Let's discuss... I hear when men really want something they go after it?

They don't have a problem solving hard problems, going after a career that require hard work and long hours and even being rejected etc...

But when it comes to asking a woman out and taking a chance.. all of a sudden they get shy/scared. ... why?

I may just be old school lol

Don't get rude or mad... just a question to discuss...


Most Helpful Guy

  • Men tend to see things in terms of cost vs. benefits. If a man wants something, he'll almost always go after it if the benefits outweigh the costs. What constitutes "cost" and "benefit" varies from man to man, but that's the basic idea.

    The same thing applies to pursuing women. We'll pursue them, but ONLY if we think the benefits outweigh the costs. For example, if a woman is playing "hard to get" some men might enjoy the challenge, while others will shy away and find someone easier to approach. The cost here is time, energy, and (sometimes) money. The benefit is companionship, love, sex, etc.

    Where it gets more nuanced is how much each individual man assigns value to each individual cost and benefit.

    In short, if you want a man to pursue you, make sure you're worth their time and energy. Otherwise he'll move on to someone who is.

    Hope this helps!


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What Guys Said 3

  • If a man is really, really interested in a woman, he will pursue her, that's correct. Usually even if he is shy- the prize that awaits him (a woman he is attracted to) is too great to let events take their own course.

  • I have pursued all of my romantic wants to be rejected every time. I no longer waste my life trying to get a girlfriend

    • I see

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    • you know how annoying it is to be told that i am young over and over again when the only thing i ever wanted in my life was to have a family? If the past has any indication on the future, i am going to be one lonely and bitter old man pretty soon.

    • I understand. But it just means there's still hope. You will have a family on your own someday.

  • From my own experience and experience of my friends guys are a little more complex than it they want it they go after it.

    Guys tend to be more likely to take risks, this is more down to the social convention of guys being the more forward sex, but often when you've taken risks and it hasn't gone well you don't always bounce back. Your confidence can take a hit.

    Myself? I've taken rejection in both relationships and work to heart and I'm an emotional kind of guy so it sticks with me, a lot of other people aren't quite as confident as others and sometimes it's just about how succesful they've been in the past.


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