Guy Says Dating His Close Female Friend Would be "Too weird." What does that mean?

I dated a guy for about six months. We broke up about a month ago, but have since reconnected and are kind of feeling each other again.

One of the things that kind of contributed to our break up is a close female friend of his. He has a LOT of female friends, and he has a habit of talking about how awesome they are a lot. This close friend he's had since high school.

They are super close. She texts him a lot, and they hang out on weekends. They act in such a way her friends thought they WERE dating (and that he was gay.) He had a huge crush on her in high school, but now says dating her would be "too weird." They don't do anything physical, and when I asked if there was "someone" he said no.

What does that mean? Too weird? Does that mean he wants to, but doesn't want to ruin the friendship? Should I even bother?

PS: She seemed to get super jealous of me. He stopped calling her all together when he was dating me (for other reasons), and she got super p*ssed and said he always does that when he has a girlfriend. She also friended me, only to then DEfriend me a few months later, all without meeting me.


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What Guys Said 1

  • It's not uncommon for a guy to have a friend of the opposite sex that's much closer than a lot of guy friends he has. He can talk about relationship issues and other emotional stuff that wouldn't really find a place in "guy talk". Most of the time these friendships are really just that - he sees her as a very close friend but doesn't have any romantic interest in her.

    The fact that this guy has had a major crush on his best female friend in high school is definitely a point of concern, however. Yes it's definitely possible that he's told her enough about his life that it would be awkward to get involved romantically, but it's not easy to just stop being attracted to a person. Think about it yourself - have you ever gone from crushing on someone to not liking them anymore, if they haven't changed as a person?

    But the truth is, if he really does like you, no one else can take your place. His best female friend will be there, and will get jealous as you begin to take up more of his time, but if he really wants to be with you he'll be perfectly fine with shifting his devotion to someone he is actually romantically interested in.

    • Guess it is figuring out if he really does like me. He's said all along he does (I initiated the break up), and last night he said he thought he was over me, but I was giving him butterflies. *Throws up hands* Guess the best I can do is be myself and be awesome, and he'll either want it or not!

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