Is it ethical to go after a girl in an abusive relationship?

I've been hanging out with this girl for the past 2 weeks and I'm developing feelings for her but she is in an abusive relationship. I need advice on what I should do

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Most Helpful Girl

  • If she wants to stay in that relationship, it's up to her. You can express your worries or go after her, but I doubt she'll listen to you. People who are in abusive relationships usually don't see it, or don't think it's that bad. Maybe talking to one of her friends about it (the nature of her relationship, not the fact that you want her for yourself) could be useful.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • If you care about her, protect her, be her best friend, and get her out of this relationship she is in and give her a new and better relationship, with you! Does she feel the same towards you? Does she even want to get out of this relationship, does she want to be saved?

    Talk with her about it and then do what you can to help her. No girl should be in any abusive relationship.

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What Girls Said 2

  • She's probably not the most stable to pursue at the moment, wait til she has had time on her own. I could see the point of you wanting to show her she can be treated better but I think if she went into another relationship immediately she won't be able to give you her full and honest commitment. This is just from personal experience and my friend, who supported me, didn't last.

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  • Save her

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What Guys Said 9

  • Women put themselves in that situation with their low self esteem/bad boy fantasies. Stay the hell away from her. She will probably walk all over you because you don't treat her like shit. She will get out of one abusive relationship and get right into another.

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  • Well if you feel she's worth your time you should take her out of her bad situation and introduce her to a better one. Negative is that she could suffer from low self-esteem and self worth and that can be a problem down the road or not she's probably a good person with a great heart. Good luck

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  • I think it is unethical. What would be ethical is to get her out of it not because you wanna replace the guy but beacause she needs help. After that she may need to learn to be on her own for awhile so that next time she won't feel so powerless if it happens again. You would only be manipulating her mentally if you used this for your own gain regardless of whether the outcome is possitive or negative for her.

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  • If you like her then go after her. Talk some sense in to her and if it's fear that's keeping her with the person only. Then make sure you kick his ass so bad thathes afraid of you. Whatever happens you should just talk to her and try your best to save her from that kinda relationship.

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  • It's not unethical in itself. If your motivation for liking her is based on her being in an abusive relationship then something is wrong with you otherwise if your feelings are based on her personality, I don't see a problem.

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  • Chances are she won't leave by choice, and make. you get her out, but then she'll turn it on you saying your gonna use the fact you saved her to exploit her

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  • There's a good chance you hear her exaggerate her version of what's happened because she just wants to vent so you may not know what's really going on. Plus you obviously like her so you have an incentive to find a reason for the guy to be an asshole. Are you totally objective about the situation? If you are, I recommend waiting for them to break up and then wait at least a few months to consider dating so that she can mentally adjust to a possible new relationship. Going after her while having feelings for another person sounds like a terrible idea i m o.

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  • 'you do not know what truly goes on behind closed doors...'

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  • She will start liking you and then you'll think it will be all perfect but it will end badly with emotionally unstable girl

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