Why do men refuse to get to know you before asking for sex?

Why is it a bad thing to go on a few dates before sleeping together? Why are so many men appalled by this idea?


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What Guys Said 19

  • Too many fuckboys, not enough men

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  • men want this because all the cutler and tv ads telling them its cool to be a jerk who only want sex no cool if you want to settle down and then you have hired females on youtube saying oh i love to have sex non stop which doesn't help women's case its just this world need a big fat fix.

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  • Because men like that are impatient and inconsiderate. Women who agree are either impatient as well or lack self concern. (Or the other way around if the woman asks for it that soon.)
    In general I find it to simply be lacking wisdom. (And quite commonly intelligence as well.)

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  • It's how you break the ice... "Hey, nice to meet you! Would you like to be stabbed in the vagina by my penis until you get to the point where you start shaking and can smell colors?" lmao

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  • Where are you meeting your men? You are acting like 2-3 dates is a good time to wait and is a long time? It's not. That's moving fast.

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    • I'm aware. But even men who claim to want relationships don't seem to want to go on more than 5 dates before asking for sex

    • If you think that is too fast than your answer should be no.

    • The 3 date rule is a good thing. I wouldn't want to wait longer. If women where as sexually attracted to men as men are to women, we wouldn't have to wait at all.

  • i think you need to separate the difference between men who just want some fun as opposed to those who are seeking greater meaning

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    • I would if there was a difference, but in my experience there doesn't seem to be.

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    • To a degree...

    • Be honest from the start to them as to what you are looking for and set very clear guidelines. It often sorts the wheat from the chaff

  • I don't know. Maybe they found it's more efficient to be direct.

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  • I expect it, but I would guess it's because men are tired of being lead on. Especially when they are the ones who usually pay the bill.

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  • Dates? Ain't nobody have time for that.

    If you're going to hook up with someone, why would you waste time and money going on dates?

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  • It is obviously a problem and I couldn't tell you why, but you're also generalizing. I've gotten to know my previous and current girlfriend well and made sure that she was into it when had sex the first time

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  • We have 1 life to live, behaving according to politcal correctness dont get you happy but a slave. Have fun while you can.

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  • Not so many, just some. Choose better. Date up.

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  • LOL they only want sex, what do you expect, a lovey-dovey marriage ending?

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    • I expect to know more then just your first name before you try to put your dick in my mouth. :)

    • Than*

    • That is good, but most men nowadays are like that so what can you do? Times change.

  • Because they don't want to get attached to the girl.

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  • Because they think of the sex is bad then they don't want to know you.

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  • Some guys have a single agenda, and some women do too. That's ok, and it's best when they're able to communicate their wants clearly.

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  • Horniness

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  • As it seems like he has to pay in some kind of way to get sex. We would rather get it straight away.

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  • Some guys wanna have sex more than anything else and they are just dating to have sex with girls. They don't care about love more than sex. This relationship won't continue #BelieveThat.

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What Girls Said 5

  • Many guys simply aren't a fan of ANYTHING that delays sex. Also, they've probably had a few girls who went on a couple dates with them and ended up not having sex. Which, again, is not a bad thing; it means the girl chose not to sleep with someone she wasn't really into. But yeah, some guys don't want to chance the girl changing her mind later.

    This is why I so respect guys who ask for positive consent. My first casual hookup, the guy was constantly checking in with me to make sure I wanted it. "Is this okay?" "Can I take your shirt off?" "Are we having sex tonight?" I found it incredibly confident and caring of him to make sure everything was fine with me, and it was actually VERY arousing.

    It was a refreshing change of pace from the guys who just take what they can get, go until the girl stops them, not care that she's uncertain as long as she's letting it happen.

    Anyway, I went on a little separate rant there. To answer your question, many guys are just thirsty like that, but there are still plenty of guys out there who really value sex and take their time.

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  • Not all men are like that and you're most likely meeting the wrong ones. Men tend to be short so if they are looking for sex and just that they're pretty simple about it. I'm sure there's plenty of men out there that would at least buy you dinner before fucking you. You just have to choose carefully

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  • Refuse? Maybe because some guys just want to get it on and no strings attached.

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    • Well maybe they should be direct then. If you wanna fuck then fine but don't waste my time by asking me on a date first.

    • true. I hate being led on. just tell me straight up, hey girl i just want to get laid.

  • It's your age bracket I would assume. Are you dating in the 18-24ish age bracket? NOT ALL (for all the young gents seeking true love) but certainly a great deal of that age group is seeking fun and sex, not future and relationship. Filter until you find that true love gent, or date older.

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    • I'm 23 so most men I date are at least 2 years older.

  • Yhey just want sex

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