If I stop acting insecure and jealous will my relationship be better?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I've been in the situation before. It becomes annoying. If there is no trust, why stick around? Or why not cheat in some guys minds. Plus, if you are too clingy, he knows you will stick around, even if he does something. Know your worth. Be confident.

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    • Oddly enough, he is the one who says he wouldn’t walk away easily if I️ were the one to cheat.

      I️ know I️ wouldn’t tolerate cheating from him. I️ don’t have the emotionally capacity to heal and continue with a man that cheats on me :/

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    • I got you. If thats the case, i think you are right to worry. Sounds like preparation. A guy should know better than to stick himself in that situation if he thinks it could become a problem. I've done it. Went out with a girl friend. I believe i likely drank from her drink at some point which seemed was roofied. Or she did it. Either way, black outs and bad memories. Confessed to my bad deeds that i could barely recall. Just know i stopped before going too far. Still caught the wrath. And after all was said and done, it was my fault. shouldn't have went out drinking at a bar while my girl was at home. Lesson learned. Sounds like your guy may have somebody in mind already. Maybe not. Just watch out if a chicks name keeps coming up. Sounds like he's already setting up a buffer for future plans.

    • He already knows, that if he cheats i REFUSE to stick around. He seems hurt that I’ve mentioned this. I️ mean, I️t isn’t right to threaten something. But, I’m not threatening I️t. I️m stating my boundaries and what I️ expect. I️ won’t be cheating on him when I’m drunk, so, I️ have the right to believe he would be able to resist as well. And trust me, there have been many chances for me to cheat (with randoms and friends). But, even in my drunken state - I’d never do that to someone. My ex did I️t to me so many times. I️t hurt.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Firstly why are you feeling so insecure or jealous?

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    • I am just insecure my boyfriend will find someone prettier than me and leave. Or, he might get drunk at a party when I’m not there and maybe cheat. I️ don’t know.

      He has told me he’d forgive me if I️ were to drunkenly cheat. I️ hope he doesn’t believe the same, even when I’ve told him I️ wouldn’t forgive him.

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    • I don’t feel attacked. I have gone to therapy before. My therapist thought the issue was the relationship -not me. I️ just sometimes get upset in the relationship and compare I️t to how he used to be with his exes. He’s much older now than he was in his last relationships. But, sometimes I️ get upset and feel loved less than they do. I️ often get insecure and jealous that he isn’t super lovey dovey with me and he doesn’t want to show me off 24/7. I️ know that’s not how relationships work. But, I️ just sometimes feel he doesn’t love me as much as he says.

    • It sounds like you and him need more date nights (more time together)

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 20

  • Yes. Insecurity and jealousy is okay but to a certain extent. Beyond the point where it's just "cute" jealousy or the "does my butt look big?" Insecurity, then you yourself have an issue of trust and lack of self-love because you under value yourself to feel such ways

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  • Probably, if you are acting too overbearing. Here's the thing. People say jealous as if it is always bad. They act like people should go through their lives and never feel jealous as if it is some kind of evil and something is wrong with you if you feel jealous. It is a normal human emotion with love, happiness, anger, fear, joy... it is a human emotion all people have.

    I suppose it boils down to, is your guy a good guy, is he loyal and true and is he not doing anything to make you jealous and you are just having an issue and feeling jealous for now reason at all and stressing him out? Are you being unfair and too upset when he's given you no reason to be upset? If so, yes it would probably be healthy for the relationship if you could work through that and to let constant flare ups of jealousy go.

    ... or is he constantly pushing the boundaries in your relationship, is he constantly interacting with women in borderline questionable or flirty ways and setting off your natural instinct to feel jealous of too much attention or time spent with other women? Is he really doing things that make you feel jealous? Then the problem is with him.

    The fact that you feel jealousy isn't an automatic declaration that there is some problem with you, it kind of depends on why you feel jealous and whether he is doing things that would reasonably make a mate feel jealous or whether you are feeling jealous for no reason at all.

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  • Yeah. If you show your insecurities to a guy too much he will lose some/all of his attraction to you eventually OR he will just get tired of it and tune you out so you’re only hurting yourself

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  • There is ZERO room for any, even the tiniest amount, of jealousy in a relationship. I will not put up with even a little. It is a cancer that will destroy any relationship. If you can't trust your partner then you shouldn't be with them.

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    • disagree. A certain amount of jealousy is healthy and normal.

  • Your partner should not be making you feel jealous. I personally don't believe that jealousy is healthy in a lasting relationship. If they care enough and love you they would not want you to feel jealous. Jealousy is part of human nature. But it's a negative one that your partner should want to help you avoid. As for insecurities... that's mostly you. I do think that relationships are stronger when you aren't an insecure person.

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  • Maybe, some people do like that personality and some don’t. The best tip I can give you is to ask him/her what does he/she thinks about shyness or so and guess from an answer or just ask him/her directly

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  • It seems that you're reflecting your own desires on him. I'm pretty convinced that you're the one who would leave him if found someone better looking or cheat on him when get drunk at a party etc...
    Deep down, ask your self if you're being honest with your man and your self

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  • Absolutely. Any relationship built on insecurities and jealousy won't last long. Take it from firsthand experience.

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  • It most likely should... No one likes a crazy girlfriend...

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  • If he wouldn't leave you if you cheated, aren't you done with him already?

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    • What do you mean? I have not cheated and I️ never would cheat. I️ told him I️t is silly to stay with someone if they cheated - and if I️ were to ever cheat, I’d advise him not to stay.

      He knows this.

    • Well I read the betwedn the lines as he doesn't value monogamy as much as he values you above all else. I would want a partner in life, not a devotee.

  • Damn noooo

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  • Yes, stop that petty shit and act like an adult

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  • Yup! Way better

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  • Yes it will

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  • does a bear shit in the woods?

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  • Yes, things would be much better.

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  • Do you really need to ask this? Of course.

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  • Is this a serious question?

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  • Obviously

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    • I am trying to stop worry about my boyfriend and just let him prove to me if he’s the type to cheat. I️ still experience jealous feelings though :( I️ just don’t say anything.

    • People will do what they want and if they want to cheat they will, if you can't trust him maybe he's not tge one for you

  • Most likely lol

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    • I mean, what if i still remain jealous and insecure but just don’t act like I️t?

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    • Yes. But, sometimes people still cheat - even if they say these things :(
      I️t just makes me sad that people can sometimes do that, in a relationship :/

    • Yeah cheating hurts people

What Girls Said 8

  • Yes it definitely will. Confidence is sexy, jealousy will just fuck up the whole relationship. Be jealous but not too jealous

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  • Probably, yes. Insecurity and jealousy can wear a person down. It removes the fun and becomes exhausting. Often it makes you feel controlled.

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  • Is there a reason why you’ve been feeling that way? Has he done or shown something that has been throwing you off?

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  • Yes it will be a lot better. Trust your partner a little bit of trust goes a long way

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  • To what extent? If you're asking then it's probably excessive so I'm going to go with yes

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  • It will be better

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  • Of course!

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  • Yes it will definitely improve! My realtionship pretty much ruined because I was like that and would pick stupid petty fights and it pushed him away and he lost feelings and now I’d do anything to take it all back. First of all, you just have to sit back and think “is this really something worth getting upset over?” before you say anything to him.

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