less intelligent than me. Have tried it. Can't do it again.

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  • Lack of confidence and communication really

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  • I guess it is more related to confidence. If you lack confidence you fail to see and believe that someone may be interested in you.

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  • Because they don't really want to have a partner unconcsiously, even if you want, you do things that speak otherwise.

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  • Being an asshole is the number one reason, in my opinion, for men not being able to get a girlfriend. The number two reason is not having realistic standards and trying to date a gorgeous woman when the man himself is average. If you are a good guy and you have realistic standards, you should do fine.

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  • Lack confidence.

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  • Personality issues and opportunity.

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  • I think a big one is lack of confidence and no personality or conversation.
    sure looks come into it but for me unless the guy is really unattractive then if he has the personality and the humour he'd still win me over.

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  • There is no #1. It could be any of those reasons.

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  • I'm going for lack of confidence and lack of personality.

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  • Not really knowing what to do so nothing happens

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  • not good looking

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What Guys Said 24

  • They haven’t tried as hard as they could. Try asking 100 girls EVERYDAY for 1 YEAR if you can take their number to hangout. After one year, tell me you don’t have at least ONE woman who has returned your call. You’ll probably have close to a hundred lol.

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  • Confidence for sure. Being too shy, insecure, feeling inferior. Any of those neurotic conditions. These guys sell themselves short. I know I do.

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  • Lack of confidence.

    There's always someone in your league that matches with your personality who is broke just like you. But if you don't take the forward step of finding them you'll never land a partner.

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  • I think being unnattractive and lacking confidence would prevent a person from attracting a mate more than any of those other traits would.

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  • If I knew I'd tell you all about it!

    OK but seriously now, it's cultural difference for me. I am planning to write a mytake about it and explain how cultural differences are a seemingly impenetrable relationship barrier (when you're a man that is).

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  • I have all the above traits by far, but when the girl doesn't call me back I tend to overthink like A LOT.

    Then I tend to mess things up.

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  • Because he is a decent man, in a society in which women want scumbags, losers and sociopaths.

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  • In my case being ugly and being a race that all women irrationally hate (Indian)

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  • Disappointed in many people's lifestyles and morals and loses interest quickly.

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  • The reason is attractiveness usually
    More Specifically poor choices.. especially women

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  • The #1 reason is that if someone doesn't know & accept himself and doesn't trust in what can accomplish, it's very unlikely that will find a 'partner' that actually does

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  • Definitely lack of confidence. It's like you give off a "stink" when you lack confidence that sends girls the other way

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  • I don't know. I've been rejected my whole life and have tried many things. I believe i am not meant to be in a relationship anymore

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  • Not making enough money

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  • I don't put in effort. And I don't want to, I have had enough of it for life (2 years maybe?)

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  • My problems are consuming me

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  • They don't ask out enough girls for guys. For girls, they're immature.

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  • I think being shy would also be a major factor

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  • Wrong person for you and lack of charisma

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  • Its my looks preventing me from getting a girlfriend, Im too ugly to compete so why try?

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  • lack of confidence might be nr 2, but nr is ugliness

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  • Too high of expectations.

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  • Not being honest

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  • Keep acting like you'll never get a girl and you won't ever get a girl.

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