Sexual videos in my boyfriends saved vids on instagram... is that okay?

i was just logged in to my boyfriends instagram (we’ve been dating for over a year) and i saw a few sexual videos in there.

this one that stood out was a girl that’s thinner than i am in her underwear just showing her thighs and tummy and underwear and stuff. im like extremely insecure so it hurt me a bit.

there were a few others but yeah, im not sure exactly how to bring it up with him or how to feel. i just know my self esteem is pretty crushed right now.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Why was you on his instagram? Not saying that him having these videos isn't wrong, because it is however if I was him I would definitely be pissed that you went on my insta without my permission. Betrayal of trust.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You shouldn't be logging into his accounts unless you have his permission, so bringing this up means admitting you're in the wrong too. But I think communication is important in a relationship. Just say one day you need to have a serious talk, say you're sorry but you were looking at his account and you know you shouldn't have done that, then tell him you found something you weren't happy about. Have a conversation about whether he's willing to stop or whether you can both come to a compromise. You really need to trust him and keep out of his business, but equally, he needs to not betray that trust like this!!

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 5

  • Dont do it. he's not cheating or anything. he's just male. he's looking at attractive females. Its what males do.

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  • The first thing you need to do is stop yourself from assuming the worst by default. My biggest concern if I were you would be how did he get the videos. I mean saved Instagram videos? What does that mean? How do you know where they were from? Did someone send those to him?

    Second, there's no reason to feel insecure like that. He wouldn't be dating you if he thought you weren't attractive.

    You girls are like living balls of insecurities lol. Learn to let go of these things that keep you so tense. It's really not a big deal that he finds more attractive girls more attractive. That doesn't stop you from being very attractive. If you think whoever that girl dates doesn't watch some other girls with very different features than her then you don't understand men very well haha!

    I think the real concern however, should be the source of the videos.

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  • Was this on his feed or on his actual account? If it was on his account this pretty weird. If it's his feed that's pretty normal in my opinion. I had the same scenario with my ex and she got jealous over it. It's not like we're cheating on our partner. It's just past follows. Also my ex didn't ever have sex with me so it kind of strengthened my opinion that it was harmless to have a little eye candy on my feed. If you want to convince your boyfriend to unfollow the accounts, I would make him focus on you more by trying to be more sexy for him. Just my opinion

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  • It's like porn we all like it

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  • nothing wrong in that..

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What Girls Said 5

  • Me personally I think it's okay. It's like watching porn. Guys are just horny as hell so even if y'all are having sex he's gonna be horny. Better he get himself off then someone else in my opinion? And I understand the feeling insecure, but people find all types of bodies attractive. Im sure they're are guys you find attractive that look different from your boyfriend. At the end of the day he's woth you for a reason and thinks you're beautiful I'm sure

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  • Don't ask us.. Ask yourself, are you okay with this behaviour? Yes or no?

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    • Adding on to this if you don't feel comfortable with it I'd ask him about it.

  • He can do what he wants. Personally I think it's ok. It's just a video.

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  • Just leave it be.. People gotta cum you know?

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  • It is not ok for me but it depends what you think

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