How long should it take a person to get over their first love?


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What Guys Said 186

  • You never "get over" your first love. You just move forward and the pain slowly recedes. You will probably always have some feelings for him but those feelings will be tucked away in a distant corner of your heart.

    I attended my 45th high school reunion this past summer and was nervous about seeing the girl who was my first love! Really. (I didn't know before I arrived, but she did not attend even though she still lives here.)

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    • Not really, I hate my first love because we fought numerous times and I felt like I was always second to her best friend.

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    • This is amazing! So cute

    • That’s cute but definitely does not apply to me at all.

  • A first is always a first. I believe you will never 100% get over it because they hold that special place in our hearts. Sure we don´t love them or want them like we used to do, so technically we move on. But there´s always that teeny tiny bit inside us that hopes it would have worked out.

    As to how long does it take to move in (in the sence where you are ready for another relationship) it can take anywhere from couple weeks to years depending on your personality and the relationship itself. For me it took 2 months and 1 rebound. I still care for that girl and hope she´s doing well, but surely have moved on - had a 3,5y relationship after her - without any hard feelings. Take your time and don´t consider what others think. Take all the time you need :)

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  • Three months. If you're taking longer than that, then you're doing things to keep yourself in misery. First loves are always tough because you're young, you're hormonal, and everything is so new, but at some point, you'll realize that that's all it was really all about. He or she wasn't perfect, they just happened to be first.

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  • You don't. You learn to live with it, and it can provide perspective. But it isn't something you just move past completely. It meant something to you, you'll embrace that, it'll have its place, don't cheapen it by trying to consign it to nothingness, something meaningful, though painful, is still an important part of your journey

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  • depends on person to person.. and the love or understanding between them.
    girls they cry initially but they get a guy very easily but boys they may enjoy initially but they always miss ex. if he is not a player or promiscuous guy.
    for me My ex is married since 2014 but i still love her miss her sometimes. because after her i never found a girl who have such qualities. and you believe it or not still if i ever see her in dream if it was bad my mood was really bad for whole day or 2 but if it was nice i enjoy my day fully, it changes my mood.

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    • Did you break her with her or she did it?

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  • It took me like two years to get over my 8th grade girlfriend haha. I grew a lot as a person, and eventually accepted that life isn't always peaches. Just don't grab a peach like that until you are absolutely ready again.

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  • My first girlfriend tore my heart out in 1978, which was 39 years ago.
    The experience changed my soul and left me psychologically incapable of feeling romantic love for a female.
    Therefore, it can be said that I am not over her, or will be until I die.

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  • Thats the one that hurts it's a brand new experience we've never been through before we can't understand why or what happened because it's all new to us I like to look at it as if all the pain that we feel is really all the love that we have to offer somebody all the pain that we feel is really anger towards our self because we let them in so deep the only advice I can give you is you'll get over it when you want to get over it it's your choice how long it takes

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  • Honestly got to go with OlderandWiser on this one. For the most part I never think about her but when she pops up or someone mentions her it's hard not to get sentimental. Always remember why it didn't work but the impact she had on who I am as a person can not be understated.

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  • Depends on you as a person and how much they meant to you. I've moved on but im not over my first. She remade my world and me.

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  • If you date someone new it takes less time. If you don’t it could take 10-50 years

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  • It can take anwhere from seconds to as long as for the rest of their life.

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  • When you love someone or had great time or feelings towards someone, that is something you could never forget or erase. All you can do is learn from it and move on by being single first, take some time to understand yourself in then get back on track.

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  • Until the second one comes...

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    • That's a great way to looks at things. And my view exactly. Lovers come and go, you stay.

  • never, if the love if true

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  • Took me about 2 years but like getting cut deep in real life the scar is always there, it has residual affects, kinda puts you in a place were it is gana take the right girls healing love to finally wash the rest away. Good thing most girls are not so willing to really understand and try to be that. So it takes a bad chick to make up for it. It's not about being still in love with that girl as much as it is the memory of what happens when he opens up and is venerable.

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  • That’s a hard question to answer, some take it well and some sob for days and both of they answers are completely fine it’s just who you are, I’d say just take as much time as you want, it’s not a race haha.

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  • 2.198 seconds!

    tbh though, you aren't going to get over it...
    unless you were given a legitimate reason to hate them.

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  • A few months

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  • Never just move on and keep loving lmao

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  • Sometimes, if it's a real first love, you never really get over it.

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  • I don't think you ever truly get over it, but you can move on from it and find new love. Love isn't linear, each connection you make with a person has its own progressive scale, love and feelings make imprints on your mind, bonds if you will. When you find love with someone new that is greater than the one before it, then the first love will br superceeded. Think of relationships as lanes in a running race, each new connection adds a new lane, but tge strongest love will reach the finish line while all other stop in their tracks.

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  • For men sometimes takes years. Women somewhere between 10 to 20 minutes on average.

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    • I wish I could disagree, but I had a friend that got broken up with by her first boyfriend who she'd been with for almost an entire year and she claimed to be completely fine half an hour later.

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    • It's because men and women fell it differently..

    • Not all the women. It took me 4 years. Depends on the girl and if she was « truly » in love.

  • Me, I couldn't care anymore. She screwed me over just to do what she wanted. She ripped apart the very foundation and I built myself up.
    It had taken me around a year, kept getting fed chocolate and biscuits (Silly because I am now lactose intolerant, and sugar induced food is never the substitute to go through with your emotions)

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  • Absolutely subjective - there is no set time.

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  • Only until they find a new first love so to speak. I'm not spoiled like most. When I fall in love again, it's always madly.

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  • 2 years 9 months

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  • x < 2x < 2y time, here x represents time spend with while being in relationship and y represents time spend while being just a friend

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    • My bad y = sum of relationship + friendship time spend in totality

  • So far, 7 years and still into her. Lol

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  • Some say that your first love never really dies, though it does get weaker, it never really breaks.

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What Girls Said 69

  • I disagree with some users who are saying you never get over your first love and that you'll always have feelings for them, because everyone is different. Some people are stronger than others

    . I have no feelings for my first love. I'm different person to what I was when I was with him. My feelings faded when we split up. During my personal growth my mindset and outlook changed. So did my wants, needs and desires So if I'd met my first love now he , instead of when I was younger i wouldn't be interested in him because he wouldn't be right for me.


    People who are emotionally and mentally healthly move on after their first love. They don't hold onto the past

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  • I think it depends on the individual person, how long you were together, the circumstances of the relationship and your breakup, etc. I don't think there's a "one size fits all" time frame. For me, I was with my ex for 6 years and I can honestly say I was completely over him after a few months. I'm kind of surprised though at all of the answers here saying "you never get over them." That just seems... sad to me. I couldn't imagine spending my whole life still having feelings or any sort of emotional attachment towards an ex.

    To be fair though, my first relationship wasn't very good. Even though I can say for certain that I did love him at one point, due to certain events in the relationship I emotionally checked out long before it officially ended. It was a clean break and I didn't speak to him anymore after that. I'm in a happy relationship now and I don't hate my ex, but I definitely don't have any feelings for him. I can appreciate him and the experiences I gained from that relationship but I don't feel anything beyond that.

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  • Almost 20 years now and I'm still not over him! Good thing though because I'm married to him 😍

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  • Until you meet the person who will make you feel love like it's your first time.

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  • I really think It's too pathetic to never get over your first love. I know It's very flattering when you are someone's first love and he never forgets you and compares every girl to you but I would never want to have things with a guy like that unless I am a first love of course :)
    I am all about romance and all but never getting over someone? Too pathetic.

    I don't want a territory ruined by another conquerer and in my eyes It takes a too weak of a person to let someone ruin you that way that you can't build yourself again.

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    • What I am gonna teach my kids is that they should never cry over some casual girl/guy who has millions of counterparts.
      Instead of being hurt, be dissappointed that you chose a wrong person for giving your love to, because if he wasn't a wrong person he would still be by your side.
      I've loved a couple of times and every time It felt special, you should never let anyone to strip you off with your enthusiasm and belief in future.
      You should look forward instead of idealizing the past because no matter what happened in the past, you CAN always make it better in the future.
      Crying and being sad is very natural but no one deserves you to lose years for dreaming about them. Because who they are? Do you really have so low self-esteem that you think you will never ever have anything special like that?
      The secret of romance is in your mind not in someone else.
      Think of the reasons you broke up, remember times they made you feel bad and be happy It ended.

    • Thank them for teaching what they taught you and move on so you can use this experience with the love of your life, that will eventually come in your life, if you open when it knocks.

    • Great reply FemmeFatale. 👏 A chapter in your life.

  • It took me 7 years to get over it. Well, he was my middle school mate and we went o different high school, but I still liked him. Then we met again in college and I finally got the courage to tell him I had a big crush on him. All he said was "I knew." Haha, had to move on after that.

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  • I hope I never find out

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  • However long you need. Could be a week or several years. What’s important is that you give yourself as much time as you need and that you don’t try to force yourself.

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  • There’s no formula or definite time frame. It took me months and tons of ice cream and tears. I’m not kidding when I say I cried for over a week straight. I would sit on my bed, stare at his picture, and cry. After that, I couldn’t hear his name for the next two months without getting sad. But one of my friends got over her first love in a couple weeks. You have to do it in your own time. If it takes a long time, that’s fine. If you get over him quickly, that’s fine too. When ready and you’re over him, you’ll know.

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  • There is no time set for that. That's based on choice and what you did with them. You can get over that person, but you may never forget.

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  • Each person moves as a different pace, there's no right or wrong answer to this.

    It probably depends on one's perspective.. How they choose to get over their loss, and how soon they meet the next person that makes them want to open themselves up again.

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  • That varies from person to person because I forced myself at 16 to get over my boyfriend because he had cheated on me & I broke up with him. However my friend now is 21 & she won't ever get over her boyfriend. They break up over & over & over again but always get back together or something. It's a vicious cycle & I wish she would find a good guy..

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  • I don't know, however long it needs to take. Everyone gets over heartache at their own pace. Some need a few weeks, a month, or maybe a year. I didn't grow up having a first love but I know the feeling. Also if that person shows signs that they are not over their ex and are jumping into dating/relationships anyways, save yourself and don't get involved with them. It will only hurt you once you realize you're the rebound.

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  • forever, never forgotten

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  • You never get over any person you have truly loved. You just learn to move forward with your life and they become a memory

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  • Its different for everyone person, i guess it depends on how much they really cared about them. Some it takes weeks, some months, but some even takes years.

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  • If it’s true love, never.

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  • If you've love him/her so much that you gave him/her all your love, and then they hurt you, it'll be very hard to get over him/her. I'm still going through this phase its really hard falling in love with another person when you loved your ex for so long.

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  • Dude I'm marrying mine. I don't think you get over it lol

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  • You never truly get over them. It takes a long time some people even longer. I’m still getting over mine

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  • Depends on the how long it lasted. My first love lasted 2 months and it was the whole “we are going to be together forever” which apparently all first relationships are like that. It took me a year to get over him, even longer to stop thinking about him.

    Having recently spoken to my first love, I’m glad we didn’t last. In it’s own way it gave me closure as he was more interested in sex than loyalty... which I shouldn’t be too surprised as he cheated on me.

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  • Took me 6 months... quicker than i thought it would.. but i realised he was a tool so that helped big time!!

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  • I think it depends on the person and how much they actually loved/liked them. My first crush is not my first love so it's a little complicated. My first crush was in kindergarden while my first love was in eighth grade and I haven't gotten over him yet.

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  • Never, they stay with you all your life. Maybe not in person but there will always be a part of you that never gets over them.

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  • I think it all depends on the person and how much love they had in their heart for the other person. I also think it depends on how the break up went down. I, for one, have had my heart completely ripped apart by three men that I loved incredibly and I'm still breathing. I do know, that no matter how much they hurt my heart, there were also great times shared with them.

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  • Depends on the person and circumstances. Took me 9 months after being with my first love 1 year 2 months.

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  • Try improving your self-esteem instead. You don't need another person to make you happy, because you are enough.
    It took me a year to completely get over my first love, even though we only dated for a few months. Now it takes me less time to get over an ex because I know that I am enough to make myself happy and I don't need someone else to validate me.

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  • It all depends on you... it took me 8 years even when I was in another relationship I still was I. Love with my first

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  • It took me 4 years. Even tho I was in a happy relationship, he was still in the back of my mind. Now we are friends.
    He is a sweet memory of my past.

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  • It never really leaves fully, but it hurts less in time

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