What's your opinion on dating/starting a relationship with someone when you still love, miss and think about your ex?


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What Girls Said 20

  • That's rebounding and using someone else to get over or get back at you're ex. It's never good to date while still heartbroken over an ex cause your heart is still with them. It's also not fair to the other person cause they may truly have feelings for them but the feeling isn't mutual. It's basically wasting time

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  • The guy I'm seeing mentions his ex (es) literally every time we're together, and I try to be cool and understanding that they went through a lot together and of course there's still attachments, but I will tell you right now that my heart breaks every time he mentions her. I'm there, texting every morning and night, I'm the one talking to him for hours, I'm the one bringing him dinner, I'm the one having sex with him and sleeping in his bed, but he can't get over her and I can't tell you how many times I've cried because of it. I don't doubt that he cares for me, but I regret getting involved with him because he has healing to do, and I found that out too late.

    Don't drag someone into it if you're not over her. You're going to tear her apart.

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  • I think it is okay to try to move on by dating someone else. If you realize the feelings for your ex are too strong you can always explain why to that person.

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  • Why do you still have feelings for the ex?
    How long have you been apart and what is the situation in terms of contact/friends with the ex?
    Do you have any feelings at all for the new girl?

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    • I was crazy about her, she was my soulmate, I always figured we'd make a future together. I still want that future, but I screwed up, bad, and she's met someone else and seems happy. I've tried being friends with her but she prefers to keep distance and won't contact me. So we're really not talking. It's been 1,5 years since I last hold her. She's not mad at me anymore but I 'm not sure I actually exist in her life at all.
      I like the new girl, she's attractive, but I find myself thinking about and missing my ex more than her. I don't feel that strong for her but she's nice.

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    • Yes she does and i don't know if there's anything that could make her change her mind. She acts nice and polite when I contact her and casually chats back but won't make any attempt contacting me.

      I didn't cheat on her but i did hurt her both before and after the break up and the break up was mostly my fault. I made the break up even worse for her by showing off other girls because I was hurt and I wanted her to be jealous. Stupid I know. She cut all contact and left me crying after her.

    • I see. So you've tried to straighten things out but its never been enough to get her back.
      It may be that you have to accept that she has moved on and found love with someone else.

  • Then you don't truly love the person you have a relationship with. You don't need to be in a relationship.

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  • I couldn't do it because I know I love someone else

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  • There's pros and cons. Con: you could constantly compare the one you're dating to your ex. Endlessly. Con: Resent him Cuz he's not your ex.. con: try and turn him into your ex.

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  • It’s called a rebound and while it may help the dumpee in the short run, it’s not fair to the new person and not healthy for the dumpee in getting closure.

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  • It's called a rebound.

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  • It won't be healthy.

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  • Can you try and fix things with the ex?

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    • I think she's seeing someone else. Her status still says "single" but I know who the guy is.. And I'm kinda sorta in a relationship with someone else as well. She's not quite like my ex, but my ex cut all contact with me so... Although! My ex liked a link I posted yesterday, so she DOES still follow me, I was pretty sure she didn't, she never likes anything I post and won't start a conversation with me, ever, about anything.

    • Maybe she is shy... doesn’t want to bother you on social media...

  • It can help you move on honestly. The ex is an ex for a reason

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  • Nothing good will happen in a new relationship if you are bringing old baggage.
    You have to completely cleanse and purify your heart before investing in something new. That usually takes just over a year depending on how emotionally mature you are. :) good luck

    Try not to continue the cycle of heartbreak and truly learn from the last. People shouldn't be treated as disposable although not saying every relationship has to last forever.

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  • it's unfair to your new person

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  • I think it's wrong, very wrong. You date someone you should be fully committed to them and then only.

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  • Not a good idea. You're just wasting someone's time.

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  • Well I still love, miss, AND think about my ex, but then I really want to date this guy I really like... But dating someone while you're still hung up on your ex isn't good.

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  • Never a good idea. You’ll compare the two and miss your ex. It’s unfair to both of you.

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  • It works to an extent but it can hurt the other person. If you know both of you aren’t serious about the relationship then casual dating can work to help you forget.

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  • it's a good idea because it makes you think less about your ex and more about this new person, keeping you away from sad thoughts
    i used this "cure" a couple of times and it always worked

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What Guys Said 5

  • nothing wrong with it, but expect internal conflict as you try and figure out your feelings about the new person and the old one.

    maybe be honest with anyone you are starting a serious relationship with, but otherwise those feelings are yours and yours alone.

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  • This is called a rebound and rarely works. If your partner is serious about you then you are wasting their time completely

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  • You will ALWAYS love/miss/think about your ex, in my opinion. I still do that about my first crush, way back in grade school. And every woman since. So don't let that keep you from seeking the next one...

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  • always a bad idea this is where rebounds and pain come from

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  • Second love is medicine for first one

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    • So not over the ex and only using the second partner? Do you think it can work (Either the second relationship or getting over the ex that way?)?

    • It will work. Psychologically you should think something else to forget other things. So go with good guy and enjoy relationship. U will surely forget him.

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