My boyfriend told me he had drunk sex with a guy when he was 15 :/ how do I get over this?

Me and my boyfriend are both 17 and up until now everything was perfectly fine and we were really in love. Two days ago my boyfriend confessed to me in tears that two years ago he got drunk with a guy he used to be friends with and had sex with him. He was in a really bad emotional state and keeps saying ever since he told me that he wants to kill himself because he can't accept what he did and he can't live with his mistake. My boyfriend isn't gay he explained to me that he was always really really attracted to girls but he just couldn't get one and that he had always wanted to have sex with a girl to know what it feels like and that when he was drunk and had sex with the guy he was closing his eyes and imagining it's a girl etc. I know he's not gay because of how attracted he is to me and the sex we used to have everyday. I however am finding this very hard to get through. I believed that he was also a Virgin all along and that I was his first for everything but now I find out I wasn't and I'm hurt that he just used his friend in that way for pleasure like it's so gross I'm so sad because I really care about him and everything was fine.. what should I do 😣

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Most Helpful Guy

  • What's there to "get over"? Are you saying you were never curious about another girl. Everyone at some point in their lives has had thoughts, desire to try or has tried it in some way, male or female. If they say they haven't then they are lying to you and themselves. It is a natural thing in human development and there is nothiing for you to get over. Reassure him that there is nothing wrong as far as you are concerned and be open for hom to talk to you. By being open for each other you will build a much stronger and healthier connection which will lead to a better relationship. case your wondering how I know I have a B. S. in Applied Developmental Psychology and finishing up my Master in Social Work to be a LCMSW, Licensed therapist.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Quite honestly.. There's not a problem here :/
    Other than your boyfriend feeling guilty over something that he really doesn't need to feel guilty over.. (Other than the loss of a friend of course)..
    This sort of stuff just happens ya know? And it's not like this is anything recent.. This happened two years ago! So it really shouldn't be having this much of an effect on him now as it seems to be having.. I can understand you feeling somewhat upset over not being his first.. But it's really not that big of a deal.
    If you two truly loved each other you'd realize that this is not anything that should be enough of a problem to damage your relationship. What's in the past is in the past.. Especially that far back! That's what.. Freshman year? Maybe sophomore? I mean.. Everyone is ritzy at that age and he was also drunk! It's one thing if this happened recently.. But it hasn't. So I hope you guys can resolve this issue and move on. And I hope this helps :)

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What Guys Said 11

  • Tell him its okay. It might be a little traumatic, but its okay. Thats nothig too bad. He just tried something out. It might be disgusting but its in the past. Leave it be. He has girl now and he has sex with her. Make him focus ob the present. Try to convince him that its not somehing horrible.

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  • There's nothing bad in trying something out, especially when you're drunk. Also it already happened in the past. Now you have each other, so you're already luckier than many other poor lonely souls out there.

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  • Don't have sex until you are married! You can forgive him, even though that is hard, but If he hasn't changed I would leave

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  • Well the past os the past he was drunk shit happens when ypur drunk of he's not gay and it happend only once let it go

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  • Things happen in the past. Both of you's need to get over it and enjoy the time you have together

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  • Just get over it, it's not the end of the world. The important thing is that he loves you now and you love him back. That's all that matters.

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  • Sometimes you gotta suck a d to know sucking dick isn't for you...

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  • Whats done can not be undone, so ignore, thats only thing u can do !!

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  • Women get drunk and make out with each other all the time

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  • Have sex with a girl and call it even

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  • Nothing wrong here.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Did he cheat on you or was it before you met? If it was a one time thing before you met, I wouldn't worry about it.

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  • Leave him. Being drunk is not an excuse.

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