Am I heartless and selfish for walking away from a toxic boyfriend?

I'm walking away from my boyfriend and even though I like him a lot and care about him, thought I would spend my life with him but he has become toxic, controlling, manipulative and disruptive in my life and was draining my confidence out. He has issues going on about himself and seems to always blame me for everything, yet has the ability to make it seem like I was wrong. My friends say how I don't smile as bright as I used to now. I initially broke it off twice, but thought we could work on it, didn't really work as it was on and off for a month. He broke up with me, but came begging back very quickly and saying he will change. I decided to move on and walk away, but I feel heartless and selfish that I'm not staying because he asks where is the empathy and love anymore. Am I heartless to walk away from him when there are still feelings for him?


1|0
1910

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 10

  • No you're strong to walk away , you need to move on , ofc easier said than done but it's a toxic realtionship it's like throwing yourself into the fire and loving it , your heart ain't always right always choose with your mind in relationships , all the best.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Don't walk away, run.

    3|0
    0|0
  • No. You're not heartless to walk away from him. Simply put nobody ever gets over someone they were close with. No matter what happens or how much time passes, you still retain a fraction of the feelings you had. You never truly get over your feelings.

    Relationships shatter at one point or another and what you should be looking for is comfort. If you're not the one with the shortcomings then you need not hate yourself over your decision. Having second thoughts is normal and humane. Move on. Make yourself happy. Don't look back. Learn from your mistakes (referring to the times you broke it off and got back together) because in the end after the dust settles, all you're really left with is a lesson to learn. Best of luck with your future and I hope you find happiness in the short future.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Run. you just said he's toxic and hurtful, that is a smart thing to do

    1|0
    0|0
  • walk away now and be better for it then go down a path if destruction that you will regret later in life

    2|0
    0|0
  • No, toxic people are to be left

    0|0
    0|0
  • If he is like that, I'd drop his ass the second I could.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Are you sure is your boyfriend? Cause you just described every man's last girlfriend...

    0|0
    2|0
  • Now a days true love is very rare. Hard to find. Now everyone are back of temporary pleasure

    0|0
    0|0
  • If it's toxic then you need to step away, for your own happiness

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 19

  • not heartless. sensible.

    3|0
    0|0
  • What he does to you is called gaslighting. Look it up. He also sounds like he narcissistic. The father of my son was like that. I left him. At times, I felt that way but I also knew I deserve better. He needs help. What you allow will continue. How he treats you is not right. You have every right to walk away and it is not selfish at all. It's called having respect for yourself. Walking away is the right thing to do and don't let him guilt you into coming back bc it will continue. You deserve better and you can't find better if you are with him and now that you have walked away, I recommend taking time for yourself to find the old happy you again before you start dating again. Good luck!

    0|0
    0|0
  • Please, run, as fast as you can, never look back.
    In this life there are only two kinds of problems (no more): Yours and NOT yours.
    This is not yours.
    He (and/or his friends) will, maybe, call you "heartless and selfish". That is their problem, if he has not figured out how to "adult" a relationship, that is also his problem.
    When you are finally at a safe distance (both physical and emotional) make an assessment on your own behaviour and assume your responsibility on the outcome. You will grow and learn how never fall back in a situation like this one.

    0|0
    0|0
  • No you aren't. Run. Fast. And NEVER look back no matter how hard it gets or how much you may miss him. Toxic relationships are not healthy. His controlling nature won't change, it'll only esculate. Pretty soon he'll run your whole life if you let him. You deserve better.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Your happiness is not an acceptable price to pay for someone else to be happy. If your friends say you don't smile much anymore, leave.

    Relationships should be good for both people. If it's not, you do not owe it to them to be miserable to make them happy.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I don't think it's selfish, but I always think you should at least try twice. If they fail to change on the second chance cut them off

    0|0
    0|0
  • No what you were dating is a narcissistic sociopath.
    No one should take your self worth and ruin it. No one should blame you for how they feel. People like that need help and you aren't the one who can give it. You have to do what's best for you.

    0|0
    0|0
  • He is emotionally abusing you.

    Yes he's going through some stuff, but that doesn't mean he can take it out on you! Or anyone else. He needs to learn this before he ends up in trouble with the law, or moving on to another kind of abuse...
    Leaving him, and communicating to him why, may be the best thing you can do *for him*.

    But don't ever go back again. People don't change quickly, and even as friends it'll be far too easy for him to slip back into emotionally abusing you.

    Do what's best for you (staying away) and hold on to the fact that it's probably best for him too, even if he doesn't realise it.

    We have to put ourselves first. How can you help anyone else if you're drained? The fact that you're hurt by his accusation that you don't care, is proof that you do care, you have empathy and you have a heart. Repeatedly telling you don't is emotional abuse!!
    You're strong enough to do this. X

    1|1
    0|0
  • I wish l had the strength to do what you have. You aren't heartless you're logical and strong.

    0|0
    0|0
  • You made a good choice cause only way it end with someone in prison and dead. And if you had children they learn from the both of you. I do watch ID little to much.

    0|0
    0|0
  • If he's toxic, no. You're smart.

    0|0
    0|0
  • No you did the right thing your strong my boyfriend is the same way how did u do it how did u get the strength to walk away?

    0|0
    0|0
  • u better run and don't take him back

    0|0
    0|0
  • You just did what is right and you've learn how to give your self the "respect" that you needed. I'm proud of you and please don't be sad.. smile😊

    0|0
    0|0
  • No your not heartless nor selfish but that's the only way we should learn to speak our minds

    0|0
    0|0
  • You did the right thing

    0|0
    0|0
  • I was stuck in a relationship like this but I walked away. I feel you should walk away too

    0|0
    0|0
  • You get yourself a distraction until you’re completely over him.

    0|0
    0|0
  • You're not heartless, you're teaching him to be a better person by showing his inacceptable behavior has consequences.

    0|0
    0|0
Loading... ;