I go out (not dating) with a girl for a couple months. Another girl from the same group of friends is kinda hitting on me. Is it wrong to go for it?

I am a shy guy with very little experience in dating. Last year I pushed myself to become more extrovert and worked on my appearance. Lately I started a few new classes and all of the students regularly go out clubbing.

There is this girl that we hit it off from the start. We constantly tease each other, she had made a couple compliments about my appearance/style, we asks me to go together to the clubs to meet our co-students, we are touchy with each other and she invites me when she goes out with her friends. I find her attractive and I enjoy her company.

On the other hand it is not unusual for her to cancel our plans, all the times i asked her out she always brought a friend along so we were never alone. When a girl asked us if we were dating she said "dating with <myname>? don't be silly" and she made a similar remark when it was just the two of us. She once invited me to sleep at her house after a late night out, but her bestie was also staying (I went home instead, it wasn't even far). This goes on for a few months now, perhaps the signs are clear whether she likes me that way or not, but I can't tell at this point. If I was more assertive it would be clear by now, but I didn't felt comfortable making a move when we were out with others.

In some of the classes, there is another girl that made a few more clear hints that she is interested in me. She is a very nice person and I like her more that the 1st girl.

My main question is; can the thing with the 1st girl be considered, by any stretch of the term, dating? I personally don't think so but then again I am not that experienced in dating. Secondary question, should I go for the new girl, and if I do so, will it make things weird between the three of us and perhaps the rest of the group?

I am 28, both girls are in their early 20s for all that it matters.


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  • No it’s not dating, the first chick is playing to man games. Am pretty sure she sees you as a friend and hearing the details you provided she treats you as such. A girl wh o is interested will not blow of plans all the time or bring people along. Go with the second chick and if the first one by any chance (doubt it) thinks you are playing her tell her that she plays to much and flake. Life’s to short to be playing mind games all the time.


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