I'm feeling a little lost. any advice?

--I have been in my fair share of relationships in my 25 years. But this last break up is eating at me more than usual and I can't figure out why.

We split about a month ago and we only dated 3 months.

I can't stop waking up in the middle of the night thinking about this girl. 7 o'clock sharp every morning, never fails I wake up feel lost and smoke a cigarette and go back to bed. Today its about hit its tipping point tho. I can't stand it any longer and its not like it was a long relationship or anything really serious. But for some odd reason that baffles me I can't understand y I am this dysfunctional, this is never very hard for me. Those feelings normally pass after a week or so. And get better not worse, like this.

I haven't really had anything serious in the past two years been extremely cautious to get into anything again. And that's why I stepped out of this relationship too.

I guess I'm just stuck cause I really don't wanna b with her. But she won't quit running through my thoughts. But I know why I left and it wasn't anything serious just a character flaw I didn't like call me shallow I guess. I am not looking for perfect just not going to be blind folded to the things that can cause problems later.

What do I do?


Most Helpful Girl

  • My guess is, it has something to do with the timing in your life. It's not about her, and it's not because you're going nuts or anything. It's just that maybe you're at a point in your life where you really do want a more serious relationship. She's just a symbol of a potential girlfriend in your mind, so it keeps bringing it up in your thoughts.

    • Wow, that's what I was thinking also in a small way hope the question didn't forshodow your answer. She was great girl but I just run away to be single again right after I start getting to attached. Thr is somethin wrong with me.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • you got to sit down maybe write down some good points about her and bad points about her. weight it out logically. Is she really good for you or are you putting her on a pedestal?

    I'm asking this because it's normal after a short period following a break up, one starts to realize a rosy and happy image of their ex gf/ ex-bf and it's normal. I've been thinking about my ex-bf for a while, actually a month ago we split also .

    If she is a good girl over all and you split for one shallow reason and you still have feelings for her, why not give it another chance though? But think about it carefully which you are doing, that's good but don't let the past make you 'afraid' or 'too cautious' to take a chance. As long as you use common sense and are careful about what needs attention, then relationships will be fine. they are going to have some risk factor of not working out always. I guess I'm like that too. anyways good luck.

  • I think you're in denial because you may have gotten hurt before so you're scared to commit in this relationship. This is just an assumption because I don't know the reason behind why you broke up with her or what kind of person she is.

    It seems to me that you want this relationship and I think that you should be a risk taker and go in for the kill and just be with her. Problems always arise in relationships but if you really want that relationship you would do almost anything to make it better.

    If there is a "character flaw" that you don't like about her, that's only one thing. She could have 10 flaws but 50 great things about her.

    I'm sure you'll make the right decision. If you don't think it'll work and you don't want to waste your time then let time take away all that confusion. Until you clear your head and realize what you really want, that confusion and thought of her won't go away.


What Guys Said 2

  • I have the same problem! Its even more strange because my relationship also only lasted 3 months. And sometimes it just makes me sick when I think about how good it was for that short time. I'm still in the same position as you, but I find I start to forget her when I concentrate on other women. Try that?

  • Why did you end the relationship?

    What do you think about exactly when you think about her?

    • I ended it because of her attitude I guess more like an excuse really.

      And I think about the good qualities of her. its nothing I haven't thought about before in a break up just this one is haunting me.

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