I'm walking away from my boyfriend and even though I like him a lot and care about him, thought I would spend my life with him but he has become toxic, controlling, manipulative and disruptive in my life and was draining my confidence out. He has issues going on about himself and seems to always blame me for everything, yet has the ability to make it seem like I was wrong. My friends say how I don't smile as bright as I used to now. I initially broke it off twice, but thought we could work on it, didn't really work as it was on and off for a month. He broke up with me, but came begging back very quickly and saying he will change. I decided to move on and walk away, but I feel heartless and selfish that I'm not staying because he asks where is the empathy and love anymore. Am I heartless to walk away from him when there are still feelings for him?
Most Helpful Guy
No. You're not heartless to walk away from him. Simply put nobody ever gets over someone they were close with. No matter what happens or how much time passes, you still retain a fraction of the feelings you had. You never truly get over your feelings.
Relationships shatter at one point or another and what you should be looking for is comfort. If you're not the one with the shortcomings then you need not hate yourself over your decision. Having second thoughts is normal and humane. Move on. Make yourself happy. Don't look back. Learn from your mistakes (referring to the times you broke it off and got back together) because in the end after the dust settles, all you're really left with is a lesson to learn. Best of luck with your future and I hope you find happiness in the short future.
Most Helpful Girl
He is emotionally abusing you.
Yes he's going through some stuff, but that doesn't mean he can take it out on you! Or anyone else. He needs to learn this before he ends up in trouble with the law, or moving on to another kind of abuse...
Leaving him, and communicating to him why, may be the best thing you can do *for him*.
But don't ever go back again. People don't change quickly, and even as friends it'll be far too easy for him to slip back into emotionally abusing you.
Do what's best for you (staying away) and hold on to the fact that it's probably best for him too, even if he doesn't realise it.
We have to put ourselves first. How can you help anyone else if you're drained? The fact that you're hurt by his accusation that you don't care, is proof that you do care, you have empathy and you have a heart. Repeatedly telling you don't is emotional abuse!!
You're strong enough to do this. X2