What do you use to build up the confidence to approach someone?

Not everyone is confident 100% of the time. What gives you the most confidence to approach someone?
  • Alochol
    Vote A
  • Drugs
    Vote B
  • Sexy clothes
    Vote C
  • Good personal hygine
    Vote D
  • Working out
    Vote E
  • Some or all of the above
    Vote F
  • Other response
    Vote G
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Most Helpful Guy

  • The 5 second rule... See someone you like... approach within 5 seconds. The monkey brain is in your head to protect you from all things that could harm you. Obviously approaching someone will not harm you but the hard wiring is still their from long ago. If you approached the wrong person back in the day (village times) you could lose your life. We need to overcome this false fear and just approach before your brain talks you out of it.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • The fact I WANT to approach them, that what do I have to lose by simply saying "Hi" to them or asking a question? What if I never get this opportunity again to see them or what if this person has a significant impact on my life?

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What Guys Said 65

  • Most of the confidence comes from our brain, thinking too much about things instead of jumping and trying to catch them. I'm personally really shy but I've never been scared to try something. For me, I only think about what I'll do with a lot of detail before going bed and next day I try it out and wish for the best ^^

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  • I keep reminding myself that she may be there for me by fate and that a chance does not last long and more often than not, chances won't come around twice. And at the same time I keep telling myself that there's plenty of fish in the sea, getting rejected by her is not the end of the world and doing nothing at all means dead.

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  • Alcohol always helps. Also being with some of bros did when I was more inexperienced as well. Almost like I was trying to impress my friends. Funny thing was I had lot of success when I did and I ended up hooking up a bunch of my buddies with the girl's friends. I was always the initiator lol

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  • My confidence isn't the problem. The chance that this exact girl might be one of the arse holes just requires me to assess the situation first. If someone makes a polite impression, I will have no worries whatsoever.

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  • Either there is proximity and it's just mutual and organic, or they approach me... I think approaching strangers is for creepers.

    On the other hand... I do workout to encourage creepers to creep out on me.

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  • Working out. I have always been a shy guy but three weeks ago I saw a nice girl in the gym and flirted a little bit with her. She didn´t want to give me her phonenumber but I was really happy to ask her. Since then I don´t have a problem with talking to girls anymore. I don´t even have an idea how I got so confident in that moment but it worked and now I can talk to girls and getting refused by them all the time. Hell yeah...

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  • for me i would take help from my friends to manipulate me though i won't get

    for my friends, i little bit manipulate the environment along with them to magnify their progress towards each other, til today this has proven successful.

    Also alcohol, drugs have some certain psychological sideeffects which won't help u much if u wanna go in serious relationship

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  • (In my head)
    *Ooooh! She's cute... alright, Man up! You got this dude!
    (Approaching girl)
    *right dont fk this up, be cool.
    Me: uh hi?
    (F**K!)

    In all seriousness - I'm motivated by the desire to not feel lonely. So I just take a chance and learn to adapt with the personality of whoever I talk to. Be positive, open and inviting and you will attract people to you. If people dont like it, they are the ones you filter out.

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  • Honestly.. I say the best way to get confidence is to use the 123 method.. It ensures that u will never back down in the first place.. All u gotta do is count from 3 to 1 in your mind and as soon as you hit 1, you start your approach and then the rest is up to u from there.. This method reduces fear as it gives the brain less time to think of possible failures and focus more on winning as soon as you hit number 1

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    • i tried this method on a less risky situation "Filip you bastard if you dont touch your kidneys with cold hands in 3 sec from now you will never approach that embodiment of an angel"
      i succeeded
      after counting to 350

    • What the fuck😂😂😂😂

    • Its hard 😂😂😂

  • My beliefs.
    I believe I am the shit, backed by science and God himself. So, I can go up and talk to a girl with the confidence that I have what it takes.
    If I fail, it was just NOT a match between her and I.
    BELIEVE...

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  • I just need to think of something to say and find the courage to get it out of my mouth. (This is hard for pretty much everyone I don't know well yet, being shy from self hate.)

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  • I just remind myself that no matter what she says, she'll be in the trunk of my car in about 15 minutes anyway.

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  • You just got to keep trying until it becomes the norm no other way cold approaching is skill you have to learn.

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  • I tried to loosen up with alcohol, but the alcohol made me more pessimistic and I was a negative nelly from it. I tried not consuming alcohol, but I struggled to even say hello to a girl. Girls expect guys who only want to sleep with them at a nightclub, not someone looking for a long term relationship. So, the whole atmosphere was wrong for me to try to approach a girl. I could easily get into dirty dancing with a girl, so long as I showed some respect, but I never walked away with anything to show for afterwards.

    In order to build up the confidence, I need to really encourage myself and drill in the notion of why I need to approach a woman. The nightclub scene wasn't right for me, maybe somewhere more neutral where I can start with an easy hello and go from there. I want a long term relationship but I am going to have to get aggressive when the time comes.

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  • Build up confidence? It's already built , approaching someone never was really a problem to me I mean after all what's the worse that could happen? I'd wouldn't die or get poor so it's not really a problem lol

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  • None of those above actually help in the long run. Those are all material things. It's the mindset, being comfortable with being uncomfortable and basic interaction skills. You can find videos on this on YouTube (most are crap but some actually explain how shit works and I tried it out). This is how I went from being awkward and introverted to meeting new people. It depends how serious you are about it xD. The things above could maybe enhance your attitude like Good personal hygiene and working out should be something that you already do for yourself anyway. Yea sexy clothes can make a difference but it depends what type of man you want to attract. Reveal much and you will attract all types of dudes but mostly bad xD think it trough when you dress and you will see the difference.

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  • Taking care of yourself is the only way to actually improve your confidence. Drugs & alcohol might take the edge off, but you're not really developing yourself that way. Practice makes perfect.

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  • Pretty much all of the above for me and especially my ability to read them, if they seemed interested in me then that’s all I need.

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  • I have a very nihilistic personality so I could honestly give two shits about the outcome of any situation I'm in. that's a good place to start if you ask me

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  • Start out confident and you don't have to build it up in the first place. It's all a mind thing.

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What Girls Said 14

  • I don't really approach anyone, just go for it but in the back of your mind remember there's a chance they might say no and if they do then that's okay cause there's always better luck next time. I that helps absorbs the hurt of possible rejection and will not make one feel as bad.

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  • I feel better about myself when I'm in good shape. I haven't been in a long time so I feel pretty crappy and don't expect anyone to be attracted to me. I need to lose at 30 lbs to be back to my "normal" and 70 lbs to be what society would consider attractive. So I just get depressed and eat another cookie.

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  • What is the worst thing that could happen? An awkward moment with a stranger? So what? You'll probably never see him again. You have more to gain than to loose.

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  • But really the fear of if don't approach don't get nothing. Close mouth don't get feed.

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  • Alcohol, make up and flattering clothes. The alc helps the most though.

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  • I basically have no shame. I don't need confidence. I just do and say whatever the hell I want.

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  • Friends giving me encouragement and boosting my confidence by telling me how awesome i am.

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  • Nothing. I don't approach others.

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  • Stretching. I feel more relaxed lol

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  • By giving no fucks.

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  • Last opportunity. It was a now or never situation.

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  • The whatever fuck it.

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  • working out

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