Is it really possible?

Guys, do you think it is really possible for men and women to be just friends and hang out together one on one with no physical intimacy? Like nothing else what so ever? I don't know... I've always wondered about this because I have tried to become just friends with some guys but they always thought that since I was talking to them a lot, that I liked them in more than a friend kinda way, which I did not... I only wanted to be casual friends with them and was not attracted to them physically or emotionally at all! I don't know.. if guys pursue me, will that mean that they are attracted to me.. or do some guys pursue a girl if they just want to be casual friends with them?


Most Helpful Guy

  • That simply varies from situation to situation. I mean, there are instance's out there where yes a guy and a girl can just be friends, but in most cases it is in the back of one of their minds what it would be like to be "intimate" with him/her. You just have to make things ULTRA clear at the start what it is you're looking for. With that said, they will know where you stand and should respect your 'boundaries'. If not, well then give them the boot.

    • Thanks! Yes, I agree with you. And I have made it really clear with guys... I have been blunt and verbally told them before at the beginning that I just like them as a friend, nothing more. But they all just rejected me as just friends! Like I don't get it. I would say that I don't like them in that way and that I only like them as a friend only, and then they would run away and avoid me. And I'm thinking to myself "what did I say wrong? I was trying to be clear on where I stand"..

    • Well my lady has many guiy friends, but the thing is with her she comes off very harsh in the sense of "keep your distance or you're gone" in her case, she does not even need to speak for someone to know that, it's in expression that gives it off, so in your case, maybe change your tone of voice, or how you interact with them, e.g don't give long hugs, watch how they're making eye contact etc. You should be able to tell within a few meetings with one what there intentions are. Good luck!

    • Thanks so much for all your advice and help! I really appreciate it. And yes, I'll try the things you said. :)

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What Guys Said 3

  • I'm not sure, if I had any notion I'd say you were Betsy.. But I highly doubt that.. lol

    I think it is possible, but I don't know about being good friends. Like I can be "friends" with a girl but there is a line to how much time we spend talking and hanging out.. if it becomes alot.. I will start to like said girl.. like.. Betsy. lol It's my own damn fault though.. as she was just being a good friend.. I guess.. But a lot of sh*t she let me do isn't.. idk.. I just really f***ing hate that I led myself on to her.. I think I worded that right.. I should of said.. stop.. wait.. she doesn't like me like this and backed off a bit.. I guess what happened is she was moving to better/best friend kinda area.. and I was mistaking it for.. like me area.. which I was wrong.. and.. idk.. I f***ed up. And now It's too awkward to talk to her as sh*t went down.. and I'm whiny and don't let go easily.. don't take rejection easily.. so Idk. It's over and gone with now though.. can't fix it. lol

    • Haha no, I am not Betsy, loool. Sorry to hear you had a rough time with this girl though! I hope you feel better. :) Yeah, I don't know.. I think being good or close friends with a guy, but not wanting anything else, is really hard, and if I spoke to a guy as much as I speak to my girl friends, he would think I'm coming on to him and like him in as more than a friend kinda way or whatever, when in fact I just want to be normal friends and am not attracted to him! Ugh, it's so frustrating! Lol.

    • Show All
    • You sound.. exactly like Betsy. it's scary. But we didn't meet through class.. so your not. lol Because she explained all this to me, and I tried to be her friend.. it failed miserably. Well.. really I guess I failed miserably. I ended up falling for her.. so.. when I approached her about it.. the second time.. of course I was shot down. So now.. I'm just getting over her somewhat but I doubt I'll ever forget her, but I just don't think I can be her friend. I just don't wanna hurt myself or get.

    • Haha, omg that is scary! Yes, I definitely am not Betsy... 100%. Omg, I'm so sorry you had to go through that with her. That's tough for you to be attracted to her and want more than a friendship and she doesn't. I know how that feels though. I have been attracted to some guys and been rejected very badly by them. I've been hurt a lot by some guys I really fell hard for and I am still in the process of getting over them. I was really hurt because they want nothing to do with me ever, no contact.

  • I dunno, I used to really believe that you can be really good friends with the opposite gender and it be OK, but that was just because my best friend used to be a girl. I say used to because now she is my girlfriend, and we are doing great, but obviously that kind of puts a hole in my reasoning haha.

    • Thanks for answering my question! Haha, yeah, it sucks for me because it is so easy for me to make friends with girls and I have a lot of girl friends, but with guys, it's just really hard for me to make friends with them! I'm a real talker, I love to talk and when I talk to guys, they just seem to not really talk with me much... I dunno. It's hard. LOL. But I have one guy friend that I talk a lot with, but he is gay, hahaha, so that's different. :)

  • Its possilbe, but they can misread it as interest

    • I know, I so agree! So what should I do so they don't misread it as me being interested in that way? If I go up to them and start talking to them and sit next to them and text them and all, they will think I'm interested romantically when in fact I'm not interested in dating them! I'm interested in making a new friend and getting to know them as a friend only! Does that make any sense?

What Girls Said 1

  • It happens, I've developed feelings for a lot of my close guy friends.

    But then again I've had other guy friends that I would talk to every day had a bunch of clesses with and hung out a lot, and nothing ever happened, and no one ever wanted anything to happen. So yeah it's possible to be "just" friends even if you're really close friends.

    • Okay cool, thanks for your input! :)