Does he still have feelings for his ex-girlfriend?

Ok, guys. I've been dating a guy for about 2 1/2 months. We've both been married (to other people) before. I'm divorced with a 4 year old. He has a baby with his ex-girlfriend. They dated for 11 months - they broke up when she was about 3 months pregnant. He said they were not getting along... everything he did annoyed her and he was tired of the constant fighting. She moved to Ireland and he lives in the U. S. He is visiting her and their baby in Ireland right now for 10 days. My issue is that he is staying with her in her studio apartment. In a studio, of course, there are no bedrooms. He says he is sleeping on a futon. To me, this seems like a perfect storm for a hookup to occur. Or, I could just be paranoid. Also, he has not told her he is seeing me. He facetimes her, and I was at his house one time when he facetimed her and their son. He did this in front of me (props to him), but wanted me to be quiet and stay off screen. At one point I heard her ask him what he is doing for Thanksgiving and he said he and his brother were spending it together. In actuality, we had already made plans (that did in fact happen) for him to meet my family for Thanksgiving. He said he did not want her to know we were dating because he will be staying with her in Ireland. ? Why not tell her we're dating? Why hide it? Does he still have feelings for her or am I being paranoid? I appreciate your input in advance!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It sounds like he may want to keep it quiet because bringing up a new girl could make her mad enough that she may not let him see his son. It doesn't sound like he would go there to hookup. He probably want a to spend as much time as he can with his son. I don't think you should be too worried but maybe express your concerns about him keeping you quiet and if he truly wants to be with you he will be honest about it all

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    • You are naive. He wants to bang her. Saying he has a girlfriend will prevent or lesson his chance of getting laid.

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What Guys Said 6

  • It sounds very fishy. Unless he has absolutely no other alternative to see his child, he should not stay with her. And being at it's a baby, he could have waited a while and save up some money before going over. The reason for not letting his ex know about you is lame.

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  • He almost certainly still has feelings for her, but that's not a bad thing. If he had none at all, wouldn't you find that concerning? If he could just be completely out of love that quickly, how deep is his capacity to be in love in the first place? But again, don't trust liars.

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  • At the very minimum it’s extremely insensitive and shows he cares nothing for your feelings. How would he like it if it was reversed

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  • He needs to tell her that he's with you... If he can't be honest with someone else about seeing you then I don't like the future your relationship has

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  • He may not have any choice about his living situation.

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  • They are having sex. Gauranteed. You shouldn't allow this. Ireland? Sleeping in the same room alone?

    You never forget about sex with an ex. And the bond of sex with the mother of your child is lasting.

    Sex happened in Ireland. They likely are still or even were having sex prior. Dont believe a word either of them say. They will lie together too.

    A man will want to make his ex jealous by introducing you. He also will take pride in dating you. Dont let him go on the trip unless you go. He is planning to fuck her!

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    • No. They could be, but that's wrong to offer a "guarantee". Would she even want to fuck 3 months after giving birth? (I have no experience in that dept). Traveling to see his baby on another continent is worth an allowance of him staying in the same room. Now I certainly don't trust this guy because he's already demonstrated that he lies.

    • @rigger2 yeah. At the very least he wants to fuck her. They both could be lying about the pregnancy time.

What Girls Said 8

  • He possibly didn't want to lose the chance to see his kid but this definitely sounds shady and you should talk to him about why you don't like it. I think he should be honest

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  • Sounds sketchy, are you sure he's still not "trying to work things out" with her? You've only been dating for 2 months, he may not be taking you as serious as you think.

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  • He is double dating you. If you not happy with that you need to out.

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  • He doesn't wanna lose the opportunity to see his kid. Either that, or you're the side chick.

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  • Definitely doesn't seem quite right! Go with you gut

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  • Definitely suspicious that he won't tell her about you. Ask him about it.

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  • I think he still has feelings for her.

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  • Tell him he needs to tell her about your relationship. Obviously it's not the right thing if he is hiding that from the ex. Either he talks or there's an issue you need to raise.

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