Are low maintenance women seen as cheap now?

I am new to dating (only been on 2 dates so far and I'm 21). I have talked to guys before and we "hung out" in my room or went and got Wendy's. I thought I was just being relaxed and having fun - we are college students and most of us are broke. But apparently guys take it to mean you are "easy" which hurts my feelings. I never had sex before so it really stings that people make this assumption. I always thought guys liked women who weren't after their money but clearly I was wrong - my high maintenance friends have guys falling all over them and giving them gifts, writing them letters, etc. And they aren't even in committed relationships yet, just "talking" or casually dating. They get all the guys while I'm trying to be nice and get none. Am I trippin or is are low maintenance women trashy now?

Updates:
Okay so this actually got a lot of responses lol. To clarify, no I don't invite guys to my room - that's not what I meant by low maintenance. I have noticed that I prefer different things? I like hikes and free festivals, things to do that aren't that expensive but are still fun? I've noticed men go for women that stress them out and make them work unnecessarily hard for approval - it shows the girl has high value. I don't like this idea at all
^^Meaning, I don't invite guys to my room for sex. I'm in college so everyone goes to everyone else's room - doesn't mean you are on their bed. Just the couch or something, usually the sitting area. No hanky panky takes place guys lol

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Low maintenance is irrelevant to this. If doing these things makes someone think you might be easy, then it's the hanging out in your bedroom part. If you're taking guys to your bedroom, alone, to hangout then that suggests "things" happen in there. If you want to avoid that, then make sure other people are around and leave the door open the whole time. Or just don't hangout in the bedroom.

    The concept of you and him alone in a room, with a bed says a lot to people. You have to remember you're still human. As innocent as your intentions may be. If you're alone with a guy in your bedroom, with the door closed then it will be a common assumption by many that something is going to happen, unless it's VERY clear you don't find him attractive in any way at all. Like he's a 4'2 midget, with a purple beard.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • If you give a man an easy time even if it doesn't entail sex he won't respect you. Take it from me a grown woman. They will say I am wrong but trust me.
    Just so younger girls don't get the wrong idea, a girl not worth half of what you do will get the world simply because she pressures and manipulate him, not saying you should do the same as we are simple girls, but don't make it so easy for him.
    Yes hang out sometimes, but you have no time to hang out all the time, doing the same simple stuff and make time for your female friends, don't be too available, he''l forget about you and make it about him.

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    • Thanks for not responding to my comment with immediate judgment. I think I misrepresented myself and people conclude I just have a ton of men coming to my room. Lol it's college so everyone hangs out in everyone's room - doesn't mean we are alone or on a bed. Everyone usually hangs out in the kitchen or something. I think I just prioritize different things? Any man can take me on a basic date (movie and dinner), I've done that before and didn't care for it. I wanted to get to know him well so I wanted to go for a walk (I love walks), a hike, something low commitment but private. Spending a lot of money doesn't equal quality of time spent - I can spend hours with someone at Wendy's versus 1.5 hours in a crowded Red Lobster where we can't have fun. But a lot of people just assume I'm being cheap and "easy"

    • Yes don't be low maintenance, it's how men are wired sweety, it will confuse them. No matter what they tell you, they will do more when you are more demanding. But no, you're not a bad girl and you shouldn't be ashamed of who you truly are, it's just that you'll end up being left behind.

What Guys Said 41

  • Nothing wrong with low maintenance. I like a mix of both classy moments and bummin' it moments. I go with the flow. I don't judge someone over that unless they have unrealistic expectations of relationships, like women who are only looking for a sugar daddy or a man to pay for everything.

    I think being down-to-earth is a quality to admire. I prefer a woman who is content with less, shows she can be happy without always having something to fill the void. A joyful woman makes me smile. It shows she doesn't get affected by this crazy world. It isn't so much confidence, more like... a woman who just accepts things as they come. A woman who is present. If she is present, then I could care less if she is craving Wendys, Netflix, Pajamas, and "cuddle". 😉

    Yeah, it is a shame certain lifestyles or attitudes get labeled as "easy". You need to find a guy who also is very present and takes things as they come.

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  • By 'Cheap' you mean less desirable? I think it's the opposite. The guys who are hitting on your friends are aiming for one thing. Getting laid with them. And dump the next day. You don't want a guy like that. Believe me. You will regret it in the future if you go for one of them. Normal, good men will not go for your friends. They will go for you because they know that you are not going after their money or status. They want to take things slow. And so do you. It's the perfect match. So girls that are 'Easy' or care about love are not cheap. It may seem the opposite to you based on your current experience, but that will change soon. And you will be very happy.

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    • Thanks for responding to my comment and not assuming I'm "easy." I'm not having sex or anything close to it. I may have misrepresented myself. I'm hopeful that my idea of what a good date is doesn't make me less desirable. 1/2 dates I've been on was a typical dinner-movie situation. I didn't like it bc you could copy-paste any girl in that scenario, it was so basic. I like quality time, so sitting at an expensive restaurant doesn't make me feel like I know you any better. I prefer festivals, hikes, walks, etc where we can talk freely and laugh. I'd prefer if it wasn't expensive in the first few dates bc women expect for the man to pay. How can I expect that if he doesn't know if he likes me fully or not? I like doing something cheaper in the beginning, we can both pay our own way, and then leave with no strings attached. Instead of him paying for a meal/activity and then possibly never seeing him again. That's just cruel to me

  • I don't think you're trippin, I just think you're around the wrong group of guys. Low maintenance doesn't mean trashy, it only means low maintenance. If any other person says otherwise then their simply wrong. There's no problem with how or who you are. I've never gone out with a girl, but I'd imagine going out with a girl who I can be myself around, who I could consider my best friend as well as my significant other, and that sounds like someone like you. You'll find a guy (or he'll find you) that has the vision to see how great you are. To each their own pace, right?

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  • Low maintenance is fine, but I’m guessing you have different sets of interests to the guy you’re dating.

    Hanging out and Wendy’s would kinda bore me (personally) but other guys might love it. Trust me you’re not cheap as long as you don’t ACT cheap just like girls who like expensive things are not necessarily high maintenance.

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  • No probably among guys a commodity, well poor way of putting it, but really I think girls who spend less on their looks are a much better catch, because they allow themselves room in their heads for real hobbies or interests. Also there is less superficiality. And less time getting ready to do anything.

    I mean be into fashion and whatever, you see guys wearing good fashion, and shaving, and doing their eyebrows if wanted, but no makeup. Just skin.

    Honestly I think that guys look at cleavage a lot because it is a natural skin rather than possible fake looking or semi fake looking skin on the face. Of course they would probably look at the cleavage anyways, but it is more likely to happen when the skin look natural.

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  • I must say that I have never noticed this - What maintenance level you are attracted to is a matter of personal taste - For me lower maintenance is less drama and that suits me, I feel it is impossible to make a judgement on how "Easy" she is based on maintenance level because I think desire to have or not have sex is a personal decision based on any number of factors that is such a mix it is nearly impossible to predict how any girl will react before you really got to know them - Getting back to your question it is an assumption you can't make, it is like announcing all blondes are dumb.

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  • www.court-records.net/.../miles-crossed(c).gif

    Don't worry too much about how you love life compares to your friends. The guys that are chasing your high maintenance friends are probably just looking for a chase. The whole "trophy" fuck thing I would guess.

    There's nothing wrong with low maintenance women. It only becomes a problem when those women have shitty standards for character. In short, those guys who label you "easy" aren't worth your time. It's as simple as that. Let your friends have their fun and allow yourself to have yours.

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  • im pretty sure you answered your own question. its in the statement "most of us are broke." but I dont personally think so.

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  • Because for some stupid reason, people seem to be attracted to those who either play hard to get or seem to have to impress them to get to them. With lots of flowers and gifts and what not, so as dumb as it may be, you might just come off as having low expectations/standards or are just easy to win over.

    Again this is really stupid, I personally have no issues with women who are super chill and just wanna hang around. Where as "high Maintenance" women will often come off as self entitled and full of it.

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    • Yeah it's dumb. Being chill doesn't mean having 'low expectations'. I'm chill but my expectations are pretty high to many. But instead of expectations like "Be super hot and buff, rich, take me to nice places, expensive vacations and buy me nice things and give me like all of your free time" my expectations are "Be responsible, have integrity, be loyal, be upfront and honest. Don't do drugs or drink excessively. Be respectable and respect me in turn".

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    • *put on

    • @Nyx_85 HA! finally someone who gets it. Never ask someone to do anything you aren't willing to do yourself. That's a rule to live by

  • Those high mainteance women will usually end up dating a lot of guys and having quite a few relationship. it looks great in the beginning for both of them but once they are into long term relationship things will change. Unless they are making 6 figure salary. The men won't be spending money on them forever. Typically it will be done 3 to 6 months into a relationship but since it is expensive he will eventually stop. He feels he has earned the love by buying her things but that needs to be done on a regular basis.
    With a low maintenance woman it's different, because it is cheaper to go out with her he can do in a regular basis. When i was dating this woman , I didn't buy her a dozen roses or anything expensive. I bought her a few roses weekly and bought her meals occasionally yet she fell for me hard. In the long run the low maintenance woman can win.

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  • low maintenance? as in letting me bang you or touch you all over every time i give you a piece of gum? yeah thats called slutty my friend not low maintenance and you're right guys dont take such girls seriously.

    before being low or high maintenace you need self respect and to keep guys away from your body only then they will respect you... if you're hot enough of course, if you're not on par with you friends looks wise then iam sorry but there is no way you're gonna be treated like them.

    they are probably hot which is why guys want them and even then look at the quality of guys that "Send them letters" or act lovey dovey, they are either desperate, are trying their luck to get laid and maybe one or two are genuine the rest are lying or simply have no experience with women.

    experienced men never act like that

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    • That's not what she meant by being low-maintenance. She never even mentioned how quickly she lets them in her pants. Being low-maintenance just means not expecting or requiring a guy to court or try and win you over with expensive dates or gifts before you'll consider entering a relationship with them.

    • Actually, she explicitly said she's never even had sex before. That should've been a good indicator that she's not being slutty with them.

    • Low maintenance doesn't have any sexual reference whatsoever - you can be high maintenance but have a ton of sex, or low maintenance and have none. I'm not sexually active nor have I been. Self-respect isn't as much about not having sex as it is about having boundaries and sticking to them. I don't want to have sex until a relationship so I haven't. Period. Is that not self-respect?
      Maybe you're right - perhaps I'm ugly and that's why I'm not romanced like my friends. But guess what? These same women that get a ton of expensive gifts on Valentine's Day end up with 6 different boyfriends in a year - it never lasts.

  • Do you like fake tans twice a month? Do you like mani and pedis once a week? Do you go to the salon for your hair twice a month? Do you have to upgrade your phone four times a year?
    If you answered Yes to all these questions, You are NOT my type of girl!!!
    Make sure you read those questions like a advertisement/sales person or a car dealer, something like that.

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  • You don't want those types of guys who are going after your high maintenance friends. There's a certain type of guy that goes for those types of girls.

    If what you say about yourself is true, then you'll never find happiness with those types of guys.

    Be yourself and strong in who you are so you can attract someone who will match with you. If you start acting high maintenance like your friends, then you're going to attract a different type of guy.

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  • The high maintenance ones that'll fuck you after a dozen roses and an expensive dinner are cheaper still

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  • Nah, you are great. I guess you just dont get the same exposure that the other girls get. If more guys knew about you, youd get quite a few guys that just wanna chill with you, for the long run..

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  • I much prefer cheap women. The snatch just isn't worth the cost that some broads try in get guys to pay.

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  • being low maintenance and being cheap are totally different things.

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  • Not many men like gold digger candy asses even if they are rich. For me gold digger are a bag full of crap on which rich guys wanna puke. I dont wanna gift a girl for her attention I want to gift when I know we are going good and fuck those people who say low maintenance girls are crap they are surrounded by crap people just like lotus is

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  • High maintenance and Materialistic women are unattractive. If you are none if those, you are smart and attractive.

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  • Stop dating players.

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  • I don't see them as cheap. I see them as enjoying a good time without needing to be lavished with gifts and expensive dates. It's not about how much money something costs, but the time spent with someone that matters.

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  • I prefer a girls who can see through situation... Sometimes we can go out fine dining but sometimes we can just cook simple food and eat it together is the best kind of girl i think

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  • Nope

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  • Being low maintenance is not what is making them pursue other women

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  • It really depends on the kind of guy you want.

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  • no girl
    that isn't bout expenses

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  • I don't think that all all! Girls that chill are amazing! I love it when just hanging out or something simple can be as great, or better, than something fancy.
    I'm still looking for a girl that can call deadlifts and pizza a date lol

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  • I personally wouldn't come to this conclusion based on if someone is high-maintenance or not. Someone is seen as "easy" based on their mannerisms and their behavior, not how they dress or look. At least that's how I would view it.

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  • no i would prefer someone whos with me for me

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What Girls Said 13

  • The high maintenance and low maintenance stereotype has always got on my nerves. By looks people probably consider me high maintenance because I take care of myself and I like to look nice. I have never cared for materialistic things. Never dated anyone because of how much money or what kind of car they had. I have a great career and can afford nice things for myself so I don't want or expect those things. Like you, I prefer laid back fun dates where we go hiking and stop by McDonalds drive through.
    Attraction isn't comprised of a single attribute it's a formulation of many and that formulation differs by person. You can't expect to sit in your dorm and guys fall all over you. Get involved in activities that interest you and you will meet like minded people.

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  • First of all, as a college student why is there a boy in your room, on your bed? That is enough for people to assume anything. You can't take offense at something you allowed. People gossip and people talk. And yes, as much as I do understand the low and high maintenance thing, it's like how I read on an all men forum, guys saying how they will have sex with a girl but never marry a girl who isn't a virgin. Or they want classy in the streets, freaky in the sheets. But get's mad she's freaky with other men. Can't have both. It's hypocrisy. However, again, you have to seriously pay attention to your environment and surroundings. Nobody invites a guy to a girls room just for nothing. Unless your just friends, but even that is risky as sex can and often does happen if not just a make-out session going on. So no. Be careful. That's how often college girls get's raped in dorms.

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    • I never said the guy was on my bed, or what the conditions were. I mentioned I've been on 2 dates, they were "official" dates where we went to the movies, or dinner (actually both). It was a lot of money spent and I didn't even like those men. I couldn't get to know them that well at a restaurant "on our best behavior" or at a movie where we can't talk at all.
      I do agree that some men are hypocritical with the expectations they have for women. But men/women CAN interact without sexual intentions. It's scary to assume they all have an ulterior motive. These men don't come to my bedroom, we hang out with other people or alone in my (I have roommates so our) living room. I can take offense not only on my behalf, but on the good character of the guys I know.

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    • so again if you want to be in good standing with your moral conduct in your Scholastic life you don't want to do anything that will put you in a bad position or will regret in the future.

    • no matter how innocent your actions Maybe.

  • That has to be a cultural thing in your area. Guys like me because I am not all about money.

    I am stubborn as hell, but I will date guys even if they are broke.

    I do not see you as cheap. I think it is sad that our society has come to sweet humility (like yours) as "cheap", when really, it is the rarest thing to find...

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  • Just hanging out in your room and going Wendy's doesn't sound super exciting... there's cheap or free things you can do to have fun. There's plenty of time in a relationship to just hang out in your room. People like a bit of excitement in their lives. Make memories.

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    • Lol I really misrepresented myself in that question. When I said I've been on 2 "official" dates, they were the traditional dinner-movie or dinner variety. I didn't like it because we couldn't talk freely or at all in the theatre. It was uncomfortable - I like festivals, hikes, tourist type things because they aren't that expensive and are low commitment. How can I expect the guy to pay for me when I don't even know if he likes me yet? Or if I like him? I like to pay my own way the first date at least, just so there's no strings attached. And after the first date, if I really like him, I can see him again and not feel guilty. But a lot of women assume I'm being easy by saying this, insisting that the man treat me. I don't think that's fair

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    • Well I appreciate that. A lot of people put 2 and 1 together and got 4. Like I said I misrepresented myself and people are having a field day with this. I gave the worst examples of semi-dates that I've been on that worked really well

    • Yeah I didn't assume you had sex. I merely meant, hanging out in your room isn't super exciting. People assume things, unfortunately. I didn't though.

  • I've been there before. I've always been more of the chill type of person. I would rather stay in, order some take out and play video games with my guy or cuddle while watching a movie than go to some fancy restaurant with a bunch of strangers around me. Some guys take this to mean I'll be 'chill' when it comes to having sex. Some guys also need the challenge of trying to 'woo' a girl through extravagant means. Some guys even like crazy chicks. They say they don't but I've known (by known I don't mean dated btw) multiple guys who complained about their crazy exes but then ran back to them. I once had a guy I was seeing tell me he didn't want to date me anymore because I didn't pick fights with him like his ex did. He would try to pick a fight and I would be like "Can we talk about this calmly and rationally?"

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    • Those guys are immature. You'll find someone better.

  • I think the going to your room on the first date gives off the wrong idea. But usually low maintenxe are seen as attractive.

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  • There is zero correlation to low maintanance women and trashiness.
    Also, don’t confuse “easy going” with “easy.”

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  • There's nothing wrong with just chilling and enjoying each others company, especially because we don't have a lot of money. Those are usually the best moments.

    At the same time, I can't sit in the house all the time. I want to go out and do something. We don't have to spend money or buy food but I don't want to sit in the house getting fat either. If he doesn't want to go out for something fun some times I'll get bored fast.

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  • Guys shouldn't think you are "easy", since you are not having sex with them. Being low maintenance isn't a bad thing, you just haven't met someone who really values you yet. Most guys your age are only interested in one thing.

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  • They think you are easy because you keep bringing new guys to your room. Stop that.

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  • Low maintenance isn't hanging in the house, Im pretty high maintenance and I am all for that sometimes. But he should also offer to take you out, and iM NOT TALKING ABOUT MCDONALDS. I understand men have different salaries and I respect it!!! once in a while though a guy can save for the ones he loves. It all boils down to intenet too, is he taking you to wendys because he knows you love it? or is he taking you because of another reason

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  • Ugh, I have the same sentiment as you do. Just wanted to say your question helped answer mine, too.

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  • Love isn't about how high or low maintenance are you,

    You dont flowers or stuff to feel worthy enough, at the end of the high maintenance girls feel great to be admired, but still feel sad, because those guys doesn't even have any idea what girl behind that gifts she has, those guys, admire her in her outlook, but not who she simply was..

    What im trying to say, nothing more greater than being loved and respected as simply being you

    You dont need to please men to be accepted, you dont need to hide behind status, you just need to choose right people who deserves to be part of you

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