In your opinion, is this true?

I recently talked to my boyfriend about his lack of affection. I know he hates being affectionate in public, but he really isn't affectionate with me at all. He never kisses me, hugs me, holds my hand, or anything of the sort. I always have to being affectionate towards him, and even then it won't seem like he wants it. He says that he just isn't an affectionate person, but I thought with time he would get a little better. I have been with him for almost a year and if anything he's gotten less affectionate with me. I feel like if you really like someone, after that long he would start to want to be affectionate with me, but no. Do you think that he's being honest and just doesn't like being affectionate? Has anyone else been with someone like this?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You're fundamentally incompatible. Break up with him and find someone who IS compatible--while you're still young.

    Lesson learned: don't form a relationship with someone, expecting them to change in time. Either you love him now (the way he is), or you love him never.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yea that is a good question.
    But you can’t change him, that’s how he is.
    You either stay with him and be miserable because you are not being loved the way you need to be loved (if you ever marry you will feel upset and that you made a huge mistake because you had hope to see changes).
    OR !
    You leave while you can because you deserve better and u know it. Being single is hard and depressing, but being with someone who doesn’t make u feel the way you need to feel, or doesn’t touch you right (touches you so right that you get completely crazy and you try and do things you never did before) it’s as bad as being single girl...
    If you really love him and want to sacrifice yourself for someone like him, it’s your choice but in the end, love takes you to places where we never imagine we would end up at (good places or bad places).
    It’s like you know that the titanic is going to sink but you choose to go anyway 😂😂

    Good luck! Good night!

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 18

  • I don't think I could tolerate being in a relationship like that. I would probably break up with him if I were you. If you've been with him for that long, and you barely/don't even hold hands then there's something wrong with either him or your relationship as a whole. But if you still want to be with him, that's your choice. Not trying to tell you what to do

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  • there could be many reasons why
    one some guys do that know how to express feelings.
    two some guys feel awkward as if they're going to do something wrong. three most guys that are virgins don't really know what to do do they have no experience that's when the girls supposed to teach you how to be romantic how to hold hands what is comfortable in public.

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  • My wife isn't affectionate plenty of people just aren't if its worth being with him anyway than go for it but if you have to ask not even anonymously I suggest you seriously consider moving on to someone who reciprocates some of that affection

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  • It doesn't matter what he likes or doesn't like. He's not meeting your needs. You want an affectionate partner. Dump your boyfriend and find someone who meets your needs.

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  • You can always ask him why he doesn't wanna be affection with you which I understand he doesn't show it but he must have a reason for it

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  • I know his type, i didn't like affection either for the longest time. in my case it was because i felt like if i was affectionate i would seem like im trying to hide something.

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  • I was in his position, I wasn't very affectionate, and I didn't realize it was a problem. You need to be up front with him and let him this is a problem in your relationship.

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  • He's just not an afffectionate guy. I'm the same it's just how I am. I find kissing and holding hands pointless and un-pragmantic. I show affection in different ways however

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  • I think he just doesn't like it.

    I've been with people like that. They became less affectionate in time.

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  • I had a girlfriend who was affectionate at one point but slowly stopped. Turns out she was sleeping with multiple others...

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  • He's probably telling the truth but he should at least try to show you some love to make you happy.

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  • Cut it loose... Find someone who can't keep their hands off you. Everyone deserves to be wanted.

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  • How much time do you spend together?

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  • This is weird. Maybe he should change

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  • Find the guy you wa t

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  • If you dont like that man, get another man

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  • It can be true, the girls that really like me often say that im "dry" when it comes to romance. That dosent mean im not affectionate. I just show it diffrently and they know that. When ever a girl im with becomes demanding for affection and wants more, i take that as a sign that things aren't working out. So if you really like the guy your with, except him for how he is. If you feel like you need more, leave him and find some one who is just as passionate as u are. U never want to feel like a burden.

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  • You're too young to be settled down anyway

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What Girls Said 6

  • Everyone has a different love language. What makes you feel loved and what makes him feel loved could be different

    If you Google it you can get more insight on the five love languages

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  • My last boyfriend was not particularly affectionate. It was difficult for me, as I am. As long as you’re honest with each other about your needs, you can get through it.

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  • He could be telling the truth.
    My dad is like this. He's not into PDA but he is also not very affectionate at home. My mom and I are always the ones that initiate the affection and he is often not very responsive to it.
    Could be the way he was raised. If his family isn't into hugs and kisses, then he just may not be used to it or know exactly how to respond.
    If it's truly an issue for you, explain to him that it is bothering you. It's important to communicate. He may be able to explain to you why he shys away from affection. And once he realizes how much it means to you he can try to make more of an effort to be affectionate.

    Good luck!

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  • Some peolle just aren't affectionate. If it bothers you so much, talk to him about it and go look for another person.

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  • People don't change hun. If he's not an affectionate person, than that's that.

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  • Omg yes. I had to deal with it for a year and a half. I tried so hard to love him but, it felt like he never put as much effort into all parts in our relationship. I just didn’t feel loved and he didn’t understand how I felt and got annoyed when I tried to explain this exact thing to him. Honestly, it really brought me down and tied me down. Eventually I left even tho it hurt so bad because I really did love him and didn’t want to give up on him. But sometimes you have to put yourself first. You’ll be okay.

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