I need some tips on how to deal with my anxiety. I have always had generalized anxiety and it is something I’ve always lived with. I am in my first romantic relationship right now for about 3 months. He’s a really great guy and we love each other a lot. I am just constantly having anxiety about it. For one, we only get to see each other on the weekends. We go to different schools during the week. And on the weekends he works as a soccer referee so our schedule revolves around his schedule. Sometimes I feel like we don’t get to see each other enough and I think that might be causing some stress also. Another thing is that I have a bad relationship with my dad. I always have had a bad relationship with him growing up. So my boyfriend is the first man I have really opened up to and let myself be close to. My critical inner voice is always so negative telling me “he’s gonna leave me” or “he doesn’t really love me”. It’s very frustrating for me. It’s causing so much unnecessary anxiety. I’m going to try to see a therapist this Friday and see how that goes. I hope it helps. If any of you have any advice or have been through this, I would really appreciate it. Thanks.
Most Helpful Guy
Most of carry around some baggage and end up sharing it with our partners. My wife's father was abusive. Even after 20 years of marriage she is still expecting me to be abusive to her. I would never do that to her. Not my style. And I know it causes issues between us. So be careful not to blow up your relationship for false reasons. Your boyfriend may not be with you forever. That is no reason to fear him being gone before it happens. Worse it could cause him to leave eventually. Self defeating behavior. Love as if it will never end.
I'd suggest you need to talk to a counselor about your Dad and work through that.
Most Helpful Girl
It's important that you don't let those pesky inner voices affect how you treat your boyfriend. Being controlling or overly concerned with his feelings about you can push him away a little, so be sure to keep that in check and communicate with him about your feelings without being demanding or sounding too doubtful. It can be taken as a bad sign if you sound unable to accept that he loves you, after all. Your therapist will have much better things to say and advise you of, but these are general pointers I use in my own relationship. In simple terms, accept his love freely and don't freak out on him when your inner critic says so. XD1