Guys is it true that you only feel able to open up properly to a partner AFTER sex?

Women generally like to create an emotional connection BEFORE sex can take place... is it really true that men generally do this AFTER sex? If so... why?

I only ask because I'm interested in people's own words on this topic rather than articles in magazines etc.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think those articles are just trying to make girls think they have to give out to connect with a guy. That isn't necessarily the case.

    What *is* the case is that if a guy opens up to a girl before sex, she'll friendzone him almost every time, so even if guys are 'able,' many won't do it. If girls would stop friendzoning any guy who doesn't treat them like a disposable sex toy, there are lots of guys who would be willing to open up before sex

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    • I'm not sure that's the case entirely, if she's friend zoning him it's because she's not attracted to him, I don't think sleeping with him alone could change that level of attraction as it's much more than just the physical aspect for a girl, yes sex helps to bond women, but only on a deeper level of an already established attraction to a partner, if she's friend zoned him due to a lack of attraction sex isn't about to change that.

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    • Personally, the approach I take is to establish within the first few times I'm around a girl that I'm interested in her as more than a friend. I’ve learned that making a strong impression with a girl as a suitor from the start will determine how she views me from then on. Then as I back off and get to know her, I consistently (and tactfully) compliment her and mention things about her that reasserts my interest in her as more than a friend. I’m fine if a girl is reserved about jumping into a relationship head first. But I make certain that there is absolutely no pretense of ‘just friends and let’s see what happens.’ That’s a recipe for a very stale marriage or divorce.

    • Yeah I understands how that works from a male perspective, you want to give her the impression that you're interested in her, but it's also wise to build a friendship too with someone you have great chemistry with. I just see and hear of too many people that jump straight into things only to ruin it, there should be a natural and gradual progression of the relationship. First thing you need is chemistry - check, second is a level of friendship so that you know you'll get along well enough to make it worthwhile enough to last.

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What Guys Said 9

  • For me it's true, it's the intimacy which comes with it. I already had bad experiences when I opened up earlier and women then abused it. If you had sex you know that you can (most probably) trust her and that she trusts you.

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    • Why does the trust come for you after sex though? I think for most women the opposite is true, they need to feel they can trust men first before sleeping with them.

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    • *think

    • Yeah, as I said, it's just that last bit of trust that I need.

  • It's easier for a guy to open up after sex. It's not always the case but a guy really has no need to lie after they just got their rocks off.

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    • You mean because he got what he wanted so it no longer matters?

    • No not that lol. Like he's achieved the ultimate passion and he's in a state of euphoria. When you let your pants down you let your guard down. You've heard of people letting go of inhibitions... its the same thing.

    • Ahhh got ya lol

  • Yup it's true.. but if he is accepting the fact.. it means he just want to fuck.. and if he is not accepting and still not opening up.. it means he will only open up after sex. I have the same problem.. don't know why.

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  • Depends on the guys age... when I was younger I connected more after sex... now I want a connection or commitment b4 sex

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  • Depends on the guy, but honestly if a guy is saying he'll only open up after sex, that sounds like BS he's using to get laid.

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  • No not at all. What kind of stupid magazine said that is the case?

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  • No
    Its not like that

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  • That doesn't make sense tbh, who does that 😃

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  • Her sexually being open and desiring me makes me feel way closer.

    I think it basically comes down to how we evolved - women are more likely to mate with a male who is going to stick around, men are more likely to want to stick around and help a female they're mating exclusively with. Men who stayed bonded to women they weren't sleeping with raised other men's kids and died out of the gene pool.

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