Am I really this bad?

So... i feel like I am not in love with my boyfriend... I love him but I dont feel in love. What do I do? Is this normal? Guys and girls, how do you deal with this feelings and what would u do if you were in my situation?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well first off how long have you known one another, then ask yourself how long have you two considered yourselves in a relationship?

    Not to sound like a savage, but it's difficult for me to "LOVE" someone in a few hours let alone in 6 months. Although I'm an analytical person anyway. I prefer to study who I'm dealing with before I start /falling in love/. Their good days, their BS days are important in how they deal with you and how you deal with them.

    In my opinion, "love at first site" and "fate" are phrases of blind ignorant desperation. It turns into a double edge sword and ends up cutting themselves in the end more times than none. That's how a person becomes more desperate without knowing, and depression because they think no one loves them.

    Don't run in so fast. Take the time to study that person, visa versa.

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    • Honestly... its probably my mistake. Embarrassing as this sound, i feel like I only ever gave him a chance when he gave me a kiss when we met. It was night time... the next day i saw him, i literally asked myself if i found him attractive. I remember myself thinking that i dont find.. Ya see we are in LDR at the moment.. but I don't know. Just different. When were good were good but when were not, i feel like ok, be like that and then i dont tend to worry soo much. Sometimes im scared that i prolly dont care about him too much.. I don't know.

    • It sounds like you both jumped over the edge without looking at how far down it was. NOT ALWAYS A BAD THING. However, you seemed to have went off a blind first emotion, cute but sketchy.

      To me it all sounds like a dare. If you want to get out this boat of "false love/crush" talk to him about it. Ask him if it was just an impulse or was it real.

      If it's real and you want to keep it going, then take as much time as you want to cultivate the relationship for you to feel real love. If it's fake, then work on backing out to where it was just friendship.

Most Helpful Girl

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What Guys Said 15

  • Love is hard to figure out. In tough situations like this I tend to sit down and write exactly what happens and exactly how I feel. It's old school, but something about putting your thoughts onto paper really clears the mind out of the "I don't know" scenario. Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't, different for everyone, otherwise the top comments in this section have some pretty good advice in them :)

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  • I would try to figure out how I am feeling and why. Like if the relationship is feeling stagnant then there may be a need for change.. sometimes we outgrow people and it's time for change or a break. Sometimes you gotta figure out what's going on with you before you can properly give yourself to another

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  • Why would it make you bad? It would make you honest. Now you need to decide what you want to do about that and the most obvious answer is that you need to break up with him.

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  • Don't look at if from a "love but not in love" perspective. That can be very ambiguous. Rather ask yourself some specific questions. 1) is this still a romantic relationship or have you moved into a platonic relationship? 2) are you with him because you want to or because that's just how things are now? Etc.

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  • As long as you don't start throwing high fives while you two are you know, then you should be in good shape. People change all the time and sometimes together and not together. This won't be the first time in history and definitely won't be the last. Can I ask you, who's the new guy you have eyes for?

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    • Just some guy at work. Started like that really. Never realised it until he showed signs of avoiding me... and since then, i have times where id ask myself if i can really stay with my current in the long run... which i really shouldn't be asking if im really that in love.. thing is, I've been inlove before and it was intense. My current, altho an LDR feels more relaxed.. sometimes i feel like there's no drive at all. I don't know really.

    • I respect your honesty and the fact you're good enough of a person to your current to cut him loose. Everyone should follow suit. If you're ever in Waterloo, lemme know if you wanna grab a coffee. I'm brand new to the region and keep getting lost out here! Lol. Take care.

  • Every single relationship will eventually pass the butterfly stage, it is inevitable. What dictates whether you should stay in a relationship is whether you love the person, and can see yourself in that relationship indefinitely. It's not realistic to think that you'll be "in" love with your partner indefinitely, because just as you are no longer in love with your partner, your partner may very well not be in love with you anymore either. It's just human nature. That being said, most people never listen to this advice, it's just one of those things most people realize after a few relationships in. Good luck.

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  • I'd break the fuck up, life is too short for wasting time and wondering if you love them or what.
    You're 25, you shouldn't really be wasting your time.

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  • U should try flirting with me U will definitely feel that u r in love with me😘😘

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  • It's inevitable. No romance lasts forever, it's against human nature.

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  • Yeah

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  • You are still immature 😪

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  • If you're in love, you'll know it.

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  • Leave him x

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  • I just njoy sex rather than fall in Stupid love...

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  • your not bad. it happens. time to move on.

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