How does the military affect dating? Should I pursue this guy or is he just not into me?

Hey guys,

I matched this one guy on Tinder who is a soldier and stationed close to my city. After a bit of texting, he drove over to my city last weekend where we spend a really nice weekend together. Our friends met, we slept with each other and had a bit of "real talk" about what our thoughts on this thing between us are. He told me that his job is causing him to be really busy and that i shoudn't get mad or upset when he can't text back immediately.

Fast forward to this week. He texts me every day, but very short and very irregularly. But he does text me daily. I'm a little confused whether he really is too busy to text back (he comes online from time to time without texting me back) or he is just not into it and trying to be a gentleman about it. I'm worried that he maybe found someone else on Tinder or is just not interested in me. Then again.. he literally told me that he is busy during the week which confuses me because last week he texted me way more (maybe a work related coincidence?)

Now I'm thinking.. should I stop replying for a day and check if he double-texts me or should I just keep answering? Also this weekend I'm out of town and not able to meet him, but next weekend I would be free and would love to meet him. Should I ask him next Tuesday or Wednesday if he wants to meet up or should I let him do the chasing?

I'm really confused.. Really looking forward for your answer!
Take care


Most Helpful Guy

  • Military relationships are very difficult and not for everyone. What you have to understand is he has absolutely no control over his life. You will always come second to the needs of the service. The other thing is he doesn’t have time or the energy to play juvenile texting/dating games. He plays enough games in the service. Grow up and if you want to text then do so and not worry about anything else. There will be times you won’t hear from him for a long time because of service duties. When the duties are over he’ll contact you. One of the best ways to keep in touch is still the old fashioned snail mail. Getting letters especially while deployed is very gratifying


Most Helpful Girl

  • I would not play games. If you have time to text and want to text, text him. However, understand that he is at work and it might not be the best to constantly be distracting him while he is supposed to be working. As for the weeked, let him know you're free and you would like to see him. I don't think there is anything wrong in going for what you want.


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What Guys Said 3

  • My sister dated a guy in highschool and he went to the military so they got married and she mkved to the base with him and its been over a year now so take that as you wish lol

  • Military wives have it very hard
    If you don't mind being alone a lot and constatly worrying about him if he goes overseas on tours then so be it

    But its not for everyone

  • The advice. given this far is great, nothing more. to add


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