How do you have “the talk”?

You know, the one where you define what you both want or don’t want, and where you see a potential relationship going? How long should you wait to have it? Where should you have it? Who should initiate?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • As soon as you both figure out the relationship has moved towards exclusivity. I think time and place is a little difficult because it depends on the people involved. I've been married eight almost nine years in my second marriage. We still talk about the direction of our relationship on a regular basis which is in stark contrast to my first go around.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • First talk was about exclusivity, before we became official though, few days after we became official I started asking him about boundaries in our relationship, then another day we established likes and dislikes, just sort of learning new things as days go by, but not having everything at once because otherwise it can be too much to talk about all at once otherwise which makes harder to remember what had been said.

    As for sex, to me it just sort of happened, wasn't exactly planned in any way, it just felt right when we did it. I did ask him if he had been tested and all before we did anything.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • When the relationship feels like its stuck im the same setting too long. You should probably have it somewhere private. Anyone can initiate the talk.

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  • The first "talk" in a relationship should be about monogamy. If that goes well give it a while and take it from there.

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  • Might I ask what kind of talk are you thinking when will he propose or have kids?

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    • But what you both want and don't want should have been established during your early dating stage when you interrogated each other unless you skipped it for sex

  • I would first wait for solid evidence that he or she is "into you".

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What Girls Said 1

  • When you feel like your relationship needs definition then you should be talking about it. Don't be afraid to express yourself OP

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